{"id":35152,"date":"2020-06-01T08:55:45","date_gmt":"2020-06-01T07:55:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35152"},"modified":"2020-06-01T08:56:11","modified_gmt":"2020-06-01T07:56:11","slug":"gladje-och-sorg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35152","title":{"rendered":"Gl\u00e4dje och sorg"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Det finns en obeskrivlig gl\u00e4dje i att se igen. Ofattbart \u00e4r vad det \u00e4r. Man skall nog ha varit inne i den d\u00e4r gr\u00e5 v\u00e4rlden sj\u00e4lv om man p\u00e5 riktigt skall f\u00f6rst\u00e5 hur sk\u00f6nt det \u00e4r med sk\u00e4rpa och f\u00e4rger igen. Imorgon \u00e4r det dags f\u00f6r operation av det andra \u00f6gat. Jag har haft n\u00e5gon slags ledsyn p\u00e5 det \u00f6gat under hela mitt liv. Men lite syn ger \u00e4nd\u00e5 lite 3D seende och periferisyn s\u00e5 jag \u00e4r glad att jag f\u00e5r fixa det \u00f6gat ocks\u00e5 \u00e4ven om skillnaden inte blir lika stor d\u00e4r efter operation \u00e4ven om katarakten var v\u00e4rre. Tror faktiskt jag k\u00e4nner mig lite piggare till och med efter det h\u00e4r. Det \u00e4r anstr\u00e4ngande f\u00f6r ett huvud att hela tiden f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka kompensera f\u00f6r d\u00e5ligt seende.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men sorgen \u00f6ver en v\u00e4n som g\u00e5tt bort \u00e4r motvikt till gl\u00e4djen jag k\u00e4nner nu n\u00e4r jag ser igen. Backa-Jan du saknas mig<\/em>. Sn\u00e4llare gubbe fanns inte. Osj\u00e4lviskheten personifierad. Du skulle ha f\u00e5tt m\u00e5nga, m\u00e5nga \u00e5r till om jag hade f\u00e5tt best\u00e4mma. Jag kommer alltid t\u00e4nka p\u00e5 dig n\u00e4r jag \u00e4ter \u00e5rets f\u00f6rsta semla. Den du alltid levererade, men aldrig kommer att leverera igen. Sorgen tynger mitt hj\u00e4rta. En stor tung sten att b\u00e4ra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast numera finns d\u00e5 s\u00e5klart egentligen inget att klaga p\u00e5 h\u00e4rifr\u00e5n. Ute \u00e4r det sommar. Sj\u00e4lv sitter jag h\u00e4r i kortbyxor men alla f\u00f6nster \u00f6ppna. Jag ser. Har inte ont. Ja och jag vet ju att vi som f\u00e5r leva vidare – v\u00e4lf\u00f6rtj\u00e4nt eller inte – m\u00e5ste verkligen leva livet. Allt annat \u00e4r en f\u00f6rol\u00e4mpning mot dem som inte f\u00e5tt det. Vi m\u00e5ste skratta, festa, njuta, \u00e4lska, och uppleva allt annat gott ocks\u00e5 f\u00f6r dem som inte l\u00e4ngre f\u00e5r uppleva det d\u00e4r. Att inte g\u00f6ra det. Att kl\u00e4 sig i svart och svartsint g\u00e5 in i sorgen \u00e4r den stora f\u00f6rol\u00e4mpningen mot livet. Att leva s\u00e5 full tut som vi f\u00f6rm\u00e5r \u00e4r den b\u00e4sta hedersbetydelse vi kan ge de vi s\u00f6rjer och saknar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi har grejat i tr\u00e4dg\u00e5rden hela helgen. Njutit av solen, f\u00e5gels\u00e5ngen och att bygga med virke som aldrig tidigare byggts med. Nyvirke tillh\u00f6r inte vanligheterna h\u00e4r. En lyx s\u00e5klart, att f\u00e5 s\u00e5ga i plankor som l\u00e5ter sig s\u00e5gas som om de var sm\u00f6r i solsken. S\u00e5gen, en g\u00e5va fr\u00e5n en v\u00e4n f\u00f6r m\u00e5nga \u00e5r sedan, \u00e4r ocks\u00e5 den en lyx. Dyrare \u00e4n de billiga jag har brukat k\u00f6pa. En enorm skillnad. Jag kommer aldrig att k\u00f6pa en billig s\u00e5g igen. Inte om jag inte \u00e4r tvungen i alla fall. Annars \u00e4r det just priset som n\u00e4stan alltid f\u00e4ller avg\u00f6randet h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Koltrasten d\u00e5? Jod\u00e5 den sjunger sin s\u00e5ng. Undertecknad njuter. \u00d6ppet f\u00f6nster hela natten. F\u00f6tter utan skor. Fil och macka ute till lunch. Mer beg\u00e4r jag inte. Hur skulle man kunna beg\u00e4ra mer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ig\u00e5r kom svalorna. Ankomst ungef\u00e4r tv\u00e5 veckor senare \u00e4n brukligt. De h\u00e4lsar alltid n\u00e4r de kommer. Swishar ner n\u00e4ra ens huvud. \u00c4lskar det ocks\u00e5. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Liv som g\u00e5r vidare. Det \u00e4r s\u00e5 det \u00e4r. Tiden r\u00f6r sig fram\u00e5t. Man f\u00e5r f\u00f6lja med den. Vi v\u00e4ntar fortfarande p\u00e5 \u00e4ppelblom h\u00e4r. Bilden ovan \u00e4r sex \u00e5r gammal. Ocks\u00e5 den 1\/6. Det \u00e4r olika. Onormalt \u00e4r det normala. Det finns egentligen inte en endaste tr\u00e5kig dag.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Det finns en obeskrivlig gl\u00e4dje i att se igen. Ofattbart \u00e4r vad det \u00e4r. Man skall nog ha varit inne i den d\u00e4r gr\u00e5 v\u00e4rlden sj\u00e4lv om man p\u00e5 riktigt skall f\u00f6rst\u00e5 hur sk\u00f6nt det \u00e4r med sk\u00e4rpa och f\u00e4rger igen. Imorgon \u00e4r det dags f\u00f6r operation av det andra \u00f6gat. Jag har haft n\u00e5gon […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":50942,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=50942","url_meta":{"origin":35152,"position":0},"title":"Onda \u00f6gat","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2026-01-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Det k\u00e4nns som att ha ledigt att sitta och jobba. Tv\u00e4rtom k\u00e4ndes det tidigare n\u00e4r man renoverade. Konstigt. Lagom av b\u00e5da borde det k\u00e4nnas som om man var ledig j\u00e4mt allts\u00e5. Ja och det \u00e4r man ju. Pension\u00e4r liksom. N\u00e5ja, \u00e4lskar \u00e4nd\u00e5 att sitta h\u00e4r och grotta ner