{"id":40274,"date":"2021-11-12T16:26:28","date_gmt":"2021-11-12T15:26:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40274"},"modified":"2021-11-12T16:26:28","modified_gmt":"2021-11-12T15:26:28","slug":"i-ingentingens-varld","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40274","title":{"rendered":"I ingentingens v\u00e4rld"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"dirty
Photo by Capped X on Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u00c4nnu en dag i “ingentingens” tid. Det \u00e4r saker hela dagen. Jag kommer aldrig in i “\u00c5kes v\u00e4rld<\/em>“. Men tar det med ro. Flyttar f\u00f6rhoppningarna fram mot n\u00e4sta vecka. Inget att g\u00f6ra \u00e5t. Egentligen kan man v\u00e4l kalla det h\u00e4r helg redan. Trappa ner som om man var en lortig gr\u00e4vmaskin vid dagens slut. Suck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast saker n\u00e4sta vecka ocks\u00e5. Pension\u00e4rssaker. Vaccination mot \u00e5rsinfluensa. S\u00e5dant vi gamlingar f\u00e5r. Gratis. Fantastiska samh\u00e4lle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast klockan \u00e4r bara fyra \u00e4nnu. Man kan knappast vandra upp f\u00f6r trappen upp mot gr\u00f6n IKEA-soffa nu p\u00e5 st\u00f6rt med bibeh\u00e5llet samvete. Man f\u00e5r allts\u00e5 sitta av lite tid. Kanske till och med f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka jobba lite. S\u00e5 d\u00e4r lite oinspirerat s\u00e5 att det vore b\u00e4ttre att man inte gjorde n\u00e5got alls. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gammal v\u00e4n ringer. Det blir mest prat om sjukdomar och \u00e4lgjakt. Lite som om man redan satt p\u00e5 \u00e5lderdomshemmet. \u00c4ttestupan verkar t\u00e4mligen lockande i och efter det, mer s\u00e5 varje dag och efter varje m\u00f6te med stigande \u00e5lder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast man har det bra h\u00e4r nu. Varmt och sk\u00f6nt. Inget finns att oroa sig f\u00f6r i n\u00e5gon st\u00f6rre omfattning. Visserligen \u00e4r det snart besiktning av bilen. Pulsh\u00f6jare. Men det l\u00e4r v\u00e4l ordna sig det med. P\u00e5 n\u00e5got s\u00e4tt brukar det g\u00f6ra det till slut. L\u00e4ttar det d\u00e4r ocks\u00e5 just nu. F\u00f6rr kunde man bli p\u00e5verkad ett halv\u00e5r av f\u00f6r m\u00e5nga anm\u00e4rkningar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast det g\u00e4ller s\u00e5klart att inte v\u00e4nja sig f\u00f6r mycket vid en underbar tillvaro. Inte s\u00e5 mycket att man slutar att uppskatta det underbara. Jag vill varje morgon vakna och vara glad f\u00f6r att jag f\u00e5r m\u00f6jligheten att g\u00f6ra det. S\u00e5 ofta som det g\u00e5r vill jag ocks\u00e5 vandra in h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kontoret och starta ig\u00e5ng alla grejer med Den godaste av k\u00e4nslor i magen. N\u00e4stan eufori \u00e4r det d\u00e4r varje morgon \u00f6ver att ha den ynnesten. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bortsk\u00e4md s\u00e5klart. M\u00f6jligen aningens f\u00f6rl\u00e5ten eftersom jag inser det. \u00c5 andra sidan \u00e4r det os\u00e4kert om jag ens existerar. Men s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge min icke existens inneb\u00e4r upplevandet av den d\u00e4r gok\u00e4nslan i tillvaron s\u00e5 l\u00e5ter jag mig n\u00f6jas. Skamligt vore det v\u00e4l annars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pension\u00e4r allts\u00e5. Sv\u00e5rt att ta till sig. Inget i mitt inre har n\u00e5gon k\u00e4nning \u00e5t det h\u00e5llet. Noll<\/strong>. Zip<\/em>. Men s\u00e5 \u00e4r det s\u00e5klart med det ocoola\/coola ocks\u00e5. K\u00e4nner mig nog r\u00e4tt cool inuti. Men det \u00e4r ju annat d\u00e5 s\u00e5klart om man se mig utifr\u00e5n. Det f\u00f6rst\u00e5r ju jag ocks\u00e5 . Ocool<\/em> st\u00e5r skrivet \u00f6ver hela mig. Ja och nu antagligen pension\u00e4r ocks\u00e5 d\u00e5. Man f\u00e5r leva med det. Anpassa sig. Fast inuti kan den falska bilden av sig sj\u00e4lv g\u00e4rna leva kvar ett tag till f\u00f6r min del. En sj\u00e4lvl\u00f6gn att \u00f6verleva med.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dricker kaffe som en tant. F\u00f6r mycket. Ofta. Med kaka. Inte bra. On\u00f6digt. Men gott. