{"id":35739,"date":"2020-08-11T10:11:27","date_gmt":"2020-08-11T09:11:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35739"},"modified":"2020-08-11T10:11:27","modified_gmt":"2020-08-11T09:11:27","slug":"hungern","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35739","title":{"rendered":"Hungern"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"man
Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Hungern sliter i mig. Klockan \u00e4r tio. Det \u00e4r l\u00e5ngt till lunch. “Mariekex” t\u00e4nker jag. Hinner transformera kexen till “glass” p\u00e5 v\u00e4gen uppf\u00f6r trappan upp till l\u00e4genheten. Men glassen \u00e4r slut visar det sig. Tur. Jag beh\u00f6ver verkligen inte mer glass. Fast kex finns det kvar. De \u00e4r billiga. De \u00e4r visserligen inte s\u00e4rskilt goda. Men fullt \u00e4tbara. B\u00e5de mentalt och s\u00f6tsugssl\u00e4ckande fungerar de. S\u00e5 jag v\u00e4nder ner igen med en bunt i n\u00e4ven. L\u00e4tt d\u00e5ligt samvete mal d\u00e4r i huvudet. Borde inte \u00e4ta en massa skit. Tv\u00e5 minuter senare \u00e4r de upp\u00e4tna. Hungern n\u00e5got stillad. Det d\u00e4r sugande signalerna fr\u00e5n magtrakten upph\u00f6r. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00f6ker koncentrationen h\u00e4r p\u00e5 f\u00f6rmiddagen. Den \u00e4r m\u00e4rkligt avl\u00e4gsen. Oklart varf\u00f6r. Men kommer inte riktigt ig\u00e5ng med mitt. Gillar inte. Inte det minsta. Van som jag \u00e4r att bara k\u00f6ra, k\u00f6ra och k\u00f6ra med mitt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

F\u00f6rs\u00f6ker med musik. Injicera lite av det bl\u00e5a direkt in genom \u00f6ronen. Men utan st\u00f6rre framg\u00e5ng. \u00c5tminstone hittills. Mina spellistor \u00e4r m\u00e5nga och l\u00e5nga. Det finns hopp. Man f\u00e5r mata p\u00e5. Till slut s\u00e5 kanske. Fast b\u00e4st en s\u00e5dan h\u00e4r dag \u00e4r s\u00e5klart att g\u00f6ra n\u00e5got som man inte beh\u00f6ver t\u00e4nka s\u00e5 mycket p\u00e5 n\u00e4r man g\u00f6r. Gr\u00e4va en grop eller ett dike till exempel. Fast h\u00e4r, i mitt, det som ligger i r\u00f6ret just nu, jag beh\u00f6ver koncentrationen f\u00f6r att komma igenom det. Allt av den varan jag kan uppb\u00e5da.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stiltje allts\u00e5. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Irritation \u00f6ver den.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Som skapar \u00e4nnu mer stiltje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u00e4vlar!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag f\u00e5r allts\u00e5 vattna blommorna. Prata med “tanterna”. Ja, mina pelargoner. De har varit eftersatta ett tag. Jag har haft nog med axel, infektioner och att inte se. Men har b\u00e4ttrat mig p\u00e5 sistone. Planterat om. Plockar oftare. Pratar med dem. De har sakta b\u00f6rjat le igen. Blomma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skulle iof kunna st\u00e4da ocks\u00e5. Inte mycket t\u00e4nk beh\u00f6vs d\u00e4r. Men hur lockande \u00e4r det? Man f\u00e5r fr\u00e5ga sig det. K\u00e4nna p\u00e5 tanken. K\u00e4nns det \u00e4nd\u00e5 inte som om man kastar bort en massa dyrbar tid? Fast inte \u00e4r det b\u00e4ttre s\u00e5klart att bara sitta d\u00e4r och v\u00e4nta p\u00e5 inspiration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi lever i singulariteternas tidevarv. Tv\u00e5samhetens lov sjungs v\u00e4l fortfarande bland de flesta. Men parterna har sina liv och umg\u00e4nge p\u00e5 jobbet under dagen och p\u00e5 Facebook (etc etc) under kv\u00e4llarna. Partners lever i varsin verklighet. K\u00e4nner man varandra l\u00e4ngre? Har man ens n\u00e5gra gemensamma “v\u00e4nner”? Gemensamma vardagshistorier? Vill man k\u00e4nna varandra l\u00e4ngre? Har man n\u00e5got gemensamt l\u00e4ngre utom en halvtimme vid kv\u00e4llsmatens tystnad? “Gott!”. \u00c4r allt det d\u00e4r kanske bara f\u00f6r att man skall st\u00e5 ut med tv\u00e5samheten? De flesta f\u00e5r n\u00e4rmare relationer utanf\u00f6r \u00e4n innanf\u00f6r hemmet. Alla har slutat lyssna p\u00e5 varandra i den verkliga v\u00e4rlden. Ingen s\u00e4ger ens “Va?” l\u00e4ngre eftersom man inte orkar h\u00f6ra \u00e4nd\u00e5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast kanske \u00e4r det inte s\u00e5d\u00e4r det \u00e4r. Jag har s\u00e4kert f\u00e5tt allt om bakfoten. Som vanligt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Liksom<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imorgon sl\u00e4pps IKEA katalogen. Jag minns inte hur m\u00e5nga j\u00e4rnv\u00e4gsvagnar med kataloger det \u00e4r som skulle distribueras. Men m\u00e5nga. Jag antar att vi h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen ocks\u00e5 beh\u00f6ver n\u00e5got fr\u00e5n det d\u00e4r f\u00f6retaget. Trotts ingen Ingvar. Fast lite g\u00e4sp \u00e4r det s\u00e5klart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men undrar om det inte b\u00f6rjar pirra lite i inspirationscentrum. Dags att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka sig p\u00e5 lite koncentration igen kanske. Se \u00e5t vilket h\u00e5llet den leder. Ett liv utan l\u00f6dr\u00f6k \u00e4r inget liv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hungern sliter i mig. Klockan \u00e4r tio. Det \u00e4r l\u00e5ngt till lunch. “Mariekex” t\u00e4nker jag. Hinner transformera kexen till “glass” p\u00e5 v\u00e4gen uppf\u00f6r trappan upp till l\u00e4genheten. Men glassen \u00e4r slut visar det sig. Tur. Jag beh\u00f6ver verkligen inte mer glass. Fast kex finns det kvar. De \u00e4r billiga. De \u00e4r visserligen inte s\u00e4rskilt goda. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35739","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-swedish"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":23763,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=23763","url_meta":{"origin":35739,"position":0},"title":"Valf\u00e5ngaren","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-03-20","format":false,"excerpt":"B\u00e5tarna l\u00e4mnar hamnen. Allesamman. Det \u00e4r bara min skuta som ligger kvar vid den rangliga bryggan som stormen n\u00e4stan tog f\u00f6r n\u00e5gra veckor sedan. Jag vill inte ge mig ut l\u00e4ngre. \u00c4r f\u00f6r gammal. D\u00f6dandet och blodet st\u00e5r mig upp i halsen. Valjaktss\u00e4songen f\u00e4rgar havet r\u00f6tt. En harpunerad val ger\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/ocean-918999_960_720.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/ocean-918999_960_720.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/ocean-918999_960_720.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":34901,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=34901","url_meta":{"origin":35739,"position":1},"title":"Det \u00e4r v\u00e5ren","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-04-14","format":false,"excerpt":"Vindarna har lugnat sig. Tio m\/s \u00e4r inget. Torkvindar. V\u00e5ren \u00e4r h\u00e4r. Trotts att det \u00e4r riktigt kallt idag s\u00e5 \u00e4r det s\u00e5. Man beh\u00f6ver bara st\u00e4lla sig d\u00e4r ute och sniffa lite s\u00e5 k\u00e4nner man tydligt v\u00e5rens kittlande lust i hela n\u00e4san. Japp, trotts att man \u00e4r f\u00f6rkyld. Nope,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/IMG_20200411_163301192.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/IMG_20200411_163301192.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/IMG_20200411_163301192.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/IMG_20200411_163301192.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":22209,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=22209","url_meta":{"origin":35739,"position":2},"title":"Vetskapen","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-11-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Sol d\u00e4r ute. Hunger h\u00e4r inne. I mig. Gul traktor plogar d\u00e4r ute. Det \u00e4r mer \u00e4n jag kan beg\u00e4ra. En lyx. Jag beh\u00f6ver bara sm\u00e5skotta lite. Axel, ja den heter s\u00e5 min protest d\u00e4r p\u00e5 h\u00f6ger axel, m\u00e5r bra av det d\u00e4r. Det g\u00f6r mindre ont helt enkelt. P\u00e5\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"20161121_122658","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/20161121_122658-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/20161121_122658-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/20161121_122658-1024x576.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":36346,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=36346","url_meta":{"origin":35739,"position":3},"title":"Lusten","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-10-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Lusten driver p\u00e5 mig. Skriker \"upp med dig gubbj\u00e4vel, det finns saker att g\u00f6ra\" redan vid fem. Men det finns m\u00e5tta. Ocks\u00e5 i mitt liv. Sjuttiofem\u00e5rings morgonliv kan vi inte leva \u00e4nnu. Vakna tidigt. S\u00e4tta p\u00e5 kaffe. V\u00e4nta p\u00e5 tidningen. Snart men, inte \u00e4nnu. \"Bara\" sextiotre. Men det \u00e4r inte\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201001_213328-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201001_213328-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201001_213328-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201001_213328-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201001_213328-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201001_213328-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23779,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=23779","url_meta":{"origin":35739,"position":4},"title":"Ur mina h\u00e4nder…","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-03-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag noterar det d\u00e4r huset. 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Det \u00e4r inte bara arbete, Det \u00e4r roligt ocks\u00e5. S\u00e5 \u00e4r det \u00e4nd\u00e5 s\u00e4llan. Roligt. Det mesta \u00e4r en kamp. Men h\u00e4rligt s\u00e5klart n\u00e4r det k\u00e4nns kul. Electron, node.js, npm. Vem kunde tro att Javascript inneh\u00f6ll gl\u00e4djemoment. Men tydligen.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Screenshot-from-2019-05-28-11-56-11.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Screenshot-from-2019-05-28-11-56-11.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Screenshot-from-2019-05-28-11-56-11.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Screenshot-from-2019-05-28-11-56-11.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Screenshot-from-2019-05-28-11-56-11.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Screenshot-from-2019-05-28-11-56-11.png?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s68PL2-hungern","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35739","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35739"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35739\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35742,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35739\/revisions\/35742"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}