{"id":42351,"date":"2022-07-29T17:34:14","date_gmt":"2022-07-29T16:34:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42351"},"modified":"2022-07-29T17:34:14","modified_gmt":"2022-07-29T16:34:14","slug":"fin-byst","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42351","title":{"rendered":"Fin byst"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

No, nej, tjohej, har knappt kommit ut ur bilen \u00e4nnu. V\u00e4gar lever jag p\u00e5. Som en v\u00e4gluffare. Som en som \u00e4r p\u00e5 v\u00e4g men aldrig n\u00e5r fram. M\u00e5ste bromsa. Men p\u00e5 s\u00f6ndag efter arton \u00e4r semestern slut. Skulle l\u00e4tt kunna haft en vecka till. S\u00e4ger allt om tillst\u00e5ndet hos mig och i mitt huvud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

‘<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En kl\u00e4nningsutst\u00e4llning \u00e4r kanske inte min grej. Men jag l\u00e4r mig hur man f\u00e5r en fin byst och h\u00e5ller den uppe. Fj\u00e4drar anv\u00e4nds d\u00e4r dom beh\u00f6vs. All l\u00e4rdom \u00e4r av godo. Mig lurar ingen l\u00e4ngre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men havet. L\u00e5ngt bort. F\u00f6r l\u00e5ngt bort. K\u00e4nner inte ens doften.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hudikkalas. Tanterna kan njuta av Engmans kapell en stund i natten och gl\u00f6mma tr\u00e5kig gubbe. Sj\u00e4lv \u00e4r jag en s\u00e5 jag stannar hemma. Veronica och dom andra n\u00e5r inte mitt hj\u00e4rta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast Storsj\u00f6yra. Nu ocks\u00e5. D\u00e4r finns det lite att se. Men dyrt. N\u00e5gon m\u00e5tta f\u00e5r det \u00e4nd\u00e5 bara p\u00e5 semesterspenderandet. Spara f\u00f6rst spendera sen har alltid varit m\u00e5ttot h\u00e4r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Om farsan hade levt s\u00e5 skulle han ha blivit 100 \u00e5r imorgon. T\u00e4nka sig. Men nu lever han inte. Det \u00e4r allts\u00e5 trettio \u00e5r sedan han dog. “T\u00e4nka sig<\/em>” igen. Om man nu hade levt. Ja, mallig hade han varit. Ja och oj s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge sedan det var fast det k\u00e4nns som nyss. D\u00e5 blev jag s\u00e5 f\u00f6rv\u00e5nad att v\u00e4rlden bara kunde g\u00e5 vidare runt den bubbla man befann sig i. Sedan dess har s\u00e5 m\u00e5nga andra runt omkring en d\u00f6tt. Och med det n\u00e5r man l\u00e4rdomen \u00e4r att den enda g\u00e5ng v\u00e4rlden runt en slutar att r\u00f6ra sig vidare \u00e4r n\u00e4r man sj\u00e4lv \u00e4r d\u00f6d. Ja och d\u00e5 bara f\u00f6r att man inte finns med d\u00e4r l\u00e4ngre. Det mesta annat \u00e4r precis som vanligt. Man \u00e4r ersatt p\u00e5 en nanosekund av n\u00e5gon annan. Som det fungerar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bada borde man v\u00e4l ha gjort den h\u00e4r sommaren. Men det g\u00f6r man inte. Men trettio dagar sommar kvar av de hundra man f\u00e5r. Finns tid. Det \u00e4r inte alltid det g\u00f6r det. S\u00e5 positivt. Men man m\u00e5ste utnyttja den s\u00e5klart. Sj\u00e4lv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K lovar pizza idag. Gott s\u00e4ger jag. G\u00e5r alltid i. Fast egentligen borde jag v\u00e4l n\u00f6jt mig med sallad. N\u00e5got slags f\u00f6rs\u00f6k att korta livet det d\u00e4r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skavs\u00e5r pl\u00e5gar mig fortfarande. Semstertrampandet. Men hej och h\u00e5 vad l\u00e4tt det \u00e4r att leva med s\u00e5 sm\u00e5 pl\u00e5gor. Come an bara… Jag skrattar \u00e5t dom allesammans. Jag har varit med f\u00f6rr serru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TV har det tittats p\u00e5 s\u00e5 att jag knappt vill se \u00e5t en TV apparat mer. Men sant, en och annan bra film och serie har g\u00e5tt v\u00e5r v\u00e4g. Men blir mindre f\u00f6r\u00f6ver. N\u00e4r man \u00e4r i de gamla hjulsp\u00e5ren igen. I det avseendet s\u00e5 skall det bli sk\u00f6nt att komma ig\u00e5ng. Har tusen avsnitt av sommar att h\u00e4mta igen ocks\u00e5. G\u00e5r det ens…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En wifi-modul ramlar in p\u00e5 min v\u00e4g. Ny leverant\u00f6r. Prover. Kod skall skrivas. Ser fram emot det. Tv\u00e5 s\u00e5dana att leka med f\u00f6r\u00f6ver. VSCP.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men helg h\u00e4rifr\u00e5n. Egentligen bara helt vanlig helg. Ut p\u00e5 v\u00e4garna imorgon ocks\u00e5. Yngsten skall leta cykel i Kn\u00e5da. Man st\u00e4ller upp. Vi beser v\u00e4l v\u00e4rlden i samma veva. Den som utg\u00f6r min del av den. Havet fortfarande f\u00f6r l\u00e5ngt bort. Hmmmmm…. lukten av ruttnande t\u00e5ng saknas mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Val snart. Jag \u00e4r nog socialdemokrat i \u00e5r igen. Mest i brist p\u00e5 b\u00e4ttre. Det var l\u00e4nge sedan dom l\u00e4mnade idealen bakom sig dom ocks\u00e5. Politik \u00e4r mest smuts som hindrar en att se klart genom annars perfekta f\u00f6nster. Tyv\u00e4rr.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00e5 helg. Vilat har man redan gjort. Helg i alla fall. Serru.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No, nej, tjohej, har knappt kommit ut ur bilen \u00e4nnu. V\u00e4gar lever jag p\u00e5. Som en v\u00e4gluffare. Som en som \u00e4r p\u00e5 v\u00e4g men aldrig n\u00e5r fram. M\u00e5ste bromsa. Men p\u00e5 s\u00f6ndag efter arton \u00e4r semestern slut. Skulle l\u00e4tt kunna haft en vecka till. S\u00e4ger allt om tillst\u00e5ndet hos mig och i mitt huvud. ‘ […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-42351","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-swedish"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12861,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=12861","url_meta":{"origin":42351,"position":0},"title":"De f\u00f6rlorades land","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-04-16","format":false,"excerpt":"En till familj drar h\u00e4rifr\u00e5n i sommar. Ett till f\u00f6retag f\u00f6rsvinner. Tyv\u00e4rr ocks\u00e5 den enda familjen som vi h\u00e4r i huset har n\u00e5got man kan kalla kontakt med. Dom hitflyttade precis som vi. Ja att kunna dra iv\u00e4g... De \u00e4r att gratulera de som lyckas. Det \u00e4r en vinst p\u00e5\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"feeling_too_tall.png.625x385_q100","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/feeling_too_tall.png.625x385_q100.