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men allts\u00e5. Det h\u00e4r blev en vecka som vindarna tog tag i och som inte blev just mer \u00e4n komprimerad luft. Om ens det. Inget konstigt med det heller. Vissa veckor \u00e4r bara s\u00e5dana. Livet har serverat \u00e5tskilliga. Man f\u00e5r h\u00e4nga med, parera, och forts\u00e4tta fram\u00e5t n\u00e4r en v\u00e4g \u00e5terigen \u00f6ppnas i den fram\u00e5tg\u00e5ende riktningen. Eller ge upp. Tycka det \u00e4r nog nu<\/em>. Somna. Aldrig vakna igen. Fast fegt. F\u00f6r fegt. Det d\u00e4r. Klart man m\u00e5ste leva, k\u00e4mpa, segra. Eller \u00e5tminstone leva. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tv\u00e5 timmar kodande till d\u00e5 kanske. Men kanske helg f\u00f6r er andra. Hoppas hur som helst att den blir till en alldeles utm\u00e4rkt helg f\u00f6r er allesammans. Fast s\u00e5klart. S\u00e5h\u00e4r innan den b\u00f6rjat s\u00e5 \u00e4r den ju det i allara h\u00f6gsta grad. Allt \u00e4r b\u00e4st f\u00f6re. Eller hur? Sen n\u00e4r man \u00e4r d\u00e4r s\u00e5 blir det ungef\u00e4r som vanligt. Inte d\u00e5ligt men lite “jaha<\/em>!?”. D\u00e5 f\u00e5r man b\u00f6rja l\u00e4ngta till n\u00e4sta h\u00f6jdpunkt. B\u00e4ttre det \u00e4n att inte l\u00e4ngta alls s\u00e5klart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ha en trevlig helg!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00c4nnu en dag i “ingentingens” tid. Det \u00e4r saker hela dagen. Jag kommer aldrig in i “\u00c5kes v\u00e4rld“. Men tar det med ro. Flyttar f\u00f6rhoppningarna fram mot n\u00e4sta vecka. Inget att g\u00f6ra \u00e5t. Egentligen kan man v\u00e4l kalla det h\u00e4r helg redan. Trappa ner som om man var en lortig gr\u00e4vmaskin vid dagens slut. Suck. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40274","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":46574,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=46574","url_meta":{"origin":40274,"position":0},"title":"Den sista dagen","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2023-11-24","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Ethan Brooke on Pexels.com Snart dags att st\u00e4nga butiken. Ja och jo och javisst, fast det inte l\u00e4ngre finns n\u00e5gon butik. Men helg. Man har \u00f6verlevt en Black Friday till. Gissar att Cyber Monday st\u00e5r p\u00e5 tur och har v\u00e4xt till sig till Cyber week. Fall p\u00e5 kn\u00e4\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"assorted color signages","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-photo-2128042.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-photo-2128042.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-photo-2128042.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-photo-2128042.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":42846,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42846","url_meta":{"origin":40274,"position":1},"title":"Nope och nej och tjohej","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-09-25","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com Det blir helt enkelt inte s\u00e5 mycket gjort den h\u00e4r helgen heller. Man f\u00e5r planera f\u00f6r n\u00e4sta. Hoppas p\u00e5 mer energi i kroppen finnes tills dess. F\u00f6r det finns att g\u00f6ra. Saker som m\u00e5ste g\u00f6ras, ordans, fixas. Innan minusgraderna. Helst Men h\u00f6stdagj\u00e4mningen gjorde sitt. Det\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"text on chalkboard","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-3825295.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-3825295.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-3825295.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pexels-photo-3825295.