{"id":47989,"date":"2024-06-23T15:49:36","date_gmt":"2024-06-23T14:49:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=47989"},"modified":"2024-06-23T15:49:36","modified_gmt":"2024-06-23T14:49:36","slug":"sommarkullen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=47989","title":{"rendered":"Sommarkullen"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo by Freddie Ramm on Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

I min v\u00e4rld. Ja d\u00e4r b\u00f6rjar arbetsdagen p\u00e5 s\u00f6ndag eftermiddag. Det \u00e4r bara s\u00e5. Fast en eftergift s\u00e5klart. F\u00f6rr b\u00f6rjade den nog vid s\u00f6ndagslunch. Ja och l\u00f6rdagar var ocks\u00e5 arbetsdagar. Semester skall vi inte tala om. Fast annorlunda nu f\u00f6r tiden allts\u00e5. Man tar det lugnt. Ser rent av fram emot de fyra veckors semester som v\u00e4ntar efter den h\u00e4r veckan. K s\u00e4ger att det gjorde jag i fjol ocks\u00e5. Vilket allts\u00e5 betyder att det h\u00e4r lugnare tempot h\u00e5ller p\u00e5 att bli en vana. K\u00e4nns bra det ocks\u00e5. Man \u00e4r \u00e4nd\u00e5 en gammal gubbe numera. M\u00e5ste anpassa sig mot ett n\u00e4rmande mot en evig vila.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Midsommar \u00e4r fint. Vi firar ensamma K och jag. Som vanligt. Grillar, tar det lugnt. Dricker lite vin. \u00c4ter jordgubbst\u00e5rta. L\u00e4ser. Kollar in n\u00e5gon serie. Njuter av livet. Mer beh\u00f6vs v\u00e4l egentligen inte. Barnen har sitt liv. V\u00e4nnerna har jag jobbat bort. Vi, katterna och kullen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r m\u00e4rkligt tyst i Los under midsommaren. Normalt brukar maskiner och fordon av olika slag h\u00f6ras. Det brukar vara skr\u00e5l fr\u00e5n fester. Liv. Men i \u00e5r n\u00e4stan bara tystnaden. En koltrast g\u00f6ra n\u00e5gra f\u00f6rs\u00f6k men kommer inte riktigt ig\u00e5ng. P\u00e5 natten kokoar en g\u00f6k utanf\u00f6r sovrumsf\u00f6nstret. Annars den stora tystnad allts\u00e5. Men sk\u00f6nt p\u00e5 n\u00e5got s\u00e4tt ocks\u00e5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kullen \u00e4r r\u00e4ddningen. Den \u00e4r liksom solit\u00e4r i sig sj\u00e4lv. Tittar man p\u00e5 mina sociala medier s\u00e5 ser man inga Losbor som f\u00f6ljare. Jag k\u00e4nner ingen h\u00e4r. Absolut ingen. \u00c4nd\u00e5 hejar man p\u00e5 alla s\u00e5klart. K\u00e4nner igen. Men s\u00e5klart inte samma sak som att k\u00e4nna. En del tror kanske att de k\u00e4nner mig ocks\u00e5. \u00c4nd\u00e5 m\u00e5r jag r\u00e4tt gott h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen som solit\u00e4ren. Som en f\u00e5nge i ett fort har jag anpassat mig efter +30 \u00e5r. Fast l\u00e4ngtar bort h\u00e4rifr\u00e5n varje dag s\u00e5klart. Men vet ju att den k\u00e4nslan, den skulle vara detsamma ocks\u00e5 vart \u00e4n bort den skulle f\u00f6ra mig, om jag nu fullf\u00f6ljde den tanken, packade och gav mig iv\u00e4g. Mitt hem \u00e4r inte p\u00e5 jorden. Man skulle kunna g\u00f6ra n\u00e5got religi\u00f6st av det. Eller om man var UFO fantast n\u00e5got \u00e4nnu mer spektakul\u00e4rt. Men det \u00e4r nog enklare \u00e4n s\u00e5. En of\u00f6rm\u00e5ga att komma till ro bara. Aldrig hemma eller alltid hemma fast borta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det finns s\u00e5klart en sorg i det solit\u00e4ra. Bl\u00e5 toner och en k\u00e4rlek till mollackord. S\u00e5g en film med en dansk familj i helgen d\u00e4r alla \u00e4lskade varandra och umgicks s\u00e5d\u00e4r sj\u00e4lvklart som man vill att det skall vara. Inga konstigheter. Alla bara \u00e4r och tycker om varandra. Men s\u00e5klart. S\u00e5dana familjer finns antagligen bara p\u00e5 film. I verkligheten finns det alltid saker som skaver mellan m\u00e4nniskor. F\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar speciellt \u00e4r v\u00e4l roten till allt ont. Psykoterapins k\u00e4pph\u00e4st nummer ett. Sj\u00e4lv har jag insett att jag kan \u00e4lska minnet av mina f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar fast dom kanske inte var perfekta i allt. R\u00e4tt enkelt egentligen eftersom ingen \u00e4r perfekt. Varf\u00f6r skulle ens f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar