{"id":42462,"date":"2022-08-09T09:04:23","date_gmt":"2022-08-09T08:04:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42462"},"modified":"2022-08-09T09:04:23","modified_gmt":"2022-08-09T08:04:23","slug":"pensionar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42462","title":{"rendered":"Pension\u00e4r"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Jag f\u00e5r PRO merv\u00e4rde i inboxen. En ren f\u00f6rol\u00e4mpning. Pension\u00e4rssm\u00f6rja. Fast r\u00e4tt s\u00e5klart. Man m\u00e5ste g\u00e5 samman om man skall f\u00e5 n\u00e5got gjort. Svagheten f\u00f6ljer det solit\u00e4ra. Men… vad\u00e5… jag pension\u00e4r? Icke liksom. Inte ens n\u00e4r det vankas rabatter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00e5rda lungor h\u00e4r p\u00e5 morgonen. Sv\u00e5randat. \u00c4r det d\u00f6den? fr\u00e5gar jag mig s\u00e5klart n\u00e4r jag vaknar kallsvettig i natt. Man \u00e4r \u00e4nd\u00e5 en teatralisk fan. T\u00e4nker hj\u00e4rtattack. Ja och m\u00e5ste g\u00e5 igenom det d\u00e4r med att man inte vill st\u00f6ra sjukv\u00e5rden s\u00e5d\u00e4r p\u00e5 natten ens om det skulle bli allvarligare. Man f\u00e5r v\u00e4nta tills det \u00e4r normala \u00f6ppettider. Ta bilen, inte ambulansen. Inte br\u00e5ka. Inte synas f\u00f6r mycket. Tv\u00e5 g\u00e5nger har jag r\u00e5kat ut f\u00f6r r\u00e5sk\u00e4llande sjuksk\u00f6terska pga av det. Men \u00e4n k\u00e4nns det inte som det beh\u00f6vs i n\u00e5got avseende. Fr\u00f6ken Alvedon lindrar. I alla fall skapligt. Tillr\u00e4ckligt f\u00f6r att jag skall somna om i natt och nu h\u00e4r p\u00e5 morgonen \u00e4r bara br\u00f6stont och tr\u00f6ttheten kvar. D\u00f6ds\u00e5ngest gl\u00f6md och flinad \u00e5t. Allts\u00e5 jobbar man. Knappar p\u00e5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men identiteten. Att VARA<\/strong> pension\u00e4r. Sv\u00e5rt. Jo l\u00e4tt n\u00e4r man checkar in de olika pensionfl\u00f6dena p\u00e5 kontot. Men i annat? Hur kunde det h\u00e4nda liksom<\/strong>. Tr\u00e4d som \u00e4r stora men var sm\u00e5 n\u00e4r man sj\u00e4lv var ung och rynkiga, tunnh\u00e5riga kamrater fr\u00e5n f\u00f6rr, \u00e4r de enda tecken jag har som p\u00e5minner. M\u00f6jligen ocks\u00e5 allt ont i kroppen. I \u00f6vrigt \u00e4r det ingen skillnad. Nope. I alla fall inte p\u00e5 annat s\u00e4tt \u00e4n att jag p\u00e5 m\u00e5nga plan har den b\u00e4sta tiden i mitt liv just nu. Jod\u00e5. Det har h\u00e4nt i tidigare decennier ocks\u00e5. Under m\u00e5nga av dom. De flesta. Min b\u00e4sta tid \u00e4r nu. Det mesta av ungdomstiden or\u00e4knad. Handlar lite om inst\u00e4llningen att leva sitt liv ocks\u00e5. Men enklare att leva \u00e4n det \u00e4r just nu det har det i alla fall aldrig varit i mitt liv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men tar en selfie till det h\u00e4r inl\u00e4gget. Ja och kan man se mer pension\u00e4rsaktig ut \u00e4n jag g\u00f6r? Icke! Man har verkligen v\u00e4xt i epitetet “ocool gubbe<\/em>“. Det framg\u00e5r med all \u00f6nskv\u00e4rd tydlighet. Man beh\u00f6ver bara sl\u00e5 av alla filter och se verkligheten som den \u00e4r. Kan jag leva med det? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00e4nskorna \u00e4r l\u00e5ngt borta. Den n\u00e4rmaste \u00e4r v\u00e4l popstj\u00e4rnan Ljungstr\u00f6m som ringer ibland och uppdaterar mig om det lokala musiklivet. Kamrat T som fyller p\u00e5 med sitt fr\u00e5n fabriken d\u00e4r jag sj\u00e4lv kunde st\u00e5tt kvar. De flesta andra jag “pratar<\/em>” med finns p\u00e5 s\u00e4krare avst\u00e5nd. Minst ett hav finns det mellan dom och mig f\u00f6r var och en. Socialt inl\u00e5st och fastsp\u00e4nd p\u00e5 en kulle i ett Gult Hus \u00e4r man. Skriker man h\u00f6gt “l\u00e4mna mig i fred<\/em>” finns s\u00e5klart inget annat att v\u00e4nta. Och vet du vad? Jag trivs med det d\u00e4r. I alla fall om jag f\u00e5r se andra m\u00e4nniskor och kan f\u00e5 ge mig p\u00e5 att l\u00e4sa deras tankar och \u00f6den d\u00e5 och d\u00e5 under n\u00e5gra enkla dagar under ett \u00e5r d\u00e5 jag ger mig ut i verkligheten. D\u00e5 n\u00e4r jag \u00f6ppnar upp f\u00f6r intryck. Ser. Tar in. Innan jag kryper tillbaks upp p\u00e5 min kulle och blir solit\u00e4ren igen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tekoppen st\u00e5r och hoppar h\u00e4r bredvid mig. Vill bli urdrucken. Kr\u00e4ver det. N\u00e5got att ta tag i. Jag har en hel sommars sommarprogram att lyssna ikapp. Har bara avverkat tre. Det \u00e4r en skam. F\u00f6r jag har \u00e4lskat den d\u00e4r serien under alla \u00e5r. Tage D’s barn. Men inte det heller \u00e4r som f\u00f6rr. Den d\u00e4r riktiga k\u00e4nslan som Tage letade kommer s\u00e4llan riktigt fram l\u00e4ngre. Det blir g\u00e4rna el\u00e4nde. El\u00e4nde \u00e4r tydligen det enda som skapar k\u00e4nslor hos folk numera. Det glada och lyckliga skapar ist\u00e4llet aggressioner och avundsjuka. M\u00e4nniskan… Mer avskyv\u00e4rd f\u00f6r varje generation. Men ocks\u00e5 fascinerande i sin anpassningsbarhet och uppfinningsrikedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nej det var inte b\u00e4ttre f\u00f6rr. Bara annorlunda. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jag f\u00e5r PRO merv\u00e4rde i inboxen. En ren f\u00f6rol\u00e4mpning. Pension\u00e4rssm\u00f6rja. Fast r\u00e4tt s\u00e5klart. Man m\u00e5ste g\u00e5 samman om man skall f\u00e5 n\u00e5got gjort. Svagheten f\u00f6ljer det solit\u00e4ra. Men… vad\u00e5… jag pension\u00e4r? Icke liksom. Inte ens n\u00e4r det vankas rabatter. H\u00e5rda lungor h\u00e4r p\u00e5 morgonen. Sv\u00e5randat. \u00c4r det d\u00f6den? fr\u00e5gar jag mig s\u00e5klart n\u00e4r jag vaknar […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-42462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-swedish"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40299,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40299","url_meta":{"origin":42462,"position":0},"title":"Gubbar.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2021-11-15","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by ?ahin Sezer Din\u00e7er on Pexels.com En gubbe lyckas jag mota bort. Eller snarare l\u00e4gga p\u00e5 hold. En veckas andningspaus. Men en annan gubbe tar glupskt en timme av mitt liv. Det kan inte hj\u00e4lpas. Alla dessa timmer som l\u00e4ggs p\u00e5 att lyssna p\u00e5 gubbars prat. Eftersom man ramlar\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42695,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42695","url_meta":{"origin":42462,"position":1},"title":"Jaha hja hja hja…","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-09-06","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by crisdip on Pexels.com Det jobbas. Fast jag \u00e4r allt lite kn\u00f6ven. G\u00e5r s\u00e5klart inte s\u00e4ga halt f\u00f6r den sakens skull. Man m\u00e5ste fram\u00e5t. S\u00e5 l\u00e4nge man kan st\u00e5 upp. Hoppla gubbe. N\u00e4r jag precis rest mig upp och skall g\u00e5 och fatta l\u00f6dkolven s\u00e5 ringer popstj\u00e4rnan. Nope, svarar\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"close up photo of clownfish","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-128756.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-128756.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-128756.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-128756.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-128756.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-128756.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":43190,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=43190","url_meta":{"origin":42462,"position":2},"title":"R\u00f6k","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-10-28","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Tetyana Kovyrina on Pexels.com L\u00f6dr\u00f6ken anfaller. H\u00e4nger tungt i lokalen. Idag kommer den b\u00e5de fr\u00e5n ugn och handl\u00f6dning. Nyttigt? Nej! L\u00e4ser att de flesta som jobbar med l\u00f6dning utvecklar astma till slut. Olika grader. Hur dumt \u00e4r inte det? M\u00e5ste fixa den d\u00e4r fl\u00e4kten. 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Den faller\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191108_075654300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191108_075654300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191108_075654300.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191108_075654300.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191108_075654300.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191108_075654300.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":51759,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=51759","url_meta":{"origin":42462,"position":4},"title":"Feg","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2026-04-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Mao Li on Pexels.com Bolln\u00e4s idag d\u00e5 p\u00e5 f\u00f6rmiddagen. 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