{"id":37140,"date":"2020-12-13T21:19:13","date_gmt":"2020-12-13T20:19:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=37140"},"modified":"2020-12-16T11:03:34","modified_gmt":"2020-12-16T10:03:34","slug":"im-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=37140","title":{"rendered":"I’m back"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"bare
Photo by Elly Fairytale on Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Tillbaks i stolen igen. Den som en stor del av mitt liv levs i. Visst, det l\u00e5ter r\u00e4tt deprimerande det d\u00e4r. Men som den livstidsd\u00f6mde vant sig vid sin f\u00e4ngelsecell s\u00e5 har jag vant mig vid min stol. Sitter bra h\u00e4r. V\u00e4rlden m\u00e5 vara n\u00e5gon annanstans. L\u00e5t den snurra p\u00e5 s\u00e5 sitter jag h\u00e4r och p\u00e5 sin h\u00f6jd anar att det \u00e4r s\u00e5…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men m\u00e5ste konstatera att helgen g\u00e5tt alldeles f\u00f6r fort. Jag skull beh\u00f6vt tv\u00e5 dagar off till. Men f\u00e5r ju s\u00e5klart inte det. L\u00e5tsasarbetet m\u00e5ste fortg\u00e5. Om det i sig \u00e4r off<\/em> eller on<\/em> g\u00e5r v\u00e4l att diskutera s\u00e5klart. De som g\u00f6r lite s\u00e4ger “off<\/em>“, de som g\u00f6r mycket s\u00e4ger “on<\/em>“. Jag s\u00e4ger – mycket fegt – ingenting, s\u00e5 har jag inget sagt. Som vanligt tar jag den feges inte helt hedersamma utv\u00e4g.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det har st\u00e4dats h\u00e4r hela helgen. Inga l\u00e5nga sl\u00f6hetsmaraton har f\u00f6retagits. Men den som g\u00f6r<\/em> n\u00e5r till slut f\u00e4rdigt. D\u00e4r i den insikten, och v\u00e4l framme d\u00e4r, kan man till\u00e5ta sig att njuta. Lite sm\u00e5st\u00e4dande bara nu sen n\u00e4r vi n\u00e4rmar oss det d\u00e4r r\u00f6da. Och det skall v\u00e4l g\u00e5. Ja det tror jag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e4sta helg skall jag tametusan s\u00e4tta mig i studion och f\u00e5 till en l\u00e5t. I alla fall efter att trappen har blivit skurad. Det f\u00e5r bli min julklapp till mig sj\u00e4lv detta \u00e5r. En skapligt hel dag i studion. Sicken lyx.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En del m\u00e4nniskor beh\u00f6ver bara s\u00e4ga “h\u00f6 h\u00f6” s\u00e5 g\u00e5r allt deras v\u00e4g och f\u00f6ljare och beundrare st\u00e4ller sig p\u00e5 k\u00f6. Andra beh\u00f6ver bara ta av sig skjortan s\u00e5 d\u00e5nar alla v\u00e4rldens kvinnor (och ett inte helt l\u00e4ttr\u00e4knat antal m\u00e4n). Det \u00e4r l\u00e4tt att hata de d\u00e4r m\u00e4nniskorna f\u00f6r det d\u00e4r. Eller avundsjukt titta p\u00e5. S\u00e5d\u00e4r fungerar det i Los och i resten av v\u00e4rlden. Faktiskt. Jag ser ner p\u00e5 dem som d\u00e5nar. Fy fan f\u00f6r den typen av ytliga m\u00e4nniskor. Och s\u00e5 uppt\u00e4cker man att \u00e4r v\u00e4rlden full av dom. Ja det h\u00e4nder v\u00e4l det d\u00e4r efter tjugo n\u00e5gonstans. Man kan bygga en koja l\u00e5ngt ute i skogen, fly l\u00e5ngt bort fr\u00e5n alltsammans f\u00f6r mindre. Definitivt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mitt uppdrag under den h\u00e4r veckan \u00e4r att ta mig till en plat\u00e5 d\u00e4r jag lugnt och stilla kan st\u00e5 under sj\u00e4lva julledigheten utan att on\u00f6diga tankar skall fara omkring d\u00e4r i huvudet.Det \u00e4r inte s\u00e5 l\u00e4tt. F\u00f6r varje tanke i min hj\u00e4rna f\u00f6der alltid n\u00e5gra till som bygger p\u00e5 den f\u00f6rra (n\u00e4 jag p\u00e5st\u00e5r inte att de varken \u00e4r originella eller intelligenta de d\u00e4r tankarna). S\u00e5 plat\u00e5erna st\u00e5r s\u00e4llan d\u00e4r och v\u00e4ntar som sk\u00f6na oaser l\u00e4ngs kl\u00e4tterv\u00e4garna. Man f\u00e5r leta sig en klippskreva som b\u00e4st. Kila fast sig s\u00e5 att man sitter n\u00e5gots\u00e5n\u00e4r s\u00e4kert d\u00e4r och sen f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka gl\u00f6mma att man befinner sig tv\u00e5tusen meter \u00f6ver marker n\u00e4r man sl\u00e4pper iv\u00e4g tankarna p\u00e5 andra mer l\u00e4ttsamma sp\u00e5r. Har blivit b\u00e4ttre p\u00e5 det d\u00e4r med \u00e5ren. Tror att jag m\u00e5r bra av det.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men det skall bli sk\u00f6nt med jul. Dagar av ledighet. Julmust. Gott att \u00e4ta. Som en l\u00e5ng fredagskv\u00e4ll \u00e4r det allts\u00e5. Ja, jag kommer s\u00e4kert att somna i den gr\u00f6na IKEA soffan n\u00e5gra g\u00e5nger ocks\u00e5. Otroligt vore det annars, eftersom jag alltid gjort det alla \u00e5r hittills. Speciellt under Kalle Anka d\u00e5 s\u00e5klart, som i min \u00e5lder \u00e4r synnerligen s\u00f6vande tabl\u00e5tv. Jag vet att jag inte \u00e4r ensam om det heller. Man \u00e4r aldrig s\u00e5 unik som m\u00e4nniska som man tror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men h\u00e4r debuggas det. Och debuggandet skall forts\u00e4tta. En del av l\u00e5tsasarbete och ett liv n\u00e4r man som jag sitter p\u00e5 en stol och ser v\u00e4rlden snurra runt, runt, runt, runt, runt utan att utst\u00f6ta ett enda h\u00f6, h\u00f6, h\u00f6…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tillbaks i stolen igen. Den som en stor del av mitt liv levs i. Visst, det l\u00e5ter r\u00e4tt deprimerande det d\u00e4r. Men som den livstidsd\u00f6mde vant sig vid sin f\u00e4ngelsecell s\u00e5 