d\u00e5 vara det. De flesta bara f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker s\u00e5 gott de kan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man kan hata. Jag har en bror som fick barn med en tjej n\u00e4r han var mycket ung. Jag var v\u00e4l tio eller s\u00e5. Jord och himmel uppr\u00f6rdes hemma s\u00e5klart. Skandal i ett medelklasshem i en liten by. Man blir p\u00e5verkad ett helt liv av det d\u00e4r eftersom man inte f\u00f6rst\u00e5r allt som tio\u00e5ring. S\u00e5 mycket som kunde bli h\u00e4rligt blir f\u00f6rst\u00f6rt av det d\u00e4r under en ungdom. S\u00e5 man kan v\u00e4lja att hata sin brorsa. Fast hur or\u00e4ttvist vore inte nu det? Det enda han gjort var att ha en k\u00e4rleksstund med en flicka och sen gick det som det gick. F\u00f6rhoppningsvis hade de trevligt. Saker h\u00e4nder. Man p\u00e5verkas. Att hata n\u00e5gon som inte kan vara skyldig, vad skulle det leda? Vilken tr\u00f6st och vilket bort skulle man f\u00e5 av det. Skit h\u00e4nder i ens liv. Man blir p\u00e5verkad av det. M\u00e5ste f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka leva p\u00e5 \u00e4nd\u00e5 s\u00e5 gott det g\u00e5r. Kompensera p\u00e5 andra st\u00e4llen f\u00f6r det som g\u00e5r f\u00f6rlorat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu en vecka kvar till semester. Det \u00e4r K’s semester egentligen men jag h\u00e4nger p\u00e5. Pension\u00e4rsanpassar mig. Men f\u00f6rst skall jag koda klart en del grejer. T\u00e4nkte mig egentligen en f\u00f6rsta Beta-release innan semestern. Men det kommer inte att g\u00e5. Det f\u00e5r bli till h\u00f6sten ist\u00e4llet. Ett nederlag. Men nederlag har man ju haft n\u00e5gra nu s\u00e5 ett till kan v\u00e4l bara ses som f\u00f6rsumbart n\u00e4r det adderas till den samlade m\u00e4ngden. S\u00e5 OK allts\u00e5. Jag knappar p\u00e5*<\/strong> tills det \u00e4r \u00f6ver. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I min v\u00e4rld. Ja d\u00e4r b\u00f6rjar arbetsdagen p\u00e5 s\u00f6ndag eftermiddag. Det \u00e4r bara s\u00e5. Fast en eftergift s\u00e5klart. F\u00f6rr b\u00f6rjade den nog vid s\u00f6ndagslunch. Ja och l\u00f6rdagar var ocks\u00e5 arbetsdagar. Semester skall vi inte tala om. Fast annorlunda nu f\u00f6r tiden allts\u00e5. Man tar det lugnt. Ser rent av fram emot de fyra veckors semester […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":35281,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35281","url_meta":{"origin":47989,"position":0},"title":"P\u00e5 l\u00e5tsas","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-06-18","format":false,"excerpt":"Midsommarafton imorgon. Men just nu sitter jag h\u00e4r fortfarande p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsaskontoret och l\u00e5tsasjobbar. Jod\u00e5 - tanken \u00e4r att vara ledig sen fram till s\u00f6ndagskv\u00e4ll. Har blivit b\u00e4ttre p\u00e5 det d\u00e4r faktiskt. F\u00f6rr var det v\u00e4ldigt lite \"off-tid\". Fast saker var ju inte lika mycket p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsas heller under den tiden\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-18-23-00-42.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-18-23-00-42.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-18-23-00-42.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-18-23-00-42.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-18-23-00-42.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-18-23-00-42.png?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":35449,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35449","url_meta":{"origin":47989,"position":1},"title":"S\u00e5…","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-07-03","format":false,"excerpt":"S\u00e5... en halvtimme ifr\u00e5n semester. Hemska tanke. Jo p\u00e5 riktigt. Fast... Det \u00e4r n\u00e4r man k\u00e4nner just s\u00e5 som det \u00e4r dags att bryta. S\u00e5 \u00e4r det bara. S\u00e5 semester f\u00e5r det bli. Fyra veckor med sm\u00e4rre avbrott f\u00f6r ett och annat. Kanske. Eller inte. Kanske bara musik. Fast det\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Screenshot-from-2020-07-03-18-13-41.