{"id":37052,"date":"2020-12-06T23:54:02","date_gmt":"2020-12-06T22:54:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=37052"},"modified":"2020-12-06T23:54:02","modified_gmt":"2020-12-06T22:54:02","slug":"sinnesro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=37052","title":{"rendered":"Sinnesro"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

S\u00f6ndag. En ny vecka har redan b\u00f6rjat h\u00e4r. Knappar mot m\u00e5let att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka n\u00e5 sinnesro \u00f6ver jul just f\u00f6r tillf\u00e4llet. K\u00f6rt hela helgen. Det enda s\u00e4ttet att komma till det d\u00e4r rofyllda tillst\u00e5ndet \u00e4r att knappa p\u00e5 s\u00e5 att man n\u00e5r n\u00e5gon slags plat\u00e5 d\u00e4r mest tr\u00e5kigt rutinarbete \u00e5terst\u00e5r. S\u00e5dana plat\u00e5er finns det gott om. Dom som inneh\u00e5ller manualskrivande, tester och s\u00e5dan d\u00e4r i min v\u00e4rld. Alla sysslor har v\u00e4l en h\u00f6g s\u00e5dant d\u00e4r. F\u00f6rfattare har t.ex. sitt korrekturl\u00e4sande och r\u00e4ttande. N\u00e5r man inte fram till en s\u00e5dan d\u00e4r plat\u00e5 slutar det aldrig att snurra av ideer i huvudet, det spelar ingen roll hur mycket gl\u00f6gg och pepparkakor man \u00e4n stoppar i sig. S\u00e5 h\u00e4r sitter jag. Full fart. L\u00e5tsasjobb. Men en del knapptryckningar i alla fall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men tr\u00f6tt. Tr\u00f6ttheten har liksom slagit l\u00e4ger i mig. Gonat in sig. Blivit hyresg\u00e4st. Gissar att det handlar om m\u00f6rker. Att man f\u00e5r dras med den d\u00e4r hyresg\u00e4sten ett tag fram\u00f6ver. Tr\u00f6tthet kan bara med ljus f\u00f6rdrivas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast jag har m\u00e5lat lite. Jag har sotat lite. Men allts\u00e5 inte mycket mer denna helg. Man borde kanske sk\u00e4mmas. Allts\u00e5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eller inte. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Om man nu \u00e4r s\u00e5dan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Och det \u00e4r man ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Liksom<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast man g\u00f6r det d\u00e4r man m\u00e5ste. Det kan liksom inte hj\u00e4lpas. Antagligen \u00e4r det en sjukdom, en svaghet, en skada det h\u00e4r som s\u00e4ger att ja jag skall k\u00f6ra p\u00e5. Inte ge mig. Det \u00e4r v\u00e4l samma sak som med den h\u00e4r texten ocks\u00e5. Man skriver f\u00f6r att man inte kan l\u00e5ta bli. Jag har inga planer p\u00e5 att bli f\u00f6rfattare (trots det d\u00e4r f\u00f6rfattarportr\u00e4ttet jag suktar efter). Men skriva kommer jag att g\u00f6ra s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge jag lever. Den processen \u00e4r en del av mig. Samma sak \u00e4r det med knappandet ocks\u00e5 d\u00e5 allts\u00e5. Jag m\u00e5ste. Jag, jag blir nog tvingad av den d\u00e4r ok\u00e4nda kraften att skriva en l\u00e5t eller tv\u00e5 eller tre eller vad det nu blir ocks\u00e5. Det kan liksom inte hj\u00e4lpas. Det finns ingen broms eller papperskorg att kasta det d\u00e4r i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jod\u00e5, jag kan sj\u00e4lv s\u00e4tta mig i en position d\u00e4r utanf\u00f6r mig sj\u00e4lv och se det patetiska i all det h\u00e4r jag h\u00e5ller p\u00e5 med. D\u00e4ri b\u00f6r man v\u00e4l r\u00e4kna med musiken ocks\u00e5. Det finns inga rikedomar och ingen ber\u00f6mmelse att r\u00e4kna hem i n\u00e5got av det h\u00e4r jag h\u00e5ller p\u00e5 med. Men man kan v\u00e4nda p\u00e5 det d\u00e4r ocks\u00e5. Kamrat professor Isse brukar p\u00e5minna mig om det ibland. Vilka dr\u00f6mmar jag en g\u00e5ng n\u00e4rde. F\u00f6r vad skulle man g\u00f6ra om man hade de d\u00e4r pengarna och den d\u00e4r ber\u00f6mmelsen eller vad det nu \u00e4r man suktar efter. I mitt fall \u00e4r svaret solklart. Om jag kunde ocks\u00e5 i den h\u00f6gst imagin\u00e4ra situationen s\u00e5 skulle jag g\u00f6ra precis det jag g\u00f6r nu. Det finns en l\u00e4rdom att ta in av den insikten. Om man vill. Om man orkar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