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/feeling_too_tall.png.625x385_q100.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/feeling_too_tall.png.625x385_q100.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15335,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=15335","url_meta":{"origin":42351,"position":1},"title":"Gud hj\u00e4lpe oss svaga f\u00f6r \u00e4nnu en vinter.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-11-16","format":false,"excerpt":"Att vila \u00e4r sk\u00f6nt. I alla fall om man har en god bok. Och det \u00e4r helt klart en s\u00e5dan jag har. Man vaknar, \u00e4ter frukost, dricker te, plockar fram boken, \u00e5ker ner i soffan, l\u00e4ser tills man slumrar in. Vaknar, s\u00e4tter p\u00e5 kaffe, sjunker ner i soffan, l\u00e4ser tills\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"i18476","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/i18476.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/i18476.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/i18476.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19143,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=19143","url_meta":{"origin":42351,"position":2},"title":"Att klippa sig i tid","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-12-04","format":false,"excerpt":"G\u00e4vle. Nian. Torsdag. En a-lagare hejar glatt.\u00a0 Han l\u00e5ngt h\u00e5r, sliten. Jag, l\u00e5ngt h\u00e5r, sliten. Samma. N\u00e4ra. S\u00e5klart. Jag har inget emot det. Inget alls faktiskt. Men det \u00e4r dags att klippa sig.\u00a0 Jag vill g\u00e4rna vara \"the underdog\" men det skall finnas proportioner ocks\u00e5 p\u00e5 det. B\u00f6rjar man sj\u00e4lv\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41198,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=41198","url_meta":{"origin":42351,"position":3},"title":"Br\u00e5kigt, fast inte p\u00e5 kullen","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-02-02","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com Chips h\u00f6r l\u00f6rdagar till. Absolut. Men kan inte h\u00e5lla mig. Det finns lite chips kvar i en p\u00e5se. Moffar i mig. F\u00e5r d\u00e5ligt samvete. Kan lika g\u00e4rna ta lite glass... Eller var det omv\u00e4nt? Sk\u00e4ms f\u00f6r min brist p\u00e5 karakt\u00e4r. Verkligen. Men det \u00e4r\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"person holding yellow and pink lego blocks","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-298825.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-298825.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-298825.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-298825.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20234,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20234","url_meta":{"origin":42351,"position":4},"title":"Pollen och araber som inte finns.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-04-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Det sn\u00f6ar s\u00e5d\u00e4r h\u00f6staktigt ute. Men det \u00e4r s\u00e5klart v\u00e5r. Men det k\u00e4nns som h\u00f6st. Som om skitvintern l\u00e5g framf\u00f6r en. Tunna flingor far genom luften som segrarens konfetti. JAG FRYSER! S\u00e5klart g\u00f6r jag det. Plus tv\u00e5 grader. Kan man d\u00e5 annat g\u00f6ra \u00e4n att frysa. Trots plus tjugotv\u00e5 inne.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Misc_pollen_colorized","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Misc_pollen_colorized-1024x780.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Misc_pollen_colorized-1024x780.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Misc_pollen_colorized-1024x780.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17358,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17358","url_meta":{"origin":42351,"position":5},"title":"Pallar","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-04-06","format":false,"excerpt":"Vi b\u00e4r in par i pallar pellets K och jag. K bangar aldrig. Hennes b\u00e4sta egenskap. En del kvinnor \u00e4r s\u00e5 r\u00e4dda om naglar och frisyrer s\u00e5 att de inget \u00e4r att ha. Andra g\u00f6r det som kr\u00e4vs och g\u00f6r det b\u00e4sta av det. Respekt till de senare inte till\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"001","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/001-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/001-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/001-768x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-b15","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42351","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=42351"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42351\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42353,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42351\/revisions\/42353"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=42351"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=42351"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=42351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}