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Screenshot-from-2020-07-03-18-13-41.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Screenshot-from-2020-07-03-18-13-41.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Screenshot-from-2020-07-03-18-13-41.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Screenshot-from-2020-07-03-18-13-41.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Screenshot-from-2020-07-03-18-13-41.png?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":48116,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=48116","url_meta":{"origin":47989,"position":2},"title":"N\u00e4ra nog","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2024-07-25","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Riccardo on Pexels.com Johod\u00e5. Torsdag. Imorgon fredag och den sista semesterdagen. N\u00e5ja tv\u00e5 dagar till. Men helg + penion\u00e4rstillvaro \u00e4r inte semester utan n\u00e5got annat mystiskt. Om du fr\u00e5gar mig allts\u00e5. Evig semester \u00e4r det v\u00e4l egentligen. Friherretillvaro. Inte s\u00e5 dumt. R\u00e4tt bra. OK. Finemang. Supertillvaro. Fast m\u00e5ste\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"rear view of man sitting on rock by sea","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/pexels-photo-307008.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/pexels-photo-307008.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/pexels-photo-307008.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/pexels-photo-307008.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/pexels-photo-307008.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/pexels-photo-307008.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":50039,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=50039","url_meta":{"origin":47989,"position":3},"title":"“KOM HIT!”","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2025-07-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by FWStudio on Pexels.com Semester fr\u00e5n allt. Utom lite renovering. Fast renovering \u00e4r semester det ocks\u00e5. I alla fall f\u00f6r mig. Jag antar att en snickare eller m\u00e5lare eller VVS mont\u00f6r kan programmera och l\u00f6da p\u00e5 sin och liksom jag tycka det \u00e4r semester. Olika \u00e4r det. Alltid och\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"brown wooden floor","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/pexels-photo-172292.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/pexels-photo-172292.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/pexels-photo-172292.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/pexels-photo-172292.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/pexels-photo-172292.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/pexels-photo-172292.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":49943,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=49943","url_meta":{"origin":47989,"position":4},"title":"Sigh","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2025-06-26","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Sam Kolder on Pexels.com Lyssnar p\u00e5 sommar och f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker f\u00e5 klart ALLT innan semestern. N\u00e5ja, \"allt\" kanske \u00e4r att ta i. 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G\u00e5r bort lite tid n\u00e4sta\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"ake","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/ake.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/ake.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/ake.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-cu1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=47989"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47989\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47991,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47989\/revisions\/47991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=47989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=47989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=47989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}