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":28966,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=28966","url_meta":{"origin":40274,"position":2},"title":"N\u00e4sta vecka","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-06-15","format":false,"excerpt":"Halsbr\u00e4nna. Det \u00e4r s\u00e5 dagen b\u00f6rjar. Det var l\u00e4nge sedan jag hade just halsbr\u00e4nna. Fullst\u00e4ndigt oklart varf\u00f6r just denna morgon. Men Samarin. F\u00f6ljt av kaffe. Sen. Ingen halsbr\u00e4nna. Vilken av produkterna som hj\u00e4lpte l\u00e5ter jag vara osagt. Att \u00e5ka l\u00e5ngt bort k\u00e4nns lockande. L\u00e5ngt bort. D\u00e4r det finns hav. Hur\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/IMG_0303-e1528890902887-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/IMG_0303-e1528890902887-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/IMG_0303-e1528890902887-768x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":50109,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=50109","url_meta":{"origin":40274,"position":3},"title":"1","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2025-08-08","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Josh Hild on Pexels.com Vecka ett efter semester snart avklarad. Jod\u00e5. Det g\u00e5r. Fast programmerande har det inte blivit. Mest f\u00f6rs\u00f6k att f\u00e5 till saker s\u00e5 att man kan ge sig h\u00e4n \u00e5t just det. OK som f\u00f6rsta vecka. Imorgon renovering igen. M\u00f6jligen ocks\u00e5 gr\u00e4sklippning. Beror lite p\u00e5\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"person standing at the edge of building at night","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/pexels-photo-3216084.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/pexels-photo-3216084.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/pexels-photo-3216084.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/pexels-photo-3216084.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":42341,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42341","url_meta":{"origin":40274,"position":4},"title":"Hemma","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-07-26","format":false,"excerpt":"Tjock farbror under korkek i munkanlagd tr\u00e4dg\u00e5rd M\u00e5ndag \u00e4r den stora vilan. Vi intar en varsin del av soffan och reser oss knappt d\u00e4rifr\u00e5n under hela dagen. Semester \u00e4r tydligen inget f\u00f6r amat\u00f6rer. Helt slut \u00e4r det p\u00e5 alla energi som fanns innan resan. Ork == noll. B\u00e4ttre idag dock.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/IMG_20220721_105656-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/IMG_20220721_105656-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/IMG_20220721_105656-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/IMG_20220721_105656-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/IMG_20220721_105656-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/IMG_20220721_105656-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20395,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20395","url_meta":{"origin":40274,"position":5},"title":"“\u00c5ke, det \u00e4r din lyckodag!”","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-05-16","format":false,"excerpt":"MrAuto utropar \"\u00c5ke, det \u00e4r din lyckodag!\" Ja sj\u00e4lv k\u00e4nner jag inte riktigt s\u00e5 denna m\u00e5ndagsmorgon. Jag\u00a0k\u00e4nner att jag n\u00e5tt v\u00e4gs \u00e4nde. Att man inte orkar mer. Det \u00e4r inte konstigt. \u00a0De som k\u00e4nnet mitt liv vet det. Jag har k\u00e4mpat. Ingen kan s\u00e4ga annat. Jo de kan flera s\u00e4kert\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Screenshot from 2016-05-16 08:40:39","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Screenshot-from-2016-05-16-084039-1024x486.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Screenshot-from-2016-05-16-084039-1024x486.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Screenshot-from-2016-05-16-084039-1024x486.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-atA","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40274","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=40274"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40274\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40276,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40274\/revisions\/40276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=40274"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=40274"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=40274"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}