{"id":33368,"date":"2019-10-29T09:20:33","date_gmt":"2019-10-29T08:20:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=33368"},"modified":"2019-10-29T09:20:33","modified_gmt":"2019-10-29T08:20:33","slug":"ta-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=33368","title":{"rendered":"Ta i"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Jag sitter h\u00e4r och dricker kaffe. V\u00e4ntar p\u00e5 att telefonen skall ringa. Tv\u00e5 samtal kan jag f\u00f6rv\u00e4nta mig. Det ena vill jag ha. Det andra vill jag inte ha. B\u00e5da kommer antagligen fr\u00e5n ok\u00e4nda nummer. Japp, man m\u00e5ste allts\u00e5 svara. F\u00f6rs\u00e4ljare har en chans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det blir som det blir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ute sol. D\u00e4rf\u00f6r alla persienner neddragna h\u00e4r p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsaskontoret. Det tar emot s\u00e5klart. Man vill ju egentligen ha in s\u00e5 mycket ljus som det bara g\u00e5r. Men teknikens begr\u00e4nsningar vinner. Det \u00e4r hur dumt som helst. Eftergifter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En iskall vind fr\u00e5n nordv\u00e4st ilar fram \u00f6ver kullen samtidigt. Gamla skolhus \u00e4r inte byggda f\u00f6r de d\u00e4r nordliga vindarna. Ger dem fri entr\u00e9 in i lokaler som k\u00e4mpar f\u00f6r att h\u00e5lla sig rimligt tempererade. Den enda tr\u00f6st man har \u00e4r att det blir v\u00e4rre och allts\u00e5 \u00e4r r\u00e4tt OK nu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast om sanningen skal fram. Inte sitter jag h\u00e4r och v\u00e4ntar. Fast jag v\u00e4ntar. Men “sitter”. Som i betydelsen “inte g\u00f6r n\u00e5got”. S\u00e5klart inte. Det finns alltid l\u00e5tsasarbete. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vill bara f\u00f6rtydliga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Om n\u00e5gra dagar blir jag sextiotre. Men det \u00e4r bara siffror. K\u00e4nns inte annorlunda p\u00e5 n\u00e5got enda s\u00e4tt \u00e4n fyrtiotre. Jag har samma l\u00e4ngtan, samma energi, samma vilja att utvecklas. S\u00e5 dagen f\u00e5r passera. Som andra dagar. Eftergiften bli Per Gessles “F\u00f6delsedag” som av tradition spelas h\u00e4r p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsaskontoret just den dagen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men livet \u00e4r gott. Hur skulle det kunna vara p\u00e5 n\u00e5got annat s\u00e4tt? Jag grejar p\u00e5. Finner n\u00f6je i det. Jo, jo, jo, visst skall man kanske anpassa sig efter omv\u00e4rlden. Problemet \u00e4r bara att omv\u00e4rlden absolut inte vet ett dugg om vad man vill ha och beh\u00f6ver. De flesta f\u00f6ljer “John”. Eller “Jonna” om vi nu skall vara k\u00f6nsneutrala. Ja och det tycker jag man kan kosta p\u00e5 sig. “John\/Jonna” vet iof inte heller vad dom vill ha eller beh\u00f6ver. Men \u00e4r snygga. Eller rika. Syns p\u00e5 TV. M\u00e5ste allts\u00e5 veta. K\u00e4nna sanningen. Den som \u00e4r f\u00f6rdold f\u00f6r oss andra. Som de gjorde redan p\u00e5 h\u00f6gstadiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Har aldrig f\u00f6ljt flocken sj\u00e4lv. Ingen vits att b\u00f6rja med det nu. S\u00e5klart \u00e4r det inte det. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men nu s\u00e5. L\u00e5t denna vackra f\u00f6rvinterdag b\u00f6rja. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jag sitter h\u00e4r och dricker kaffe. V\u00e4ntar p\u00e5 att telefonen skall ringa. Tv\u00e5 samtal kan jag f\u00f6rv\u00e4nta mig. Det ena vill jag ha. Det andra vill jag inte ha. B\u00e5da kommer antagligen fr\u00e5n ok\u00e4nda nummer. Japp, man m\u00e5ste allts\u00e5 svara. F\u00f6rs\u00e4ljare har en chans. Det blir som det blir. Ute sol. D\u00e4rf\u00f6r alla persienner neddragna […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":20995,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20995","url_meta":{"origin":33368,"position":0},"title":"JA! s\u00e4ger jag","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-07-11","format":false,"excerpt":"Regnv\u00e4dersdag. Jobbdag allts\u00e5. Och jag jobbar. Men det \u00e4r inte med den vanliga koncentrationen. Men det \u00e4r som det \u00e4r. Fram\u00e5t g\u00e5r det i alla fall \u00e4ven om det tycks r\u00f6ra sig d\u00e4r\u00e5t med snigelfart. Jag beh\u00f6ver komma loss. En bekant r\u00f6r sig genom Sverige med l\u00e4tthet nu i dagarna.