{"id":35312,"date":"2020-06-23T08:02:42","date_gmt":"2020-06-23T07:02:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35312"},"modified":"2020-06-23T08:02:42","modified_gmt":"2020-06-23T07:02:42","slug":"sommarmorgon-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35312","title":{"rendered":"Sommarmorgon"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

F\u00f6nster upp. D\u00f6rrar upp. S\u00e4tter p\u00e5 en tv\u00e4ttmaskin. Kaffe. Normalt dricker jag te p\u00e5 morgonen – men idag, ja va fan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r en morgon som p\u00e5minner mig om England. Jag jobbade d\u00e4r en sommar. P\u00e5 ett lager. Varje morgon var s\u00e5h\u00e4r nyv\u00e4ckt sommarsk\u00f6r och vacker n\u00e4r vi \u00e5kte fort p\u00e5 smala v\u00e4gar kantade av taggiga h\u00e4ckar fr\u00e5n Leicester till fabriken utanf\u00f6r staden tidigt varje morgon. Det enda som saknas h\u00e4r och nu \u00e4r diskjockeyn i radion som f\u00f6r evigt kopplade ihop ett g\u00e4ng l\u00e5tar med den sommaren. F.\u00f6. antagligen den enda sommar som jag klistrats med epitet som “handsome”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast jag stannade inte. Kunde nog gjort det. Borde kanske ha gjort det. Men ville till universitet och nya v\u00e4rldar. F\u00f6r att jag kunde och f\u00f6r att ingen trodde p\u00e5 det.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e4r Ulf Lundell pratar k\u00e4rleksfullt om Koltrasten k\u00e4nns det s\u00e5klart som han tar den lite fr\u00e5n mig. Nope, inte f\u00f6r att den \u00e4r min. Men kan jag n\u00e5gonsin ens ber\u00e4tta om min k\u00e4rlek till den f\u00e5geln, eller till f\u00e5glar \u00f6ver huvud taget, h\u00e4r p\u00e5 bloggen, annorst\u00e4des, utan att man s\u00e4ger att jag f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker h\u00e4rma honom d\u00e4r p\u00e5 \u00d6sterlen. Inte hj\u00e4lper det att man var f\u00f6rst. Med r\u00e5ge till och med. Skitgubbe. Tjuvgubbe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e5ja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Han kan f\u00e5 leva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tar man bilder ute s\u00e5 blir dom som efter applicering av Googles gr\u00f6nfilter av sig sj\u00e4lva. Snacka om gr\u00f6nt. Midsommargr\u00f6nt. \u00c4lskar den d\u00e4r f\u00e4rgen. Gr\u00f6nt och gult \u00e4r mina favoritf\u00e4rger. Lugnet och galenskapen. Schizofreni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Idag tre veckor sedan operationen av \u00f6ga tv\u00e5. Sista dropparna ur dyr flaska i \u00f6gat nu p\u00e5 morgonen. Sen skall jag kunna leva i det n\u00e4rmaste normalt. Se. Fast en m\u00e5nad till innan man kan t\u00e4nka nya brillor. Det skall stabiliseras. Fast klippa gr\u00e4s borde jag v\u00e4l kunna g\u00f6ra nu allts\u00e5. F\u00e5r vistas i dammiga milj\u00f6er igen. V\u00e5r gr\u00e4sklippare t\u00e4cker f\u00f6raren med gr\u00e4s. Som synes av bilden ovan s\u00e5 finns behov av gr\u00e4sklipparbrum. Men skall v\u00e4l klara det nu d\u00e5. \u00d6ga ett skaver lite. Men f\u00f6rhoppningsvis skall det d\u00e4r g\u00e5 \u00f6ver det ocks\u00e5 vad det lider. Man st\u00e5r ut. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast den d\u00e4r l\u00e4ngtan att s\u00e4tta sig i en bil och bara dra iv\u00e4g finns i mig fortfarande. Den \u00e4r starkast s\u00e5h\u00e4r p\u00e5 sommaren. Allts\u00e5, full tank och iv\u00e4g utan m\u00e5l. Sen fler fulla tankar efter att den f\u00f6rsta \u00e4r sluts\u00f6rplad. Men allts\u00e5 utan att komma fram. Kanske komma tillbaks sen. Eller hitta en ny plats att l\u00e4gga sin hatt p\u00e5. Ja, allts\u00e5 komma fram trots allt fast man inte t\u00e4nkte sig det n\u00e4r man reste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men nu f\u00e5r den h\u00e4r dagen b\u00f6rja rulla p\u00e5 och l\u00e4gga sekunder till historien om mitt liv. Ingen historia som kommer ber\u00e4ttas s\u00e5klart. Det skulle bli f\u00f6r m\u00e5nga “g\u00e4sp”. Jag har f\u00f6rsakat v\u00e4nnerna och de som varit mig n\u00e4ra f\u00f6r det som brinner i mig. Den d\u00e4r elden som alltid brunnit djupt i mig och som \u00e4r osl\u00e4ckbar. Men vad vore jag utan den? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kaffe!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

