{"id":33327,"date":"2019-10-21T22:39:04","date_gmt":"2019-10-21T21:39:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=33327"},"modified":"2019-10-21T22:39:04","modified_gmt":"2019-10-21T21:39:04","slug":"jag-ger-upp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=33327","title":{"rendered":"Jag ger upp"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Jag ger upp. Lite tidigare \u00e4n vanligt. \u00d6gon grusas. M\u00e5ne f\u00f6rkylning p\u00e5 v\u00e4g. Vill inte. Hinner inte. Men d\u00e4r finns inte val. M\u00f6jligen vitl\u00f6k. Eller annan huskur. Men jag st\u00e5r upp. Tar emot. Om det nu blir s\u00e5. Det vet man imorgon. Om det sn\u00f6rvlas. Om ocool gubbe vill ligga kvar i s\u00e4ngen n\u00e4r han borde g\u00e5 upp. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00e5 sjukhuset. Senast och f\u00f6re det och f\u00f6re det. Jag beh\u00f6ver ingen bed\u00f6vning. De flesta, ja n\u00e4stan alla, beh\u00f6ver det s\u00e4ger sk\u00f6terskan. Det \u00e4r beundransv\u00e4rt tydligen. Och jag t\u00e4nker p\u00e5 mannen p\u00e5 sjukhuset som gick igenom samma operation som jag. Han som hade s\u00e5 j\u00e4vla ont. Morfinerade sig n\u00e4r jag klarade mig med Alvedon. T\u00e4nker att man \u00e4r olika. Inte b\u00e4ttre eller s\u00e4mre. Vi har bara olika konstruktion. Sm\u00e4rta \u00c4R personligt och d\u00e4rmed basta. Och \u00e5t helvete med det d\u00e4r beundransv\u00e4rda. T\u00e4nk om de som har ondare k\u00e4nner saker som jag aldrig kommer ett f\u00e5 k\u00e4nna. T\u00e4nk om en smekning av deras k\u00e4resta ocks\u00e5 k\u00e4nns tusen g\u00e5nger mer \u00e4n en smekning g\u00f6r av min k\u00e4resta p\u00e5 min arm. Vem \u00e4r f\u00f6rloraren d\u00e5? Vem har den mest beundransv\u00e4rda nervupps\u00e4ttningen d\u00e5? Vi \u00e4r olika. Allesammans. Tittar man fr\u00e5n olika vinklar \u00e4r vi alla en av de beundransv\u00e4rda. De som bara ser ett \u00e4r bara dumma i huvudet. Fast det vet vi ju. Har alltid vetat. \u00c4nd\u00e5 styr de och st\u00e4ller i s\u00e5 mycket t\u00e4nkande och g\u00f6rande. \u00c5t helvete med det.’<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu soptunna, hulk, bok. Sen sova. Imorgon \u00e4r en annan dag. F\u00f6rkyld eller inte \u00e5terst\u00e5r att se. Nu ger jag upp f\u00f6r ikv\u00e4ll. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

God natt!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jag ger upp. Lite tidigare \u00e4n vanligt. \u00d6gon grusas. M\u00e5ne f\u00f6rkylning p\u00e5 v\u00e4g. Vill inte. Hinner inte. Men d\u00e4r finns inte val. M\u00f6jligen vitl\u00f6k. Eller annan huskur. Men jag st\u00e5r upp. Tar emot. Om det nu blir s\u00e5. Det vet man imorgon. Om det sn\u00f6rvlas. Om ocool gubbe vill ligga kvar i s\u00e4ngen n\u00e4r han […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2327,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=2327","url_meta":{"origin":33327,"position":0},"title":"Tankar i kv\u00e4llen","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2012-12-09","format":false,"excerpt":"Till Hudiksvall \u00e5ker man i mitt fall av en av tv\u00e5 anledningar. 1.) 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