S\u00f6ndag. En ny vecka har redan b\u00f6rjat h\u00e4r. Knappar mot m\u00e5let att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka n\u00e5 sinnesro \u00f6ver jul just f\u00f6r tillf\u00e4llet. K\u00f6rt hela helgen. Det enda s\u00e4ttet att komma till det d\u00e4r rofyllda tillst\u00e5ndet \u00e4r att knappa p\u00e5 s\u00e5 att man n\u00e5r n\u00e5gon slags plat\u00e5 d\u00e4r mest tr\u00e5kigt rutinarbete \u00e5terst\u00e5r. S\u00e5dana plat\u00e5er finns det gott om. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18069,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18069","url_meta":{"origin":37052,"position":0},"title":"Kondensatorer och turn\u00e9dr\u00f6mmar","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-06-08","format":false,"excerpt":"Bytt femtio felaktiga kondensatorer p\u00e5 lika m\u00e5nga kort. Ett jobb man inte velat ha men som man fick. Man l\u00e4r sig av sina misstag. De som aldrig g\u00f6r n\u00e5gra g\u00f6r ingenting och allt det d\u00e4r. Skitsamma nu \u00e4r de bytta och allt i sin ordning igen. \u00c4ldste sonen \u00e4r hemma.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"445335_LB_00_FB.EPS_1000","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/445335_LB_00_FB.EPS_1000.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/445335_LB_00_FB.EPS_1000.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/445335_LB_00_FB.EPS_1000.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/445335_LB_00_FB.EPS_1000.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":24871,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24871","url_meta":{"origin":37052,"position":1},"title":"Man f\u00e5r f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka l\u00f6sa det innan","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-07-09","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag somnar i soffan p\u00e5 fredagen. Ja jag \u00e4r nu \u00e4nd\u00e5 en gammal man och en pizza, K's hemlagade, ligger d\u00e4r i magen och blir till slut f\u00f6r mycket f\u00f6r mig. Ryggl\u00e4ge och snarkningar. L\u00e5tsasjobb kan t\u00e4ra p\u00e5 en gammal gubbe som mig ungef\u00e4r som riktigt arbete t\u00e4r p\u00e5 en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/poster-1cb84c07-8f89-48a2-be3b-b87d697bc4c3-683x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24267,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24267","url_meta":{"origin":37052,"position":2},"title":"Den h\u00e4r dan","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-05-01","format":false,"excerpt":"Varje v\u00e5r har en f\u00f6rsta dag n\u00e4r man kan vara ute. Jo jo JOOOOOOO, jag vet att man kan vara ute i vilket v\u00e4der som hest bara man kl\u00e4r sig. ALLA vet det! Det beh\u00f6ver inte p\u00e5pekas! Men alla vill inte vara ute i vilket v\u00e4der som helst. I alla\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/57-26-tussilago-933x700.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/57-26-tussilago-933x700.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/57-26-tussilago-933x700.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/57-26-tussilago-933x700.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":39292,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=39292","url_meta":{"origin":37052,"position":3},"title":"Stirrigt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2021-06-30","format":false,"excerpt":"Lite stirrigt h\u00e4r allts\u00e5. Releasestirrigt. Det \u00e4r mycket att t\u00e4nka p\u00e5. M\u00e5nga saker att h\u00e5lla i huvudet p\u00e5 samma g\u00e5ng. \"Koncentration Hedman\" ropar jag desperat till mig sj\u00e4lv mer \u00e4n en g\u00e5ng under dagen. Bara tv\u00e5 dagar kvar. Till semester. Tre till releaser som visar sig vara fem nu p\u00e5\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/kelvin14-500x500-1.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":20423,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20423","url_meta":{"origin":37052,"position":4},"title":"En dag att minnas, fel, att gl\u00f6mma.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-05-18","format":false,"excerpt":"Vissa dagar vill man inte minnas. Det h\u00e4r \u00e4r en s\u00e5dan. Ja och jag visste det redan n\u00e4r jag vaknade. Snart bortforslad och avf\u00f6rd nu. Tack och lov. Men vet att det kommer fler. En hel r\u00e4cka. Det \u00e4r jag s\u00e4ker p\u00e5. Men d\u00e4refter bara bra dagar. 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Den som utmynnar i \"flow\" eller att befinna sig i \"zonen\" som en kompis ben\u00e4mner det. Jag har varit d\u00e4r en vecka nu. Det \u00e4r underbart. 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