{"id":43317,"date":"2022-11-10T08:10:03","date_gmt":"2022-11-10T07:10:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=43317"},"modified":"2022-11-10T08:10:03","modified_gmt":"2022-11-10T07:10:03","slug":"inte-fullmane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=43317","title":{"rendered":"Inte fullm\u00e5ne"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"photo
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

K fyller inte j\u00e4mt f\u00f6rr\u00e4n n\u00e4sta vecka men har redan b\u00f6rjat sl\u00e4pa hem kassar med presenter. Jag k\u00e4nner att jag m\u00e5ste b\u00f6rja erbjuda hugade presentl\u00e4mnare mina tj\u00e4nster. Beh\u00f6vs det k\u00f6rkort f\u00f6r att framf\u00f6ra presenten eller om den \u00e4r tung och det beh\u00f6vs b\u00e4rhj\u00e4lp s\u00e5 st\u00e4ller jag g\u00e4rna upp vid f\u00f6rfr\u00e5gan…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mins bilden p\u00e5 K’s pappa n\u00e4r han fyllde sextio. Han sitter d\u00e4r stolt och allvarlig i finstolen med ett hav av blommor omkring sig. F\u00e5r f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka \u00f6vertala K att ta en likadan bild n\u00e4sta helg. H\u00e5lla sl\u00e4kttraditionerna vid liv s\u00e5 gott man kan skall man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fullm\u00e5ne. Fast det var i f\u00f6rrg\u00e5r p\u00e5 riktigt. H\u00e5ller liksom i sig. H\u00e4nger som en str\u00e5lkastare d\u00e4r p\u00e5 himlen. Lyser rakt in genom sovrumsf\u00f6nster och s\u00f6ker ens sj\u00e4l. Planterar m\u00e5ngalenskap hos den som inte har alla h\u00e4star hemma. Min \u00e4r allts\u00e5 i farozonen. Jag ligger d\u00e4r n\u00e5n timme och begrundar detta utan att k\u00e4mpa emot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Idag kod f\u00f6r hela slanten. Inne i det d\u00e4r tillst\u00e5ndet d\u00e5 det b\u00f6rjar koppla. Blir alltid lite nerv\u00f6s av det d\u00e4r andra mellantillst\u00e5ndet. Antagligen handlar det om att hj\u00e4rnan har nog med att koppla ihop den d\u00e4r informationen och inte har ork att lugna mitt oroade sinne. Fast det h\u00e4r tillst\u00e5ndet \u00e4lskar jag. Fast det \u00e4r s\u00e5klart bara flykt. Bort fr\u00e5n tankar som kan ta d\u00e5liga v\u00e4gar. N\u00e4r man \u00e4r h\u00e4r finns det liksom inte rum f\u00f6r annat \u00e4n det man sysslar med. All d\u00e5lig sj\u00e4lvk\u00e4nsla f\u00e5r stiga \u00e5t sidan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just det d\u00e4r med sj\u00e4lvf\u00f6rtroende och sj\u00e4lvk\u00e4nsla, att det \u00e4r tv\u00e5 olika saker, \u00e4r viktigt att ta till sig. Man kan ha utm\u00e4rkt sj\u00e4lvf\u00f6rtroende men inte tro sig sj\u00e4lv om en enda liten po\u00e4ng \u00e4nd\u00e5. B\u00e4st s\u00e5klart om de f\u00f6ljer varandra. Sj\u00e4lv har jag massor av sj\u00e4lvf\u00f6rtroende. Fast inte ett fullt glas med sj\u00e4lvk\u00e4nsla.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men lever g\u00f6r man. En dag till. Hittar telefonen p\u00e5 hatthyllan n\u00e4r jag kommer ner till kontoret och precis skall till att placera morgonflinet mitt i ansiktet. Har inte saknat den. Men gl\u00e4d \u00e5t \u00e4nnu ett flin. Det \u00e4r h\u00e4r jag vill vara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu \u00e4r K nerskjutsad till sitt. Det beh\u00f6vdes inget skrapande av rutor idag heller (\u00e4ven om det var n\u00e4ra). Tekokaren fr\u00e5n Erikshj\u00e4lpen \u00e4r fylld med vatten och p\u00e5slagen. Sm\u00e5f\u00e5glarna har f\u00e5tt lite p\u00e5fyllning av havregryn indr\u00e4nkt i \u00f6verbliven frityrolja. Dom \u00e4lskar det! Letar s\u00e4ck med havregryn att k\u00f6pa. Bulk. Tv\u00e5kilosp\u00e5sar f\u00f6rsl\u00e5r inte l\u00e4nge \u00e5t v\u00e5ra v\u00e4nner h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen. Vi f\u00e5r se hur det blir med solrosfr\u00f6n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

David Bowie fyller h\u00f6gtalarna h\u00e4r nu. Jag k\u00e4nner mig redo. Tror jag. En dag man f\u00e5tt. Som man gl\u00e4ds \u00e5t. Det \u00e4r bara att k\u00f6ra.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

