{"id":9885,"date":"2013-09-18T22:11:03","date_gmt":"2013-09-18T21:11:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/?p=9885"},"modified":"2017-12-05T08:32:55","modified_gmt":"2017-12-05T07:32:55","slug":"som-en-konsumatta-ar-det-bestamt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=9885","title":{"rendered":"Som en “Konsum\u00e5tta” \u00e4r det best\u00e4mt."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Kf1957\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Det \u00e4r bara fem grader ute. Svart. Desperat blommande citrontr\u00e4d m\u00e5ste r\u00e4ddas snart. Sj\u00e4lv sitter jag inne och skickar stora filer till USA. D\u00e4rifr\u00e5n f\u00e5r de g\u00e5 ut till de andra. V\u00e4nner och s\u00e5dana jag inte k\u00e4nner, de flesta p\u00e5 platser jag inte heller k\u00e4nner och inte kommer att bes\u00f6ka.<\/p>\n

Ljuset har brunnit h\u00e4r p\u00e5 skrivbordet hela dan. Eller ljusen i plural. Jag har klarat av ett g\u00e4ng. Som jag skrivit f\u00f6rr s\u00e5 hj\u00e4lper de mig. Lugnar ner och ger koncentration. F\u00f6rr var det cigaretter i massor som gjorde det. Det underbara nikotinet som gjorde att man kunde beh\u00e5lla koncentrationen en hel dag bara man matade p\u00e5 med cigarett efter cigarett utan avbrott. Ljusen kanske \u00e4r b\u00e4ttre. Eller ocks\u00e5 \u00e4r de inte det.<\/p>\n

Firat har jag gjort idag. Ensam s\u00e5klart, f\u00f6r vem skulle fatta? Alldeles f\u00f6r m\u00e5nga bullar med kaffe och Jag borde inte \u00e4ta bullar alls. Men tyckte jag var v\u00e4rd det idag. Har jobbat som fan f\u00f6r att f\u00e5 ut det h\u00e4r till ett slags “klart” l\u00e4ge. Men mest tr\u00f6tt nu bara, har k\u00f6rt \u00e4nda dit fram jag orkar. Mer skulle inte g\u00e5 utan \u00e5verkan p\u00e5 systemet det som \u00e4r en sj\u00e4lv, fast kanske \u00e4nd\u00e5. Man g\u00e5r och l\u00e4gger sig och sen snurrar allt ig\u00e5ng igen. Vi \u00e4r underliga maskiner vi m\u00e4nniskor.<\/p>\n

Men man drabbas av en tomhet liksom n\u00e4r man sl\u00e4pper n\u00e5got och s\u00e4ger att det \u00e4r “klart”. I alla fall jag. En tomhet som jag m\u00f6ter med mollst\u00e4mning. Inte s\u00e5 att jag sitter h\u00e4r och gr\u00e5ter, men lite deppigt blir det liksom. Samma sak med en klar skiva. Man jobbar som ett svin och sen \u00e4r man f\u00e4rdig och liksom m\u00e5ste anv\u00e4nda allt man har f\u00f6r bromsl\u00e4get. Det \u00e4r kanske d\u00e4rifr\u00e5n mollst\u00e4mningen kommer. Men det \u00e4r v\u00e4l i det h\u00e4r l\u00e4get man skall vara ett g\u00e4ng gubbar som g\u00e5r ut p\u00e5 krogen efter v\u00e4l f\u00f6rr\u00e4ttat v\u00e4rv och l\u00e4mnar kortet i kassan f\u00f6r dryckesslag. Men som o-cool gubbe f\u00f6r sig sj\u00e4lv i Lo[o]s s\u00e5 f\u00e5r det allts\u00e5 bli en p\u00e5se bullar. Ja inte \u00e4r det ju som att sl\u00e5 klackarna i taket, men \u00e4nd\u00e5, alltid n\u00e5got.<\/p>\n

