{"id":35201,"date":"2020-06-08T22:39:52","date_gmt":"2020-06-08T21:39:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35201"},"modified":"2020-06-08T22:39:52","modified_gmt":"2020-06-08T21:39:52","slug":"bit-for-bit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35201","title":{"rendered":"Bit f\u00f6r bit"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r en s\u00e5dan d\u00e4r dag n\u00e4r man g\u00e5r och g\u00e5r men inte riktigt kommer fram till d\u00f6rren. Det k\u00e4nns som det inte blir ett dugg gjort. \u00c4nd\u00e5 blir det ju det. Men allt \u00e4r s\u00e5 l\u00f6sryckt och ADHD att man inte riktigt hinner med. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast jag har pysslat i helgen ocks\u00e5. Det gick b\u00e4ttre d\u00e5. Bit f\u00f6r bit liksom. Hela mitt liv \u00e4r det d\u00e4r. L\u00e5tsasjobb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kommer liksom inte \u00f6ver att Backa-Jan har l\u00e4mnat oss. M\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger har jag skrivit h\u00e4r och liksom sett honom framf\u00f6r mig l\u00e4sande. Han uppskattade orden. Ocks\u00e5 de enkla som mina. Vem skall man skriva f\u00f6r nu? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast det g\u00e5r ned\u00e5t med det mesta \u00e4nd\u00e5 nu f\u00f6r tiden. Man avl\u00e4gsnar sig bit f\u00f6r bit fr\u00e5n v\u00e4rlden och m\u00e4nniskorna. Undrar ibland vad det finns f\u00f6r mening. S\u00e5klart. Antar att jag inte \u00e4r ensam om det. Fast mening eller inte. Har sv\u00e5rt att t\u00e4nka mig sj\u00e4lv sittande i soffan resten av livet. Eller vid p\u00e5 en sandstrand f\u00f6r den delen. Har sv\u00e5rt f\u00f6r det or\u00f6rliga. \u00c4nd\u00e5 fattar jag ju att andra antagligen ser p\u00e5 mig som den minst r\u00f6rlige. En som h\u00e5ller p\u00e5 och h\u00e5ller p\u00e5 med samma saker \u00e5r efter \u00e5r. Fast i mitt huvud r\u00f6r det p\u00e5 sig \u00e4nd\u00e5. D\u00e4r finns en slags fram\u00e5tr\u00f6relse. Ett st\u00e4ndigt l\u00e4rande. I det kan jag leva. D\u00e4r finns varken slut eller stillast\u00e5ende. Sj\u00e4lva utmaningen att aldrig bli m\u00e4stare. Aldrig n\u00e5 Nirvana. Men aldrig sluta f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rollen som samlare har aldrig varit min. Inte lagspelaren heller. Det sista kan jag tycka \u00e4r synd. Det f\u00f6rsta har inget v\u00e4rde. Fr\u00e5ga dem som lever. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Utanf\u00f6r f\u00f6nstret har den gamla damen kl\u00e4tt sig i brudkl\u00e4nning. En stor, l\u00e5rbenstjock, kvist tappade hon i vintras. \u00c5derl\u00e5ten av \u00e5lder st\u00e5r hon d\u00e4r v\u00e4rdig och vacker nu. Men det beh\u00f6vs v\u00e4rme s\u00e5 att insekterna p\u00e5 kullen vaknar och kan g\u00f6ra sitt jobb s\u00e5 att vi f\u00e5r s\u00f6ta h\u00e4rliga goda r\u00f6da k\u00f6rsb\u00e4r att stoppa in i l\u00e4ngtande munnar under Juli. Fast den \u00e4r visst p\u00e5 v\u00e4g.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Att vara seende igen \u00e4r allts\u00e5 ett under. det skaver iof fortfarande i \u00f6gon efter operationerna. Men jag sitter fortfarande mina timmar framf\u00f6r sk\u00e4rmarna med glas\u00f6gon som \u00e4r p\u00e5 tok f\u00f6r starka och utan (men n\u00e4ra) med f\u00f6r den delen, och det sliter v\u00e4l. \u00c4nnu \u00e5terst\u00e5r n\u00e5gra veckor innan det \u00e4r dags att kr\u00f6na det h\u00e4r fantastiska med ett par nya glas\u00f6gon. Jag har sv\u00e5rt att ta till mig att det kan bli b\u00e4ttre \u00e4n vad det \u00e4r redan. Men tydligen kan det det.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast nu t\u00e4nker jag avsluta den h\u00e4r dagen. \u00c5tminstone efter att ha t\u00f6mt en tv\u00e4ttmaskin och h\u00e4ngt upp inneh\u00e5llet p\u00e5 tork. S\u00e5dant man g\u00f6r innan s\u00e4ngg\u00e5ende r\u00e4tt ofta med eller utan Hulk-passning. Inget jag reflekterar speciellt \u00f6ver och inget n\u00e5gon annan reflekterar n\u00e4mnv\u00e4rt \u00f6ver heller s\u00e5klart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gr\u00e4smattan v\u00e4xer med en v\u00e4ldig fart. Sj\u00e4lv skall jag inte r\u00f6ra mig i det dammiga p\u00e5 tv\u00e5 veckor till. F\u00f6rs\u00f6kt f\u00e5tt yngsten att klippa, men han gillar sm\u00e5 eller inga gr\u00e4smattor s\u00e5 det blir inte s\u00e5 mycket av det. Sj\u00e4lv g\u00f6r jag hellre \u00e4n att gn\u00e4lla och tjata. F\u00e5r v\u00e4l k\u00f6ra tre decimeters gr\u00e4s senare. Har ju h\u00e4nt f\u00f6rr. Man har \u00f6verlevt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast nu skriker min bok efter mig. S\u00e5dant tar jag p\u00e5 allvar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Godnatt!