Det d\u00e4r efter-midsommar-m\u00f6rkret \u00e4r h\u00e4r till stora delar. N\u00e4stan helt och h\u00e5llet. Jag har aldrig fattat hur de ljusa sommarn\u00e4tterna runt midsommar s\u00e5 snabbt f\u00f6rvandlas till m\u00f6rka n\u00e4tter efter\u00e5t. Varf\u00f6r smyger de sig p\u00e5 de ljusa n\u00e4tterna och varf\u00f6r \u00e5ker sedan rullgardinen ner s\u00e5 snabbt. Jag \u00e4lskar ju de d\u00e4r ljusa n\u00e4tterna. De som \u00e4r magiska h\u00e4r p\u00e5 +400 meter. Men i \u00e5r \u00e4r det f\u00f6rsent f\u00f6r att uppleva dem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
F\u00e5glarna sjunger i alla fall fortfarande. Tack och lov f\u00f6r det. F\u00f6rra \u00e5ret tystnade allt efter midsommarhelgen. I \u00e5r fortg\u00e5r det. H\u00e4rligt. Gratis. En g\u00e5va till m\u00e4nskligheten. \u00c5tminstone till dem som \u00e4r mottagliga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vi \u00e4gnar kv\u00e4llarna \u00e5t film. Letar upp n\u00e5gon osedd. \u00c4r den f\u00f6r d\u00e5lig f\u00e5r man greppa en bok. Semester. Lyx. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tr\u00f6tt \u00e4r jag s\u00e5klart. M\u00e5ste st\u00f6dsova d\u00e5 och d\u00e5. Klarar inte hela dagar hur \u00e4n jag f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker. Men det g\u00e5r att leva med. Den d\u00e4r antibiotikatr\u00f6ttheten. Det d\u00f6r alldeles f\u00f6r m\u00e5nga v\u00e4nner ocks\u00e5 i kroppen under en behandling. Medicinernas tr\u00e4ffs\u00e4kerhet \u00e4r inte den b\u00e4sta. Synd. Man \u00e4r kung d\u00e4r i sin egen kropp. Vill den mer v\u00e4l \u00e4n s\u00e5. H\u00e5ll ut s\u00e4ger man till “sitt folk<\/em>“. Miljarder celler\/bakterier\/virus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kullen som blev mitt och v\u00e5rt hem. T\u00e4nka sig. Vem kunde tro det n\u00e4r man var tjugo. Los av alla st\u00e4llen. Jag som l\u00e4ngtade till Stockholm s\u00e5 att jag n\u00e4stan gick s\u00f6nder. Men kom ju dit s\u00e5klart. N\u00e5ja, till T\u00e4by. Gillade. Mycket. Gillar fortfarande. Mycket. Men beh\u00f6ver det h\u00e4r, det som finns h\u00e4r som grund. Stockholm \u00e4r och var jobb f\u00f6r mig. D\u00e4r, d\u00e4r allt \u00e4r m\u00f6jligt. Men resten. Positioneringarna. Likformigheten. Alla de d\u00e4r m\u00e4nniskorna som \u00e4r s\u00e5 r\u00e4dda f\u00f6r att inte passa in… nej det fungerade inte f\u00f6r mig. Jag vill verkligen inte passa in. Har aldrig gjort. Jag har alltid g\u00e5tt min v\u00e4g. Den som ibland, korta stunder i alla fall, g\u00e5tt bredvid andras v\u00e4g. Men oftast inte. Nope. D\u00e4ri finns ingen sorg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sommarn\u00e4tter f\u00f6r l\u00e4nge sedan var musik, Vi kunde spela i olika konstellationer en hel natt. De som fanns d\u00e4r just f\u00f6r tillf\u00e4llet bara. Ibland h\u00f6ll vi p\u00e5 till fyra. Eller tills grannarna ringde och klagade. Men vi l\u00e4rde oss att ha f\u00f6nster st\u00e4ngda i sommarnatten. D\u00e5 st\u00f6rde vi ingen i den d\u00e4r gamla ungdomsg\u00e5rden. Ibland var man lycklig i det d\u00e4r. Det gick liksom inte annat. Lycklig mitt i allt annat som kanske inte alltid var lycka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Men jag kan sakna det d\u00e4r. Men bara som ett minne. Inser ju att \u00e5ka tillbaks i tiden \u00e4rt om\u00f6jligt. Det \u00e4r bara fram\u00e5t som g\u00e4ller. Reunions \u00e4r bara crap. Skit. Besvikelsernas besvikelse. Skulle aldrig f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka ta mig tillbaks. \u00c4nd\u00e5 undrar jag vad det blev av en del… Vilka de blev till till slut. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Fast nu skall jag l\u00e4sa en stund. Noveller. \u00c4lskar novellb\u00f6cker. Perfekt l\u00e4sning innan man sover. Man orkar precis med en om man \u00e4r tr\u00f6tt. Tv\u00e5 om man \u00e4r lite mer stirrig. H\u00e4mtar upp material f\u00f6r egna dr\u00f6mmar fr\u00e5n det d\u00e4r. Dr\u00f6mmar som jag aldrig kommer ih\u00e5g men som jag vet finns d\u00e4r. Jod\u00e5. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Det \u00e4r s\u00e5 det \u00e4r. H\u00e4r p\u00e5 en kulle. D\u00e4r, d\u00e4r du befinner dig. Bra kan man tycka. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Liksom<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Det d\u00e4r efter-midsommar-m\u00f6rkret \u00e4r h\u00e4r till stora delar. N\u00e4stan helt och h\u00e5llet. Jag har aldrig fattat hur de ljusa sommarn\u00e4tterna runt midsommar s\u00e5 snabbt f\u00f6rvandlas till m\u00f6rka n\u00e4tter efter\u00e5t. Varf\u00f6r smyger de sig p\u00e5 de ljusa n\u00e4tterna och varf\u00f6r \u00e5ker sedan rullgardinen ner s\u00e5 snabbt. Jag \u00e4lskar ju de d\u00e4r ljusa n\u00e4tterna. De som \u00e4r […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":35170,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35170","url_meta":{"origin":32552,"position":0},"title":"Ljuset","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-06-03","format":false,"excerpt":"Nattens s\u00e4nker sig h\u00e4r i H\u00e4lsingland. Som den ju g\u00f6r den h\u00e4r tiden. Men m\u00f6rkt. Icke. Nu \u00e4r det de ljusa n\u00e4tternas tid. Det \u00e4r nu man skall ge sig ut mitt i natten efter skogsv\u00e4garna f\u00f6r att se djur och annat liv som finns d\u00e4r i skumljuset. Man