K fyller inte j\u00e4mt f\u00f6rr\u00e4n n\u00e4sta vecka men har redan b\u00f6rjat sl\u00e4pa hem kassar med presenter. Jag k\u00e4nner att jag m\u00e5ste b\u00f6rja erbjuda hugade presentl\u00e4mnare mina tj\u00e4nster. Beh\u00f6vs det k\u00f6rkort f\u00f6r att framf\u00f6ra presenten eller om den \u00e4r tung och det beh\u00f6vs b\u00e4rhj\u00e4lp s\u00e5 st\u00e4ller jag g\u00e4rna upp vid f\u00f6rfr\u00e5gan… Mins bilden p\u00e5 K’s pappa […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13593,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13593","url_meta":{"origin":43317,"position":0},"title":"Maskera och maskera tills man bara ser ett av de d\u00e4r str\u00e5na","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-06-17","format":false,"excerpt":"Elton ringer, han har nyss best\u00e4mt sig f\u00f6r att komma \u00f6ver till midsommar. Helikopter till fotbollsplanen och h\u00e4mtning i v\u00e5r gamla r\u00f6da Renault brukar fungera. Exotiskt f\u00f6r gamla rockstj\u00e4rnor det d\u00e4r att \u00e5ka i en ost\u00e4dad gammal bil som borde f\u00e5tt kamremmen (och en hel del annat) bytt f\u00f6r m\u00e5nga\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"P7239240","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/P7239240.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/P7239240.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/P7239240.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/P7239240.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7857,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=7857","url_meta":{"origin":43317,"position":1},"title":"Jag m\u00f6tte Lassie","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-07-06","format":false,"excerpt":"Det knackar p\u00e5 d\u00f6rren. Det \u00e4r Jesus. K\u00e4nns lite ov\u00e4ntat s\u00e5d\u00e4r. Men har man bott i ett gult hus p\u00e5 en kulle i Lo[o]s n\u00e5gra \u00e5r s\u00e5 blir man inte f\u00f6rv\u00e5nad. Man s\u00e4ger helt enkelt \"Hej\" och ber honom stiga in. Forts\u00e4tter med \"S\u00e5 du \u00e4r ute och g\u00e5r? Vill\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"images","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/images.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14340,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=14340","url_meta":{"origin":43317,"position":2},"title":"Singing in the rain","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-08-10","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r bra. Det \u00e4r bra. Det \u00e4r bra. Nej, de \u00e4r det inte, det beh\u00f6vs nog en, nej, kanske tv\u00e5, Alvedon \u00e4nd\u00e5 f\u00f6r att klara av den d\u00e4r konserten. Eller inte, Skit i det. Stoppar en karta i fickan f\u00f6r s\u00e4kerhetsskull. Dragspelaren beh\u00f6ver hj\u00e4lp med att starta gr\u00e4sklipparen. Jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_20140809_173045","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_20140809_173045-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_20140809_173045-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_20140809_173045-1024x768.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":21223,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=21223","url_meta":{"origin":43317,"position":3},"title":"Jesus","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-08-11","format":false,"excerpt":"Det knackar p\u00e5 d\u00f6rren. Det \u00e4r Jesus. K\u00e4nns lite ov\u00e4ntat s\u00e5d\u00e4r. Men har man bott i ett gult hus p\u00e5 en kulle i Lo(o)s n\u00e5gra \u00e5r s\u00e5 blir man inte f\u00f6rv\u00e5nad. Man s\u00e4ger helt enkelt \"Hej\" och ber honom stiga in. Forts\u00e4tter med \"S\u00e5 du \u00e4r ute och g\u00e5r? Vill\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"jesus-christ","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/jesus-christ.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/jesus-christ.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/jesus-christ.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/jesus-christ.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13986,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13986","url_meta":{"origin":43317,"position":4},"title":"“V\u00e4rlden \u00e4r dessutom stor och farlig.”","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-07-15","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag vaknar vid fyratiden i natt och kan inte somna om. Ibland \u00e4r det bara s\u00e5. Man bara ligger d\u00e4r och ju mer man f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker att somna om desto l\u00e4ngre ifr\u00e5n just det d\u00e4r att somna \u00e4r man snart. \u00a0Men fram\u00e5t sextiden s\u00e5 somnar jag \u00e4nd\u00e5 in till slut. Jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"jorden","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/jorden.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":32808,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=32808","url_meta":{"origin":43317,"position":5},"title":"Ho ho hi","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2019-08-19","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r blad p\u00e5 tr\u00e4den. Skolorna b\u00f6rjar. Blommor blommar. Getingarna \u00e4r glada. Inte sura och d\u00f6ende. Centraleuropa har semester. Det \u00e4r mycket sommar kvar. Den m\u00e5 kallas sensommar den h\u00e4r tiden p\u00e5 \u00e5ret. Men nog \u00e4r det gotid fortfarande d\u00e4r ute. Inte kan man komma ifr\u00e5n det. Har vi tur\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/IMG_20190819_181713676.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/IMG_20190819_181713676.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/IMG_20190819_181713676.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/IMG_20190819_181713676.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/IMG_20190819_181713676.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/IMG_20190819_181713676.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-bgF","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43317","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=43317"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43317\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43319,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43317\/revisions\/43319"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=43317"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=43317"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=43317"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}