{"id":48762,"date":"2024-11-28T22:18:23","date_gmt":"2024-11-28T21:18:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=48762"},"modified":"2024-11-28T22:18:23","modified_gmt":"2024-11-28T21:18:23","slug":"tamefan-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=48762","title":{"rendered":"Tamefan"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Jod\u00e5. Tamefan har jag n\u00e4stan inte tagit mig igenom den h\u00e4r dagen ocks\u00e5. N\u00e5gon timme till s\u00e5… \u00e5tminstone en, ja s\u00e5 att man kan kalla det ett dagsverke. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men i morse. Misstr\u00f6stan. All den d\u00e4r tvekan rasar \u00f6ver en och tar en i besittning. \u00c4r det n\u00e5gon ide? N\u00e5gon ide att h\u00e5lla p\u00e5 med n\u00e5gonting \u00f6ver huvud taget? Finns man ens? N\u00e4mn en anledning att man skall “jobba<\/em>” vidare? Det kr\u00e4vs tre hallonmazariner f\u00f6r att komma till en punkt n\u00e4r man tycker att man kan h\u00e5lla p\u00e5 \u00e4nd\u00e5. Lite kaffe p\u00e5 det och man skiter i alla tvivel p\u00e5 sig sj\u00e4lv i ren och sk\u00e4r koffeinf\u00f6rgiftning. Dra \u00e5t helvet<\/strong> liksom och den d\u00e4r som sitter d\u00e4r p\u00e5 h\u00f6geraxeln och rapar ur sig sanningar man inte vill h\u00f6ra kryper ner p\u00e5 golvet och f\u00f6rsvinner in i ett h\u00e5l d\u00e4r han h\u00f6r hemma. Ja d\u00e4r han kan stanna f\u00f6r evig om jag f\u00e5r best\u00e4mma. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu s\u00e5h\u00e4r vid tio \u00e4r v\u00e4l inte sj\u00e4lvf\u00f6rtoendet p\u00e5 topp. Men programmeringen fungerar i alla fall. D\u00e4ri finns min flykt. Fungerar inte det s\u00e5 g\u00e5r det alltid att ta till “studion<\/em>“. L\u00e4ngre ner har jag aldrig kommit i mina depressioner. N\u00e4sta steg \u00e4r v\u00e4l skogspromenader antar jag. Eller s\u00e4ngen efter det. Men som sagt, d\u00e4r har jag aldrig varit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c4nnu<\/strong>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Till och med lillkatten v\u00e4nder ryggen mot mig idag. Det \u00e4r inte ofta det h\u00e4nder. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men det k\u00e4nns lite b\u00e4ttre nu allts\u00e5. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mitt problem genom hela livet har varit att jag aldrig f\u00e5tt folk med mig. Har jag g\u00e5tt \u00e5t h\u00f6ger s\u00e5 har alla andra g\u00e5tt \u00e5t v\u00e4nster. Ja och \u00e4r man sen j\u00e4vligt envis – och det \u00e4r jag – s\u00e5 v\u00e4nder man inte och f\u00f6ljer efter de andra utan forts\u00e4tter \u00e5t sitt h\u00e5ll. J\u00e4vligt dumt jag vet. Blir ensamt att vandra efter egna v\u00e4gar. Men man l\u00e4r sig att leva med den man \u00e4r. En del personer tycker folk om, andra tycks inte om. Gissa till vilken kategori jag h\u00f6r?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Efter fyrtio ungef\u00e4r \u00e4r s\u00e5dant d\u00e4r n\u00e5got uth\u00e4rdligt. Efter sextio \u00e4r det n\u00e4stan som om alla blir osynliga. Ingen lyssnar p\u00e5 n\u00e5gon som \u00e4r \u00f6ver sextio i alla fall om man nu inte \u00e4r k\u00e4nd kriminolog och vet b\u00e4sta om allt och \u00e4r favorittomte och favoritgranne och rikast i hela v\u00e4rlden och lika skrytig som Mr Trump.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men som sagt en timme till s\u00e5. Imorgon skall jag h\u00e4mta bilen p\u00e5 serviceverkstaden. Antagligen \u00e4r den vanliga hybrisen tillbaks ocks\u00e5 fram\u00e5t eftermiddagen. Annars f\u00e5r man v\u00e4l k\u00f6pa fler hallonmazariner och kurera sig med kolhydrater.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jod\u00e5. Tamefan har jag n\u00e4stan inte tagit mig igenom den h\u00e4r dagen ocks\u00e5. N\u00e5gon timme till s\u00e5… \u00e5tminstone en, ja s\u00e5 att man kan kalla det ett dagsverke. Men i morse. Misstr\u00f6stan. All den d\u00e4r tvekan rasar \u00f6ver en och tar en i besittning. \u00c4r det n\u00e5gon ide? N\u00e5gon ide att h\u00e5lla p\u00e5 med n\u00e5gonting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17531,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17531","url_meta":{"origin":48762,"position":0},"title":"En ny morgon","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-04-14","format":false,"excerpt":"En ny morgon. Man kan ta den f\u00f6r given eller inte. Jag har aldrig tagit en ny dag f\u00f6r given. Att jag kan stiga upp, att jag kan \u00f6ppna \u00f6gonen, att m\u00f6jligheter att uppt\u00e4cka nytt finns kvar. Inte ens mina bl\u00e5aste \u00f6gonblick kan \u00e4ndra p\u00e5 det, de som gr\u00e4nsar till\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"BohrPAR2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/BohrPAR2.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/BohrPAR2.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/BohrPAR2.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":25289,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=25289","url_meta":{"origin":48762,"position":1},"title":"Man borde l\u00e4ra sig lyssna","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-09-06","format":false,"excerpt":"Man har ett l\u00f6jligt liv s\u00e5klart. Hur l\u00f6jligt kan ett liv bli? J\u00e4vligt l\u00f6jligt faktiskt. Ja och det \u00e4r innan man tittar p\u00e5 en enda statistik-nuffra, eller saldon, de siffror som m\u00e4ter framg\u00e5ngen i det man g\u00f6r. 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Det finns liksom\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"blue and white abstract painting","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-1802268.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-1802268.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-1802268.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-1802268.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18543,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18543","url_meta":{"origin":48762,"position":5},"title":"Mot himlen f\u00f6r helvete","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-09-06","format":false,"excerpt":"Nog fasiken n\u00e5r den toppen i \u00e5r humlen. Kanske m\u00f6ter den han\/hon\/det\/gud d\u00e4r uppe. 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