kan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20170817_142919105_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20170817_142919105_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20170817_142919105_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20170817_142919105_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20170817_142919105_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":49902,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=49902","url_meta":{"origin":32552,"position":1},"title":"Dan f\u00f6re dan","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2025-06-19","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Freddie Ramm on Pexels.com Vi \u00e5ker rakt genom H\u00e4lsingland idag. Sk\u00e4r liksom en v\u00e4lsmakande t\u00e5rtbit genom det limegr\u00f6na landskapet. Det \u00e4r vackert. S\u00e5 vacker att man n\u00e4stan baxnar. Jag skulle sakna det h\u00e4r landet om jag inte bodde h\u00e4r. Landskapet ocks\u00e5. Men hade f\u00e5tt andra k\u00e4rlekar d\u00e5 s\u00e5klart.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"selective focus photo of blue and white flowers field","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-51548.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-51548.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-51548.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-51548.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-51548.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/pexels-photo-51548.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":28713,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=28713","url_meta":{"origin":32552,"position":2},"title":"\u00d6vermannad","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-05-29","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag har suttit nu i snart tretton timmar och skrivit, ja snarare \u00e4ndrat fr\u00e5n ett format till ett annat. Har h\u00e5llit p\u00e5 n\u00e5gra dar. Men ett riktigt jobb \u00e4r det inte s\u00e5klart. Jag vet ju att alla ni andra har riktiga och viktiga jobb. Det h\u00e4r \u00e4r bara p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsas.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180523_101158080-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180523_101158080-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180523_101158080-1024x576.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":48008,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=48008","url_meta":{"origin":32552,"position":3},"title":"Ingen topisk natt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2024-06-25","format":false,"excerpt":"En fantastisk dag. Tiondelar fr\u00e5n trettio grader.\u00a0 En sk\u00f6n ljummen smekande vind drar \u00f6ver kullen och det k\u00e4nns n\u00e4stan som om man \u00e4r vid havet h\u00e4r. Sj\u00f6bris en varm dag ni vet. Fast det \u00e4r man nu ju inte. Landbacke. En kulle ute i ingenstans. Tiotusen \u00e5r sedan havet n\u00e5dde\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/IMG_20240615_143646-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/IMG_20240615_143646-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/IMG_20240615_143646-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/IMG_20240615_143646-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/IMG_20240615_143646-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/IMG_20240615_143646-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6208,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=6208","url_meta":{"origin":32552,"position":4},"title":"(O)Ljus i natten","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-03-26","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag stod vid f\u00f6nstret och tittade en l\u00e5ng stund inatt. Bl\u00e5ljuset bara vr\u00e4ker ner \u00f6ver oss h\u00e4r i skogen just nu. P\u00e5 natten allts\u00e5. P\u00e5 dan \u00e4r det naturligtvis lika varmt vitt som i resten av Sverige h\u00e4r i Los ocks\u00e5. Ni som har f\u00f6ljt mina betraktelser \u00f6ver sakernas tillst\u00e5nd,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Full_Moon_Luc_Viatour","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Full_Moon_Luc_Viatour.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":28966,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=28966","url_meta":{"origin":32552,"position":5},"title":"N\u00e4sta vecka","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-06-15","format":false,"excerpt":"Halsbr\u00e4nna. Det \u00e4r s\u00e5 dagen b\u00f6rjar. Det var l\u00e4nge sedan jag hade just halsbr\u00e4nna. Fullst\u00e4ndigt oklart varf\u00f6r just denna morgon. Men Samarin. F\u00f6ljt av kaffe. Sen. Ingen halsbr\u00e4nna. Vilken av produkterna som hj\u00e4lpte l\u00e5ter jag vara osagt. Att \u00e5ka l\u00e5ngt bort k\u00e4nns lockande. L\u00e5ngt bort. D\u00e4r det finns hav. Hur\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/IMG_0303-e1528890902887-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/IMG_0303-e1528890902887-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/IMG_0303-e1528890902887-768x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-8t2","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=32552"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32552\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":45310,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32552\/revisions\/45310"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=32552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=32552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=32552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}