{"id":32530,"date":"2019-07-13T16:59:07","date_gmt":"2019-07-13T15:59:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=32530"},"modified":"2019-07-13T16:59:07","modified_gmt":"2019-07-13T15:59:07","slug":"tornkronan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=32530","title":{"rendered":"T\u00f6rnkronan"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Man lever. Jag har alltid uppskattat det. Inte bara ibland. Utan varje dag. N\u00e5ja, n\u00e4stan. Insikten d\u00e4rvidlag, kr\u00e4ver s\u00e5klart att man k\u00e4nner d\u00f6den jaga en i hasorna. S\u00e5klart g\u00f6r det det. Trygghet. Blindhet. Of\u00f6rm\u00e5ga att se v\u00e4rlden och livet f\u00f6r vad det \u00e4r i varje \u00f6gonblick g\u00f6r att man uppskattar det goda man har mindre och \u00f6verskattar det onda. Det onda \u00e4r s\u00e4llan s\u00e5 ont. Det goda \u00e4r alltid godare \u00e4n vad man normalt etiketterar det med.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pigg. Relativt. Det \u00e4r l\u00e4tt att leva. Sjukskriven i m\u00e5nader. Vad det nu skall spela f\u00f6r roll egentligen. Men s\u00e5 \u00e4r det. Och mer blir det. Men vid got mod allts\u00e5. L\u00e4tt s\u00e5klart om man inte \u00e4r s\u00e5 d\u00e4r infektionstr\u00f6tt. S\u00e5 som man blir. Tydligen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aff\u00e4ren. \u00d6ppet f\u00f6nster. Man blir del i andra m\u00e4nniskors diskussion. Fast man bara sitter d\u00e4r. Jag f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker verka ointresserad. Men h\u00f6r ju. Br\u00f6det. Badaredagen. Planering f\u00f6r Loosvecka. F\u00e5r en fr\u00e5ga om hur det \u00e4r med axeln, S\u00e5d\u00e4r i f\u00f6rbig\u00e5ende. Uppskattar omtanken. Men vad skall man svara. F\u00e5r ur mig n\u00e5got kryptiskt. Den fr\u00e5gande ser konfunderad ut. Ja, det \u00e4t v\u00e4l jag som inte lyckas f\u00f6rklara. Det som skulle ha kr\u00e4vt f\u00f6r m\u00e5nga ord. De m\u00e5nga ordens forum \u00e4r h\u00e4r inte d\u00e4r. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men stannar mest inne idag. L\u00e4ser liggandes p\u00e5 soffan. Beh\u00f6ver det d\u00e4r. F\u00f6r ofta egentligen antagligen. Det finns m\u00e5nga m\u00e5sten kvar att ta sig ann. De jag borde hugga tag i. Men jag tar mig den d\u00e4r friheten. Sk\u00e4ms inte ens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e4r K har duschat sitter en fladdermus p\u00e5 hennes kl\u00e4der n\u00e4r hon kommer tillbaks till sovrummet. Det h\u00e4nder d\u00e5 och d\u00e5 att de letar sig in. De \u00e4r s\u00e5klart v\u00e4nner allesammans, vi har tv\u00e5 kolonier h\u00e4r, och bor dom ocks\u00e5 h\u00e4r i huset. Men fr\u00e4ser n\u00e4r man n\u00e4rmar sig g\u00f6r de ju i alla fall s\u00e5klart. Os\u00e4kra p\u00e5 om vi \u00e4r d\u00f6den eller livet s\u00e5klart som kommer d\u00e4r och klampar. Men medelst enarmsv\u00e4nster kan jag f\u00f6rpassa den h\u00e4r, trolig dr\u00e4ktig hona, ut i friheten igen. Tick – tick – tick i h\u00e5rda st\u00f6tar kommer det alltid fr\u00e5n n\u00e4ven n\u00e4r man har dem d\u00e4r. Vet inte om det \u00e4r sj\u00e4lva ekolodet eller “bara” n\u00e5gon slags d\u00f6dsstr\u00e5le f\u00f6r att s\u00e4nka den d\u00e4r f\u00e5ngstmannen det d\u00e4r. Men \u00e5tminstone h\u00e4r \u00e4r jag den gode. Jag har sl\u00e4ppt ut ett rej\u00e4lt antal vid det h\u00e4r laget. Oftast efter en ganska omfattande jakt inomhus f\u00f6r att f\u00e5 tag i dem. S\u00e5 inte denna g\u00e5ng. Det g\u00e5r lugnt och v\u00e4rdigt till.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MUSIK<\/strong> ropar den del av min hj\u00e4rna som kr\u00e4ver just musik. Det \u00e4r lustigt att det verkligen \u00e4r ett behov. Mer \u00e4n mat. Mer \u00e4n socker. Jag M\u00c5STE<\/strong> ha musik. Annars… ja vem vet? Men det \u00e4r d\u00e4rf\u00f6r jag g\u00e5r ner. S\u00e4tter mig p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsaskontoret. Vr\u00e4ker p\u00e5. Full volym. Metallica. Njuter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men helst vill jag skapa “musik” ocks\u00e5 s\u00e5klart. M\u00e5ste f\u00e5 fart p\u00e5 den d\u00e4r kraschade musikmaskinen igen. Men det kr\u00e4ver en regnig dag. Kanske tv\u00e5. Ja om nu alla m\u00e5sten hinner betas av innan en s\u00e5dan dag infinner sig. Ja ja ingen st\u00f6rre tragedi \u00e4r det v\u00e4l. Bara l\u00e4ngtan som f\u00e5r st\u00e5 tillbaks. Vi beh\u00f6ver alla l\u00e4ngta lite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu t\u00e4nker jag explodera. Lite. Vi h\u00f6rs…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Man lever. Jag har alltid uppskattat det. Inte bara ibland. Utan varje dag. N\u00e5ja, n\u00e4stan. Insikten d\u00e4rvidlag, kr\u00e4ver s\u00e5klart att man k\u00e4nner d\u00f6den jaga en i hasorna. S\u00e5klart g\u00f6r det det. Trygghet. Blindhet. Of\u00f6rm\u00e5ga att se v\u00e4rlden och livet f\u00f6r vad det \u00e4r i varje \u00f6gonblick g\u00f6r att man uppskattar det goda man har mindre […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":29269,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=29269","url_meta":{"origin":32530,"position":0},"title":"Bl\u00e5 himmel","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-07-11","format":false,"excerpt":"Planen mot Amerika forsar fram \u00f6ver mitt huvud. De \u00e4r ganska m\u00e5nga varje dag. Destination Chicago, New York, Miami, Los Angeles osv. Min farfars farfars systrar fick ta b\u00e5ten h\u00e4rifr\u00e5n Los, H\u00e4ssjaberg, till G\u00e4vle, till Liverpool, till New York. I sina vildaste dr\u00f6mmar kunde de inte tro att man en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/IMG_20170701_165816925_HDR.