{"id":35468,"date":"2020-07-10T10:45:23","date_gmt":"2020-07-10T09:45:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35468"},"modified":"2020-07-10T10:45:23","modified_gmt":"2020-07-10T09:45:23","slug":"h-som-i-he","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35468","title":{"rendered":"H som i He…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Fredag. Som vilken annan dag som helst. S\u00e5klart. N\u00e4r man har l\u00e5tsassemester. Forts\u00e4tter med sm\u00e5projekt. Lever i befrielsen. B\u00f6rjar v\u00e4nja mig vid detta. Bra eftersom pensionen \u00e4r 479 dagar bort. Om man nu lever s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge. Fast denna st\u00e4ndiga vila fungerar s\u00e5klart inte hur l\u00e4nge som helst. Eller ocks\u00e5 g\u00f6r den det… Men man kan nog vila sig till d\u00f6ds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grannen klipper gr\u00e4s. F\u00e5r mig att fundera p\u00e5 om jag skall g\u00f6ra likaledes. Det fortplantar sig g\u00e4rna det d\u00e4r. Men f\u00f6rst p\u00e5 listan \u00e4r det en hylla som skall s\u00e4ttas upp. Varf\u00f6r inte liksom. Den hyllupps\u00e4ttningen har funnits p\u00e5 listan under flera \u00e5r. Det \u00e4r sk\u00f6nt att bocka av. Ofta g\u00e5r det mer energi \u00e5t till att oja sig \u00e4n att l\u00f6sa problemet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c4ter en dubbelnougat. Nougat \u00e4r en till av mina laster. Det som jag har sv\u00e5rt att klara mig utan ocks\u00e5 n\u00e4r jag borde klara mig utan. Fast ett liv utan att ge sig h\u00e4n \u00e5t excesser ibland \u00e4r s\u00e5klart inget liv. Tycker jag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Regn under morgondagen. Kanske kan det vara en dag f\u00f6r musik. Kanske… Suget finns d\u00e4r. Men det kr\u00e4vs en heldag. Minst. Att kunna ge sig h\u00e4n utan f\u00f6rbeh\u00e5ll. Kanske finns den eller ocks\u00e5 den inte. Det \u00e4r i alla fall ingen ide att ens f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka om man inte tror att obruten outforskad dag finns d\u00e4r framf\u00f6r en. St\u00e4lltider. Tid att ta sig ur det d\u00e4r ruset man hamnar i. Resten det d\u00e4r kreativa fl\u00f6det som \u00e4r k\u00e4rlek och liv. M\u00e5nga s\u00e5dana dagar kan jag r\u00e4kna till i mitt liv. Det m\u00e5ste betyda n\u00e5got!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r gott att leva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

River ut gamla ledningar fr\u00e5n elsk\u00e5pet under g\u00e5rdagen. Fyra m\u00e4tare \u00e4r nu en. Mycket avklippt har h\u00e4ngt kvar sen fyra, tre, tv\u00e5, m\u00e4tartiden. Nu borta. Snyggare. Men man k\u00e4nner sig som en bov n\u00e4r man st\u00e5r d\u00e4r. Som en “otill\u00e5ten elavledare”. Men s\u00e5dana saker har jag aldrig v\u00e5gat mig p\u00e5. \u00c5terst\u00e5r fortfarande lite fix. En del eldragningar g\u00e5r f\u00f6rst \u00e5t ett h\u00e5ll och sen \u00e5t ett annat. On\u00f6digt s\u00e5klart. Men man f\u00e5r l\u00f6sa bit f\u00f6r bit. Skall koppla in den nya kabeln till garaget f\u00f6rst. Efterl\u00e4ngtat!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

F\u00e5glarna sjunger inte l\u00e4ngre lika intensivt. Som alltid efter midsommar. Saknad. Men dom har s\u00e5klart annat att syssla med. Jag har njutit av det som trillat in genom mina \u00f6ron fram till hit hursomhelst. Jag tror nog d\u00f6v faktiskt vore sv\u00e5rare \u00e4n blind. Om man nu kan gradera helveten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Havet har jag inte njutit \u00e4nnu i \u00e5r. Men det finns s\u00e5klart inplanerat. Ett av behoven. Att se ut \u00f6ver obruten horisont och lyssna p\u00e5 v\u00e5gskvalp mot stenig strand. K\u00e4nna p\u00e5landsvinden varmt och lite busigt smeka h\u00e5ret n\u00e4r man intar en baguette med potatissallad och k*ttbullar p\u00e5 en solvarm ur\u00e5ldrig lenslipad stenh\u00e4ll. Jod\u00e5 \u00f6sterut blir det endera dagen. Resan v\u00e4sterut, f\u00f6r att m\u00f6ta Atlanten, f\u00e5r v\u00e4nta ett tag till. Men den h\u00e4grar den ocks\u00e5. Det \u00e4r inte ens s\u00e5 l\u00e5ngt. Man kan klara det p\u00e5 en dag. Fast beh\u00f6ver minst tv\u00e5. F\u00f6r att hinna ta in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men nu skall jag forts\u00e4tta med mitt sm\u00e5fixande. Du som g\u00e5r d\u00e4r i sommaren. Var glad att du lever. Det finns s\u00e5 m\u00e5nga som skulle velat leva en dag till men inte fick det.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fredag. Som vilken annan dag som helst. S\u00e5klart. N\u00e4r man har l\u00e5tsassemester. Forts\u00e4tter med sm\u00e5projekt. Lever i befrielsen. B\u00f6rjar v\u00e4nja mig vid detta. Bra eftersom pensionen \u00e4r 479 dagar bort. Om man nu lever s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge. Fast denna st\u00e4ndiga vila fungerar s\u00e5klart inte hur l\u00e4nge som helst. Eller ocks\u00e5 g\u00f6r den det… Men man kan […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":29534,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=29534","url_meta":{"origin":35468,"position":0},"title":"S\u00e5 s\u00e5 s\u00e5…","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-08-12","format":false,"excerpt":"Jomenvisst. Anglosaxisk l\u00e5tsasarbetsvecka rullar. K's semester \u00e4r slut. Nytt f\u00f6rs\u00f6k n\u00e4sta \u00e5r. Min... ???