mig. K\u00e4nner\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/IMG_20260113_101659_025-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/IMG_20260113_101659_025-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/IMG_20260113_101659_025-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/IMG_20260113_101659_025-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/IMG_20260113_101659_025-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/IMG_20260113_101659_025-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17379,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17379","url_meta":{"origin":35152,"position":1},"title":"M\u00e4nniskor \u00e4r olika","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-04-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Jod\u00e5 det \u00e4r h\u00e4rligt att jobba. Och man f\u00e5r kaffe efter lunch vid skrivbordet. Lyxigt liksom. Tv\u00e5 koppar brukar det bli. Idag med. En f\u00f6r mycket, men skit samma. Livet \u00e4r gott h\u00e4r i kodfabriken. G\u00e4vleborg har 60 ggr mer ADHD diagnoser \u00e4n landet i \u00f6vrigt. N\u00e5gon uttalar sig om\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"2015-04-07_12-52-47","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2015-04-07_12-52-47.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2015-04-07_12-52-47.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2015-04-07_12-52-47.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/2015-04-07_12-52-47.png?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15327,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=15327","url_meta":{"origin":35152,"position":2},"title":"Har man sl\u00e4ppt en release s\u00e5 har man.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-11-14","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag sitter h\u00e4r och hoppar mellan sk\u00e4rmarna p\u00e5 min Windows maskin (som nu \u00e4r r\u00e4tt nyinstallerad, sk\u00f6n och klickbar) och min d\u00e5 l\u00e5ngsiktigt mer stabila Linux burk. Bara s\u00e5d\u00e4r liksom. Tittar lite p\u00e5 den ena och switchar sedan \u00f6ver och tittar lite p\u00e5 den andra. Har man sl\u00e4ppt en release\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"1962838_10201828212848274_2030370296_n","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/1962838_10201828212848274_2030370296_n.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/1962838_10201828212848274_2030370296_n.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/1962838_10201828212848274_2030370296_n.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":24361,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24361","url_meta":{"origin":35152,"position":3},"title":"Att vakna upp igen","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-05-16","format":false,"excerpt":"Mitt normala vakna upp \u00e4r lite \"jippie en ny h\u00e4rlig dag igen\", ja faktiskt, de flesta dagarna \u00e4r de s\u00e5, glad \u00e4r jag \u00f6ver att f\u00e5 en ny dag. Jag har ju som sextio\u00e5ring ett begr\u00e4nsat antal dagar kvar, \u00e4r v\u00e4l medveten om det, och jag skall definitivt inte kasta\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/axel.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":40593,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40593","url_meta":{"origin":35152,"position":4},"title":"Julf\u00f6rberedelser","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2021-12-12","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com Jag s\u00e4tter mig i studion och f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker f\u00e5 till n\u00e5got. Men det hj\u00e4lper inte att jag befinner mig i helt r\u00e4tt mod. det blir inget. Lika bra det kanske. Man f\u00e5r n\u00f6ja sig med det som \u00e4r ibland. Fast skulle beh\u00f6va ta mig igenom en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"christmas tree with baubles","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/pexels-photo-717988.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/pexels-photo-717988.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/pexels-photo-717988.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/pexels-photo-717988.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/pexels-photo-717988.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/pexels-photo-717988.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8183,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=8183","url_meta":{"origin":35152,"position":5},"title":"Horisonten","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-08-04","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag har sett havet idag. Obruten horisont. Egentligen \u00e4r det det enda jag beh\u00f6ver. Lukten av ruttnande t\u00e5ng, vindarna, n\u00e5gra t\u00e4rnor och m\u00e5sar och just det, obruten horisont. F\u00f6r nog anar man att det \u00e4r ett runt klot man st\u00e5r p\u00e5 n\u00e4r man ser havet f\u00f6rsvinna d\u00e4r i fj\u00e4rran och\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"horisont","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/horisont.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/horisont.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/horisont.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-98Y","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35152","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35152"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35152\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35155,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35152\/revisions\/35155"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35152"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35152"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35152"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}