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/IMG_20170701_165816925_HDR.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/IMG_20170701_165816925_HDR.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18341,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18341","url_meta":{"origin":32530,"position":1},"title":"Hela hj\u00e4rtat skall med","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-08-01","format":false,"excerpt":"Min vecka av jobb har landat i helg men det som skulle vara den f\u00f6rsta jobbveckan blev S\u00f6rmland och landsbygd och en sv\u00e4rfar p\u00e5 intensiven. Livet hinner fatt en. Alltid \u00e4r det s\u00e5 och det \u00e4r s\u00e5klart s\u00e5 det skall vara ocks\u00e5. Men hemma nu. Skulle g\u00f6ra s\u00e5 mycket idag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"heartapple_119500478","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/heartapple_119500478.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":40401,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40401","url_meta":{"origin":32530,"position":2},"title":"Pepparkakor och ditt med datt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2021-11-24","format":false,"excerpt":"Tar en bunt pepparkakor. En \"bunt\" enligt min definition \u00e4r det som ryms mellan tumme och pekfinger. Har man sen r\u00e4tt stora h\u00e4nder... ja d\u00e5... Fast gott. Liksom. Papparkakor fanns alltid hemma. S\u00e5 att \u00e4ta dom blir lite som att \u00f6ppna det d\u00e4r nedre sk\u00e5pet och ta sig n\u00e5gra med\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/IMG_20211023_164358.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":25842,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=25842","url_meta":{"origin":32530,"position":3},"title":"Allhelgonahelg","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-11-05","format":false,"excerpt":"Vi tar det lugnt. G\u00f6r inte s\u00e5 mycket. Men t\u00e4nder ljus och s\u00e4tter upp pelare, matar f\u00e5glar, b\u00e4r in lite grejer och K g\u00f6r en sm\u00f6rg\u00e5st\u00e5rta. Allt annat \u00e4r vila. Det \u00e4r r\u00e4tt OK. Kravl\u00f6st. \u00c5terh\u00e4mtning. Vi lever men anstr\u00e4nger oss inte s\u00e5 oerh\u00f6rt f\u00f6r att bevisa det f\u00f6r omv\u00e4rlden.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/IMG_20171105_132053415-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/IMG_20171105_132053415-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/IMG_20171105_132053415-768x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":37064,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=37064","url_meta":{"origin":32530,"position":4},"title":"L\u00e5tsasv\u00e4rlden","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-12-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Underbara m\u00e5ndag. Japp. Gr\u00e5v\u00e4der. Jag tittar ut vid tio och fattar inte hur det kan vara s\u00e5 m\u00f6rkt ute s\u00e5 sent p\u00e5 dan. Men ingen sol orkar v\u00e4l knuffa och st\u00e5nka sig igenom dimman och gr\u00e5v\u00e4dret s\u00e5klart. Men jag gl\u00e4djer mig. S\u00e5klart g\u00f6r jag det. H\u00e4r inne p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsaskontoret finns\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/IMG_20200909_145006-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/IMG_20200909_145006-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/IMG_20200909_145006-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/IMG_20200909_145006-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/IMG_20200909_145006-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/IMG_20200909_145006-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19079,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=19079","url_meta":{"origin":32530,"position":5},"title":"Det vet alla","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-11-23","format":false,"excerpt":"Egentligen vill jag inte st\u00f6ra. Inte en enda. Men skall man f\u00e5 ut information om det man g\u00f6r s\u00e5 m\u00e5ste man ju det. Allts\u00e5 delta i en d\u00e4r dansen av informationsspridning i m\u00e4ngder som inte en enda kotte vill ha. Men jag s\u00e4ger bara som det \u00e4r. 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