\u00a0 Ja min forts\u00e4tter v\u00e4l, men jag tenderar att \u00e5tminstone \u00e4gna mig \u00e5t l\u00e5tsasarbete. B\u00e4ttre kan jag inte. Sorry till er alla som lider av det.\u00a0\u00a0 Det finns alltid n\u00e5gon som lider har jag l\u00e4rt mig. G\u00e4rna\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/ake_20180727.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/ake_20180727.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/ake_20180727.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":42625,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42625","url_meta":{"origin":35468,"position":1},"title":"Att v\u00e4nja sig","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-08-28","format":false,"excerpt":"En lampa blinkar frenetiskt ovanf\u00f6r mitt huvud. Lysr\u00f6r M\u00e5nga. D\u00e4r i taket. Alltid n\u00e5got som \u00e4r trasigt. Livsfarlig operation p\u00e5 vinglig tremetersstege \u00e4r n\u00f6dv\u00e4ndig f\u00f6r att kunna byta. Men man m\u00e5ste s\u00e5klart. Ocks\u00e5 som pension\u00e4r. En dag kommer det d\u00e4r bli min d\u00f6d. Om jag nu inte lyckas byta ut\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/IMG_20220828_085339-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/IMG_20220828_085339-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/IMG_20220828_085339-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/IMG_20220828_085339-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/IMG_20220828_085339-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/IMG_20220828_085339-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":36623,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=36623","url_meta":{"origin":35468,"position":2},"title":"S\u00e5 lite","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-10-31","format":false,"excerpt":"En dag i skogen. Vid \u00e4lven. Energi in. Energi som lagras f\u00f6r att plockas ut n\u00e4r den beh\u00f6vs som mest och b\u00e4st en annan dag l\u00e4ngre fram n\u00e4r orken kanske tryter. Voxnan \u00e4r min \u00e4lv. Skogen \u00e4r min skog. \u00c4nd\u00e5 \u00e4ger jag s\u00e5klart inget av det h\u00e4r. Ingen kan det.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201031_132303-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201031_132303-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201031_132303-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201031_132303-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201031_132303-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/IMG_20201031_132303-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26391,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=26391","url_meta":{"origin":35468,"position":3},"title":"Avslaget","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-12-19","format":false,"excerpt":"Lite, eller snarare, ganska mycket, avslaget h\u00e4r idag. Det \u00e4r v\u00e4l julen. Som pockar p\u00e5. Som vill ha uppm\u00e4rksamhet. All uppm\u00e4rksamhet. Det irriterar mig lite. Eller ganska mycket. Jag \u00e4r inte d\u00e4r f\u00f6rr\u00e4n p\u00e5 fredag. Om jag f\u00e5r best\u00e4mma. Men det f\u00e5r man ju\u00a0 inte.Tydligen. Det skall t\u00e4nkas jul redan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/brorericbild_liten.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":44824,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=44824","url_meta":{"origin":35468,"position":4},"title":"Att o-t\u00e4vla","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2023-04-16","format":false,"excerpt":"V\u00e5r h\u00e4r p\u00e5 riktigt. Inte ens h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen kan n\u00e5gon f\u00f6rneka detta faktum. Sn\u00f6 sm\u00e4lter. F\u00e5glar anl\u00e4nder. Solen v\u00e4rmer. Det finns inget att klaga p\u00e5. Fast s\u00e5klart. Det finns alltid m\u00e4nniskor som hittar n\u00e5got att klaga p\u00e5. \"Dom har ju\" s\u00e4ger dom allt f\u00f6r ofta, f\u00f6ljt av \"Vi vill\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Orange abstract background","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/cHJpdmF0ZS9sci9pbWFnZXMvd2Vic2l0ZS8yMDIyLTA1L25zMTYzNDAtaW1hZ2Uta3d2d29tNTUuanBn.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/cHJpdmF0ZS9sci9pbWFnZXMvd2Vic2l0ZS8yMDIyLTA1L25zMTYzNDAtaW1hZ2Uta3d2d29tNTUuanBn.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/cHJpdmF0ZS9sci9pbWFnZXMvd2Vic2l0ZS8yMDIyLTA1L25zMTYzNDAtaW1hZ2Uta3d2d29tNTUuanBn.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/cHJpdmF0ZS9sci9pbWFnZXMvd2Vic2l0ZS8yMDIyLTA1L25zMTYzNDAtaW1hZ2Uta3d2d29tNTUuanBn.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/cHJpdmF0ZS9sci9pbWFnZXMvd2Vic2l0ZS8yMDIyLTA1L25zMTYzNDAtaW1hZ2Uta3d2d29tNTUuanBn.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":33438,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=33438","url_meta":{"origin":35468,"position":5},"title":"Melankolia","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2019-11-04","format":false,"excerpt":"St\u00e4ller ut soptunnan. Det \u00e4r -4. Ingen temperatur f\u00f6r en riktig Norrl\u00e4nning s\u00e5klart. Men f\u00f6r mig, en enkel ocool gubbe, inneb\u00e4r det att jag h\u00e5ller p\u00e5 att frysa ihj\u00e4l. Fryslort \u00e4r man. Fryslort blir man inte. S\u00e5 in rusar jag snabbt. 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