{"id":32342,"date":"2019-06-15T17:05:00","date_gmt":"2019-06-15T16:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=32342"},"modified":"2019-06-15T17:05:00","modified_gmt":"2019-06-15T16:05:00","slug":"tungt-artilleri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=32342","title":{"rendered":"Tungt artilleri"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Jag f\u00e5r ta till tungt artilleri i natt. Snabbverkande och l\u00e5ngtidsverkande, plus Alvedon. Oklart varf\u00f6r “ondskan” kommer just i natt. Jag har inte \u00f6veranstr\u00e4ngt mig eller pl\u00e5gat axel vad jag vet. Men lite tycker jag nog det \u00e4r r\u00e4tt \u00e5t mig. Min sm\u00e4rtresa hittills har varit den enklaste t\u00e4nkbara. Jag borde allts\u00e5 helt enkelt st\u00e4lla upp och ta min del av v\u00e4rldens “det g\u00f6r ont”. Ok h\u00e4r st\u00e5r jag. I givakt. Jag tar mitt ansvar. Skicka p\u00e5 mig. Ja \u00e5tminstone om det \u00e4r n\u00e5gon annan i v\u00e4rlden som f\u00e5r mindre v\u00e4rk. Men kanske fungerar det inte s\u00e5, men vad vet jag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast underbar dag annars idag. Vilov\u00e4rk p\u00e5 niv\u00e5 fem, kanske sex, efter sm\u00e4rtstillande. Sol. Koltrasts\u00e5ng. Yoghurt och ostmacka ute till lunch. Tar n\u00e5got piller till. Det \u00e4rt ju f\u00f6r det h\u00e4r dom \u00e4r till f\u00f6r. Jag kan hj\u00e4lpa till lite grann. Det gl\u00e4djer mig. Faktiskt snarare mycket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En riktig fin sommardag. Jag tar ingen av dem f\u00f6r sj\u00e4lvklara. Man vet aldrig hur m\u00e5nga man har kvar att uppleva. Jag uppskattar varenda dag jag vaknar upp till just d\u00e4rf\u00f6r. K tycker jag \u00e4r l\u00f6jlig. Hon har antagligen r\u00e4tt. Hon brukar ha det. Jag brukar ha fel. Men dagarna att uppskatta \u00e4r mina. Bara mina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pl\u00e5nboken \u00e4r r\u00e4tt tom. Det kostar att vara sjukhusg\u00e4st \u00e4nd\u00e5. Fast man t\u00e4nker p\u00e5 US a of A och tackar himlarna f\u00f6r att man inte bor d\u00e4r. Jag kan inte fatta hur n\u00e5gon enda intelligent m\u00e4nniska kan se det systemet som b\u00e4ttre \u00e4n v\u00e5rt. Man ville ordna guidade turer om natten f\u00f6r de d\u00e4r m\u00e4nniskorna som sover efter gatorna i valfri st\u00f6rre Amerikansk stad. Ett paradis f\u00f6r f\u00e5 kanske. Men vad i HELVETE – liksom<\/strong>,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men nu s\u00e5. H\u00e4r. Rast. Vila. Medicin och mat. Hoppas p\u00e5 en lugnare natt. Japp. Om inte f\u00e5r man f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka st\u00e5 ut med det ocks\u00e5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jag f\u00e5r ta till tungt artilleri i natt. Snabbverkande och l\u00e5ngtidsverkande, plus Alvedon. Oklart varf\u00f6r “ondskan” kommer just i natt. Jag har inte \u00f6veranstr\u00e4ngt mig eller pl\u00e5gat axel vad jag vet. Men lite tycker jag nog det \u00e4r r\u00e4tt \u00e5t mig. Min sm\u00e4rtresa hittills har varit den enklaste t\u00e4nkbara. Jag borde allts\u00e5 helt enkelt st\u00e4lla […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18030,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18030","url_meta":{"origin":32342,"position":0},"title":"Bj\u00f6rn och en natt som aldrig riktigt blir en natt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-06-02","format":false,"excerpt":"En bj\u00f6rn som lugnt betar i skogskanten p\u00e5 \u00e5kern h\u00e4r utanf\u00f6r. Det finns n\u00e5got snyggt i det. N\u00e5got som inte g\u00e5r att inte gilla. Jag tillh\u00f6r inte dom som m\u00e5ste ha bj\u00f6rnskinn p\u00e5 v\u00e4ggen och bj\u00f6rnk\u00f6tt i frysen lika lite som jag vill ha blommor p\u00e5 bordet som sakta d\u00f6r\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Helspalt_bj\u00f6rn_SW","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Helspalt_bj%C3%B6rn_SW.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":25877,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=25877","url_meta":{"origin":32342,"position":1},"title":"Morgonkaffe","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-11-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r fem grader kallt d\u00e4r ute. K har teater p\u00e5 bes\u00f6k idag fr\u00e5n G\u00e4vle s\u00e5 upp sex \u00e4r det som g\u00e4ller. Men jag \u00e4r redan vaken d\u00e5, s\u00e5 det \u00e4r inga problem att kliva upp. \u00c4nnu en natt med ryckig s\u00f6mn. Jag har legat d\u00e4r och funderat \u00f6ver ingenting\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/IMG_20130828_151005-EFFECTS-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/IMG_20130828_151005-EFFECTS-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/IMG_20130828_151005-EFFECTS-768x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14277,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=14277","url_meta":{"origin":32342,"position":2},"title":"Att \u00e4ta en elefant","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-08-05","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag letar energi. 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