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Det \u00e4r en s\u00e5dan d\u00e4r dag n\u00e4r man g\u00e5r och g\u00e5r men inte riktigt kommer fram till d\u00f6rren. Det k\u00e4nns som det inte blir ett dugg gjort. \u00c4nd\u00e5 blir det ju det. Men allt \u00e4r s\u00e5 l\u00f6sryckt och ADHD att man inte riktigt hinner med. Fast jag har pysslat i helgen ocks\u00e5. Det gick b\u00e4ttre […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25253,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=25253","url_meta":{"origin":35201,"position":0},"title":"Semlor, k\u00e4rlek och musik","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-09-05","format":false,"excerpt":"Lugn, jag t\u00e4nker inte prata om mina kr\u00e4mpor ock sjukdomar.\u00a0 S\u00e5 andas lugnt. Sucka inte. H\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen, perfekt l\u00e5tsasjobbarv\u00e4der idag. Japp. Mulet. Nio grader ute. Varmt inne (Jo jag fryser \u00e4nd\u00e5). Det kan inte bli mer inspirerande. Tyv\u00e4rr m\u00e5ste jag ned till Ljusdal en sv\u00e4ng. P\u00e5 eftermiddagen. Dum tid.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/IMG_20170803_121507302-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/IMG_20170803_121507302-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/IMG_20170803_121507302-768x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":34241,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=34241","url_meta":{"origin":35201,"position":1},"title":"Oj","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-01-23","format":false,"excerpt":"Det fanns verkligen ingenting att s\u00e4ga \"oj\" \u00e5t idag heller. Jag l\u00e5tsasjobbar p\u00e5. Ja \"leker\" kan man v\u00e4l ocks\u00e5 kalla det. Fast s\u00e5 brukade jag se p\u00e5 saker ocks\u00e5 d\u00e5 n\u00e4r jag verkligen \"jobbade\". Jo, jag har jobbat p\u00e5 riktigt jag med. Tro det eller ej. R\u00e4knar dessutom med att\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/ake_hedman_light.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/ake_hedman_light.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/ake_hedman_light.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/ake_hedman_light.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":47840,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=47840","url_meta":{"origin":35201,"position":2},"title":"Karma","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2024-06-02","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by David Gonzales on Pexels.com Det \u00e4r dags att f\u00e5 ut v\u00e4xter ut i v\u00e4xthusen. S\u00e5 K och jag b\u00f6rjar med det idag. Men v\u00e4xthus 2 beh\u00f6ver en plint gjuten ocks\u00e5 s\u00e5 en s\u00e5dan gjuter jag. N\u00e5ja fyra plintar. Men ute allts\u00e5. I sommaren. Det doftar liljekonvalj. 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S\u00e5klart. Som \u00f6verallt annars. Det \u00e4r vinter. Men tack och lov bor vi d\u00e4r finnar bosatte sig. Japp allts\u00e5 \u00e4r det fem eller tio grader varmare h\u00e4r \u00e4n d\u00e4r nere d\u00e4r floderna fl\u00f6dar. Japp alltid p\u00e5 toppen av ett berg och p\u00e5 r\u00e4tt sida\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"bondkakor","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/bondkakor.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":20675,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20675","url_meta":{"origin":35201,"position":4},"title":"Sommarlov","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-06-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Ingen riktig fart h\u00e4r. Soffan mest i helgen. Bok, jag, t\u00e4cke och K i den andra delen.\u00a0 Men f\u00f6ljt av ett f\u00f6rs\u00f6k till ett pass i en kall studio. Ett som ges upp. F\u00f6r kallt. Att sitta still i det kalla g\u00f6r att m\u00e4rgen fryser. 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Man tar hammaren och sl\u00e5r den h\u00e5rt i st\u00e4det. Klooooo0OOOO..........ng, n\u00e4r gr\u00e4sklipparen inte l\u00e4ngre vill g\u00e5. S\u00e5klart blir det med v\u00e4nsterarmen, svagheten, men \u00e4nd\u00e5. Skit! Liksom! J\u00c4VLA SKIT! rent av. Men riktig sommar idag. H\u00e4rligt. Det g\u00e5r inte att komma ifr\u00e5n. Man m\u00e5ste minnas att det nyss var\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_20190524_151454873_HDR.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_20190524_151454873_HDR.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_20190524_151454873_HDR.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_20190524_151454873_HDR.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_20190524_151454873_HDR.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/IMG_20190524_151454873_HDR.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-99L","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35201","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35201"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35201\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35203,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35201\/revisions\/35203"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}