{"id":36430,"date":"2020-10-13T16:37:53","date_gmt":"2020-10-13T15:37:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=36430"},"modified":"2020-10-14T08:45:42","modified_gmt":"2020-10-14T07:45:42","slug":"london-eller-paris","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=36430","title":{"rendered":"London eller Paris"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sv\u00e5rt att v\u00e4lja. London eller Paris. Om man vill g\u00f6ra n\u00e5gra m\u00e5nader i en storstad. Nu. Trotts pandemi allts\u00e5. Man f\u00e5r fundera p\u00e5 det d\u00e4r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Annars l\u00f6dr\u00f6k i lokaler, n\u00e4sa och i lungor. Det blir lite astmast\u00e4mning p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsaskontoret. Host, host, rossel, liksom<\/strong>. Men ljuvligt s\u00e5klart. Underbart (o)rent utav. Det d\u00e4r skapandet. Att f\u00e5 n\u00e5got att fungera. Huvud, tankar, ner i h\u00e4nder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

London och Paris kan man s\u00e5klart forts\u00e4tt att dr\u00f6mma om. Det blir aldrig mer \u00e4n dr\u00f6mmar s\u00e5klart. Valet allts\u00e5. Inte nu i all fall. Om nu n\u00e5gon trodde det d\u00e4r var ett reellt val f\u00f6r en s\u00e5dan som mig. Men 384 dagar kvar. Ett liv med valm\u00f6jligheter n\u00e4rmar sig. Man beh\u00f6ver bara \u00f6verleva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Best\u00e4mmer mig f\u00f6r att promenera idag. Men kommer inte iv\u00e4g. Haft sv\u00e5rt f\u00f6r det l\u00e4nge nu. Har sagt mig sj\u00e4lv att jag skall g\u00f6ra det, komma ig\u00e5ng med det d\u00e4r igen, i veckor. Men icke. Fattar egentligen inte varf\u00f6r eftersom det bara \u00e4r sk\u00f6nt. Men hindret, att \u00e4ntligen komma till skott, ligger i v\u00e4gen som en f\u00f6rbaskat tr\u00f6tt elefant p\u00e5 en d\u00f6rrmatta som inte n\u00e5gon (verkligen inte) t\u00e4nker resa sig ifr\u00e5n. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dom som aldrig g\u00f6r n\u00e5got \u00e4r alltid dom som har h\u00f6gst tankar om sig sj\u00e4lv. Visst \u00e4r det konstigt. Men man kan s\u00e5klart inte misslyckas om man bara sitter still i b\u00e5ten och driver med i en str\u00f6m – den man konstant gn\u00e4ller p\u00e5 – som driver en n\u00e4rmar och n\u00e4rmare d\u00f6den. Ja sen \u00e4r det s\u00e5klart slutgn\u00e4llt och man blir bortgl\u00f6md. Om man nu inte blev det redan innan man dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast dom som klagar p\u00e5 andra \u00e4r dom som \u00e4r tr\u00f6ttsammast. Verkligen, s\u00e5 \u00e4r det. Som jag nu allts\u00e5. Man f\u00e5r \u00e4ta upp. Sin egen utkastade dynga. Sv\u00e4lja utan att tugga. Skita ut och b\u00e4ttra sig n\u00e4r restprodukter har passerat alla tarmkanaler. Om man kan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ute \u00e4r det flera grader varmt. Fyra tror jag. Hastigt sjunkande skall till\u00e4ggas. N\u00e4pp, dit ut vill man allts\u00e5 inte. Fast man d\u00e5 egentligen vill det ocks\u00e5. Men p\u00e5kl\u00e4dd. Ny attack p\u00e5 nollan inatt fr\u00e5n Kung Bore. En f\u00f6rsta nattfrost. Kallhelvete. Hade det l\u00f6nat sig att hata den utvecklingen hade jag \u00e4gnat mig \u00e5t det. Jod\u00e5, hela dagarna och helgerna med. Men nu l\u00f6nar det sig inte. Ja, det inte mycket av det d\u00e4r hatandet alls som l\u00f6nar sig om man funderar \u00f6ver det. Att hata \u00e4r bara ett s\u00e4tt att g\u00f6ra av med egen energi som man s\u00e5klart kunde anv\u00e4nda till att g\u00f6ra n\u00e5got roligare ist\u00e4llet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Farv\u00e4l!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast p\u00e5 \u00e5terseende. Liksom<\/strong> och f\u00f6rhoppningsvis.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sv\u00e5rt att v\u00e4lja. London eller Paris. Om man vill g\u00f6ra n\u00e5gra m\u00e5nader i en storstad. Nu. Trotts pandemi allts\u00e5. Man f\u00e5r fundera p\u00e5 det d\u00e4r. Annars l\u00f6dr\u00f6k i lokaler, n\u00e4sa och i lungor. Det blir lite astmast\u00e4mning p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsaskontoret. Host, host, rossel, liksom. Men ljuvligt s\u00e5klart. Underbart (o)rent utav. Det d\u00e4r skapandet. Att f\u00e5 n\u00e5got […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-swedish"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19027,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=19027","url_meta":{"origin":36430,"position":0},"title":"Gud \u00e4r inte st\u00f6rre. 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