har jag vant mig vid min stol. Sitter bra h\u00e4r. V\u00e4rlden m\u00e5 vara n\u00e5gon annanstans. L\u00e5t den snurra p\u00e5 s\u00e5 sitter jag h\u00e4r och […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":23888,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=23888","url_meta":{"origin":37140,"position":0},"title":"F\u00f6rst och bortkommen","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-03-28","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag brukar inte vara k\u00e4nslig f\u00f6r de h\u00e4r omst\u00e4llningarna av klockan vid vintertid och sommartid men i morse vaknar jag pigg vid sex, klockan \u00e4r satt p\u00e5 sju, men somna om det g\u00e5r det inte. Men skit samma. Man l\u00e5ter dagen komma. Eftersom man nu fick \u00e4nnu en. Glad \u00f6ver\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20170328_100920-1024x576.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20170328_100920-1024x576.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20170328_100920-1024x576.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11153,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=11153","url_meta":{"origin":37140,"position":1},"title":"En Tyrannosaurus i rosa fj\u00e4derdr\u00e4kt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-11-25","format":false,"excerpt":"I evolutionens gryning var de dinosaurier, Tyranosarius Rex vill jag tro, domherrarna som sitter i bj\u00f6rken utanf\u00f6r sovrumsf\u00f6nster. L\u00e4ngst upp i toppen sitter de. Ett tjugotal. V\u00e4ntar p\u00e5 sin tid vid fr\u00f6automaten. Det \u00e4r Brontosurus eller Taloxarnas tid d\u00e4r nu och mattiderna f\u00f6r olika arter \u00e4r h\u00e5rt styrda. Nu precis\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Tyrannosaurus-Rex-001","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Tyrannosaurus-Rex-001.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24962,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24962","url_meta":{"origin":37140,"position":2},"title":"Gott liv","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-07-29","format":false,"excerpt":"Livet \u00e4r gott. Jordgubbst\u00e5rta idag. Den som egentligen skulle vara midsommart\u00e5rta. Men vafan, man kan v\u00e4l fira sommaren en s\u00e5dan h\u00e4r dag lika v\u00e4l som en midsommaraftonsdag. Beh\u00f6ver jag till\u00e4gga att jag \u00e4lskar t\u00e5rta. Nehepp, ingen \u00e4r v\u00e4l f\u00f6rv\u00e5nad \u00f6ver den saken... Livet g\u00e5r vidare fast man inte g\u00f6r speciellt\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_3441_webb.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_3441_webb.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_3441_webb.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/IMG_3441_webb.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":34608,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=34608","url_meta":{"origin":37140,"position":3},"title":"Sl\u00e4pper mig","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-03-04","format":false,"excerpt":"Sl\u00e4pper lite grejer. Release-iver. Till vilken nytta vet bara han\/hon\/det\/gud och en och annan dj\u00e4vul. Eller n\u00e5gon annan f\u00f6r mig ok\u00e4nd. Eller ingen. Borde kanske sl\u00e4ppa musik ist\u00e4llet. Har en l\u00e5t halvv\u00e4gs ute liksom. Men kanske lika bra att l\u00e5ta bli. Men det kan jag s\u00e5klart inte i l\u00e4ngden. G\u00f6dselspridare.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/mode-red-contrib-canal.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":34452,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=34452","url_meta":{"origin":37140,"position":4},"title":"Gubbar","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-02-12","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r gubbarna och jag, d\u00e4r p\u00e5 gubbhyllan p\u00e5 Coop,.. n\u00e4\u00e4\u00e4\u00e4.... v\u00e4nta nu... Det \u00e4r VI gubbar p\u00e5 gubbhyllan p\u00e5 Coop i Ljusdal. Jag t\u00e4nker S E M L A n\u00e4r jag g\u00e5r f\u00f6r att best\u00e4lla min kaffe. Suget finns d\u00e4r. Men jag har bara trettio sp\u00e4nn och semla med\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8042,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=8042","url_meta":{"origin":37140,"position":5},"title":"Eken","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-07-21","format":false,"excerpt":"N\u00e4r v\u00e5ra barnbarn gl\u00f6mt oss \u00e4r vi inte ens kvar som fragment i tiden. Om man nu har haft n\u00e5gra barnbarn, annars kommer gl\u00f6mskan redan med barnen. Jag t\u00e4nker p\u00e5 det n\u00e4r jag ser eken d\u00e4r vid stenen i v\u00e5r tr\u00e4dg\u00e5rd. Den vi satte ner i sommarvarm mull f\u00f6r nu\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_20130721_114726","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/IMG_20130721_114726-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/IMG_20130721_114726-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/IMG_20130721_114726-768x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-9F2","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37140"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37179,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37140\/revisions\/37179"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}