Imorgon \u00e4r allt som vanligt igen och l\u00e5tsasjobbet p\u00e5 ett l\u00e5tsaskontor vid ett riktigt skrivbord fortg\u00e5r som om inget har h\u00e4nt. Det \u00e4r s\u00e5 det fungerar. Det \u00e4r som den d\u00e4r Konsum\u00e5ttan. Det finns inga m\u00e5l.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Det \u00e4r bara fem grader ute. Svart. Desperat blommande citrontr\u00e4d m\u00e5ste r\u00e4ddas snart. Sj\u00e4lv sitter jag inne och skickar stora filer till USA. D\u00e4rifr\u00e5n f\u00e5r de g\u00e5 ut till de andra. V\u00e4nner och s\u00e5dana jag inte k\u00e4nner, de flesta p\u00e5 platser jag inte heller k\u00e4nner och inte kommer att bes\u00f6ka. Ljuset har brunnit h\u00e4r p\u00e5 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":29948,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=29948","url_meta":{"origin":9885,"position":0},"title":"Void och psykologer eller tv\u00e4rtom","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-09-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Ni vet psykologer. F\u00f6rr. N\u00e4r man oskyldigt fr\u00e5gade n\u00e5gon Vad jobbar du med d\u00e5? Och hen svarar Jag \u00e4r Psykolog. Den d\u00e4r festen blev sig liksom inte likt efter att man fick reda p\u00e5 det d\u00e4r. Konstigt nog var det f\u00f6rresten oftast p\u00e5 fester man tr\u00e4ffade dem. Ja kan vara\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180531_105331319.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180531_105331319.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180531_105331319.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180531_105331319.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180531_105331319.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180531_105331319.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9460,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=9460","url_meta":{"origin":9885,"position":1},"title":"En hund sk\u00e4ller p\u00e5 andra sidan.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-09-09","format":false,"excerpt":"En hund sk\u00e4ller p\u00e5 andra sidan dalg\u00e5ngen. Ett av ljuden som h\u00f6r till\u00a0 Lo[o]s. Utan det s\u00e5 skulle jag inte vara s\u00e5 s\u00e4ker p\u00e5 att det \u00e4r just h\u00e4r som jag vaknar upp p\u00e5 morgonen och det innan jag ens sl\u00e5r upp \u00f6gonen. F\u00f6nstret \u00e4r \u00f6ppet, har varit det hela\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"sover","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/sover.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/sover.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/sover.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/sover.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/sover.jpg?resize=1050%2C600 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/sover.jpg?resize=1400%2C800 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11415,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=11415","url_meta":{"origin":9885,"position":2},"title":"Det som inte h\u00f6rs","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-12-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag smyger in p\u00e5 systemet i Edsbyn. Skall ha tv\u00e5 flaskor snaps fr\u00e5n Teve Destilleri (http:\/\/www.tevsjodestilleri.se\/). H\u00e4lsingland n\u00e4r det \u00e4r som b\u00e4st finns numera ocks\u00e5 tappat p\u00e5 flaska. Ser ingen jag inte ens anar att jag kanske k\u00e4nner s\u00e5 jag lugnar ner mig och hinner ut innan n\u00e5gon ropar \"Tjena\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"grogglasen_large (1)","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/grogglasen_large-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":22264,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=22264","url_meta":{"origin":9885,"position":3},"title":"Begravning","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-11-24","format":false,"excerpt":"Imorgon begravning. Ovan\u00e5ker. Barndomens kyrka. En farbror, den siste, skall tas farv\u00e4l av. Nittio\u00e5tta \u00e5r blev han, stark som en oxe in i det sista. Saknad s\u00e5klart. Men han fick ett l\u00e5ngt liv. Ett l\u00e4ngre liv \u00e4n de flesta f\u00e5r leva. Det var inte s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge sedan jag var p\u00e5\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"ovanakers-kyrka-platsid_241","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Ovan%C3%A5kers-kyrka-platsId_241-1024x682.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Ovan%C3%A5kers-kyrka-platsId_241-1024x682.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Ovan%C3%A5kers-kyrka-platsId_241-1024x682.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9589,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=9589","url_meta":{"origin":9885,"position":4},"title":"S\u00e5 har ingenj\u00f6rer det.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-09-10","format":false,"excerpt":"Att g\u00f6ra n\u00e5got klart \u00e4r ett HELVETE! \u00c4nd\u00e5 har jag gjort det s\u00e5 m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger f\u00f6rr. Suttit d\u00e4r med blocket med punkter bredvid mig som skall med \"innan det \u00e4r klart\". Listan som stundom f\u00e5r fler rader och stundom faktiskt minskar i antal rader. Man har en deadline, men om\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"jackieat_1","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/jackieat_1-764x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/jackieat_1-764x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/jackieat_1-764x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":42715,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42715","url_meta":{"origin":9885,"position":5},"title":"Sorgen och jag","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-09-08","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Serkan G\u00f6ktay on Pexels.com Jag m\u00f6ter Sorgen ibland n\u00e4r jag \u00e4r ute och g\u00e5r p\u00e5 en av mina morgonpromenader (t\u00f6rg\u00e5r). Sorgen och jag nickar alltid mot varandra n\u00e4r vi m\u00f6ts. En snabb kram efter det att vi insett att v\u00e5ra leenden inte riktigt n\u00e5r \u00e4nda upp till \u00f6gonen\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"person wearing grey and orange hoodie sitting on brown wooden park bench during daytime","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-66757.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-66757.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-66757.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-66757.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-66757.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-2zr","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9885","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9885"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9885\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26154,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9885\/revisions\/26154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}