F\u00f6nster upp. D\u00f6rrar upp. S\u00e4tter p\u00e5 en tv\u00e4ttmaskin. Kaffe. Normalt dricker jag te p\u00e5 morgonen – men idag, ja va fan. Det \u00e4r en morgon som p\u00e5minner mig om England. Jag jobbade d\u00e4r en sommar. P\u00e5 ett lager. Varje morgon var s\u00e5h\u00e4r nyv\u00e4ckt sommarsk\u00f6r och vacker n\u00e4r vi \u00e5kte fort p\u00e5 smala v\u00e4gar kantade av […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10834,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=10834","url_meta":{"origin":35312,"position":0},"title":"En bra dag","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-11-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag vaknar upp i ett slott helt i silver. Den girigaste kung och multimiljard\u00e4r skulle gnissla t\u00e4nder i avundsjuka om hon\/han s\u00e5g det jag ser. Men allt det h\u00e4r \u00e4r gratis. Fritt som ett glas \u00f6l. Kan inte k\u00f6pas f\u00f6r pengar. Ses bara av befriade sinnen. En torsdag som alla\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hoar-Frost-Purcell-Mountains-British-Columbia","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Hoar-Frost-Purcell-Mountains-British-Columbia.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Hoar-Frost-Purcell-Mountains-British-Columbia.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Hoar-Frost-Purcell-Mountains-British-Columbia.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Hoar-Frost-Purcell-Mountains-British-Columbia.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20738,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20738","url_meta":{"origin":35312,"position":1},"title":"Jag skall bli s\u00e4lgkramare","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-06-20","format":false,"excerpt":"Morgon. Sommar. Om man vaknar f\u00f6rst i familjen. Tystnaden. Ett hus som sover. Man sj\u00e4lv \u00e4r vaken. Matar katter. \u00c4ter frukost. Duschar. Brygger te. Sitter d\u00e4r ett tag. Ja en av de d\u00e4r sakerna jag tycker om med sommaren. Det \u00e4r liksom bara f\u00e5glarna och jag. I hela v\u00e4rlden. Ja,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"12912461_878521785610792_2051855321_n","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/12912461_878521785610792_2051855321_n.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/12912461_878521785610792_2051855321_n.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/12912461_878521785610792_2051855321_n.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13750,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13750","url_meta":{"origin":35312,"position":2},"title":"“Det paketet f\u00e4rdas \u00f6ver en hel v\u00e4rld och inneh\u00e5ller mina dr\u00f6mmar”","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-07-03","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag vaknar upp till \u00e4nnu en dag och k\u00e4nner som vanligt samma euforiska k\u00e4nsla \u00f6ver att f\u00e5 ynnesten att finnas till en dag till. En timme i taget, en minut till i r\u00f6relse fram\u00e5t, s\u00e5 forts\u00e4tter livet. Att \u00e4nnu en dag f\u00e5 bygga p\u00e5 mitt livsverk, min, \u00e4ven om jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Shenzhen_night_street","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13796,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13796","url_meta":{"origin":35312,"position":3},"title":"Men h\u00e5ll inte andan medan du v\u00e4ntar.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-07-06","format":false,"excerpt":"Det blir inte s\u00e5 mycket idag. Tv\u00e5 pioner skall ner i backen, bli en del av v\u00e5r familj. En ink\u00f6pt med 70% rabatt och en inhandlad till fullpris. De lever eller s\u00e5 \u00e4r de d\u00f6da n\u00e4sta \u00e5r n\u00e4r sn\u00f6n sm\u00e4lter bort. 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En s\u00e5dan d\u00e4r morgon som g\u00f6r att man minns varf\u00f6r man bor just h\u00e4r och inte i T\u00e4by. Det \u00e4r sannerligen v\u00e4rt det, konstaterar man f\u00f6r sig sj\u00e4lv med l\u00e4tthet. 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