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"3303064_1200_675","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/3303064_1200_675.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/3303064_1200_675.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/3303064_1200_675.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18195,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18195","url_meta":{"origin":33368,"position":1},"title":"“Brandmannen” i Bolln\u00e4s och jag h\u00e4lsar i samf\u00f6rst\u00e5nd.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-06-29","format":false,"excerpt":"Guld faller fr\u00e5n himlen ner p\u00e5 mina axlar. Det hj\u00e4lper inte. Gr\u00e4smattan utanf\u00f6r f\u00f6nstret \u00e4r fylld med vita blomblad fr\u00e5n \u00e4ppeltr\u00e4d och k\u00f6rsb\u00e4rstr\u00e4d. Det hj\u00e4lper inte heller. Sommaren \u00e4r \u00e4ntligen h\u00e4r p\u00e5 riktigt. Inte ens det hj\u00e4lper. Det bl\u00e5 har f\u00e5ngat mig, jag vill h\u00f6ra musik i moll, sura lite\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"katt_under_trad","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/katt_under_trad-490x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18968,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18968","url_meta":{"origin":33368,"position":2},"title":"En bel\u00f6ning i sig","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-11-09","format":false,"excerpt":"Det kan inte hj\u00e4lpas. Jag l\u00e4ngtar till veckans f\u00f6rsta arbetsdag. Som den h\u00e4r morgonen n\u00e4r jag knappt kan h\u00e5lla mig fr\u00e5n att rusa ner till kontoret innan frukosten \u00e4r upp\u00e4ten. Att flinande f\u00e5 g\u00e5 ner till kontoret och b\u00f6rja veckan \u00e4r ett av gl\u00e4dje\u00e4mnena i mitt liv. Att g\u00f6ra mina\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"337492","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/337492.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/337492.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/337492.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/337492.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14483,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=14483","url_meta":{"origin":33368,"position":3},"title":"En halv kopp","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-08-25","format":false,"excerpt":"Jo tack. Det har varit en skaplig natt. I alla fall om man bortser fr\u00e5n att jag vaknade vid tretiden r\u00e4tt svetting av att en av mina goda kamrater fr\u00e5n f\u00f6rr f\u00f6rs\u00f6kte sl\u00e5 ihj\u00e4l mig med en k\u00e4pp\u00a0n\u00e4r jag kom in genom l\u00e4genhetsd\u00f6rren. Hade jag inte vaknat vet jag inte\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Blommor","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Blommor-1024x702.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Blommor-1024x702.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Blommor-1024x702.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2522,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=2522","url_meta":{"origin":33368,"position":4},"title":"Gott nytt \u00e5r!","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2012-12-30","format":false,"excerpt":"Det st\u00e5r ett nytt \u00e5r f\u00f6r d\u00f6rren. Inget s\u00e4rskilt egentligen s\u00e5klart. Det \u00e4r en mental konstruktion det d\u00e4r \"nya\". Tiden och dagarna tickar p\u00e5 som vanligt \u00e4nd\u00e5. Trotts allt \u00e4r den h\u00e4r konstruktionen lite speciell. Den lovar att nya saker skall h\u00e4nda. Att det finns hopp. Eller tv\u00e4rtom. 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Sulan lossnar. \"Flipp\". \"Flapp\". \"Flopp\". s\u00e5d\u00e4r. Bara att kasta. Men anv\u00e4nda som \"finskor\" - allts\u00e5 f\u00f6r daglig anv\u00e4ndning - ett \u00e5r och sen kanske sex \u00e5r som jobbarskor \u00e4r inte d\u00e5ligt f\u00f6r tre hundra lappar i ink\u00f6p. Mer ger jag s\u00e4llan f\u00f6r mina skor. 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