{"id":31586,"date":"2019-02-25T13:13:49","date_gmt":"2019-02-25T12:13:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=31586"},"modified":"2019-02-25T13:13:56","modified_gmt":"2019-02-25T12:13:56","slug":"tick-tack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=31586","title":{"rendered":"Tick… Tack…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Tiden f\u00e5r ticka p\u00e5. S\u00e5 mycket mer \u00e4r det inte att g\u00f6ra \u00e5t det just nu. Jag anv\u00e4nder energin \u00e5t att komma h\u00e5g medicininmatartillf\u00e4llena under dygnet. Men snart har \u00e4nd\u00e5 en m\u00e5nad g\u00e5tt sedan ingrepp. Tiden g\u00e5r d\u00e5 \u00e4nd\u00e5 allts\u00e5 fram\u00e5t. Ja och jag med den. Kl\u00e4mmer v\u00e4l de kommande fyra veckorna ocks\u00e5 s\u00e5 f\u00e5r vi se sen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr\u00f6mmer mardr\u00f6m inatt. Vaknar skrikande, tror jag, men tydligen gnyr jag bara enligt K. Antar att talcentra ligger i vila. Lillkatten kommer i alla fall rusande och l\u00e4gger sig bredvid mig. Betryggande. Tr\u00f6stande. Jag har stor erfarenhet av just mardr\u00f6mmar h\u00e4mtade fr\u00e5n det svartaste av m\u00f6rker sedan jag var barn s\u00e5 den h\u00e4r \u00e4r v\u00e4l inte s\u00e5 farlig. Men vill sova. Beh\u00f6ver sova. Japp, och g\u00e4rna p\u00e5 n\u00e4tterna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ute verkar fortfarande v\u00e5ren ta stora tuggor av vintern. Kan man bli annat \u00e4n glad \u00f6ver det? Mars \u00e4r annars stora sn\u00f6m\u00e5naden. Det kan komma stora m\u00e4ngder. Men tummar h\u00e5lls s\u00e5klart f\u00f6r s\u00e5 lite sn\u00f6fall som m\u00f6jligt. Tidig v\u00e5r st\u00e5r h\u00f6gt p\u00e5 \u00f6nskelistan. T\u00e4nker – “v\u00e5r”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00e5ste plantera om blommorna h\u00e4r p\u00e5 l\u00e5tsaskontoret. Ja och ta sticklingar. Men hur g\u00f6r man det som enarmad? Blir frustrerad av allt det d\u00e4r jag inte kan g\u00f6ra. Sitta overksam \u00e4r inte med i min bag of tricks. Verkligen inte. Har aldrig varit det. F\u00f6rs\u00f6ker leva det livet men lyckas inget vidare. Jo, s\u00e5klart, andra skulle ge allt f\u00f6r att f\u00e5 det just s\u00e5. Det \u00e4r or\u00e4ttvist. Livet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e5gon whisky med kanelbulle blir det s\u00e5klart inte i dessa tider. Men dr\u00f6mma kan man ju. Halva njutningen \u00e4r ju \u00e4nd\u00e5 att l\u00e4ngta. Man f\u00e5r n\u00f6ja sig med en bild som v\u00e4cker minnen av ett gammalt “firande” p\u00e5 just detta vis en g\u00e5ng i tiden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Egentligen ville jag nog skriva, skriva och skriva nu i det h\u00e4r vakuumet. Perfekt tillf\u00e4lle liksom. Eoner av tid finnes. Men s\u00e5klart det \u00e4r just d\u00e4r avsaknaden av en h\u00f6gerarm sl\u00e5r. Antagligen vill han\/hon\/det\/gud ha n\u00e5got sagt med allt det h\u00e4r. H\u00e4r finns visdomar att inh\u00e4mta. Synd bara att man \u00e4r f\u00f6r dum f\u00f6r att fatta vad det \u00e4r han\/hon\/det\/gud vill att man skall fatta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e5ja, det \u00e4r som det \u00e4r med det. Ja med allt annat ocks\u00e5 s\u00e5klart. Att v\u00e4nsterhandsknappa den h\u00e4r lilla textsnutten t\u00e4r p\u00e5 krafterna. L\u00f6jligt s\u00e5klart. Men ett faktum. Prova sj\u00e4lv f\u00e5r du se. Det \u00e4r b\u00f6kigare \u00e4n vad man tror. \u00c4nd\u00e5 var jag en av de v\u00e4nsterh\u00e4nta en g\u00e5ng i tiden. Innan skolstart och mitellor i likformighetens v\u00e4rld. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

F\u00f6rs\u00f6ker titta p\u00e5 “Babel” ig\u00e5r. Inser att det inte bara \u00e4r jag som \u00e4r dum i huvudet. T\u00e4nk alla dessa l\u00e5nga utl\u00e4ggningar och allvarliga miner inom h\u00f6gkulturen. Man vill liksom bara \u00e4ntra scenen som en befriande clown med sina uppt\u00e5g och locka fram distans till all allvarlighet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men nu d\u00e5? Vad hittar man p\u00e5? Finns det inspiration f\u00f6r att skapa v\u00e4nsterhandsmusik? Eller skall man n\u00f6ja sig med vattna blommor och fylla en tv\u00e4ttmaskin…
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tiden f\u00e5r ticka p\u00e5. S\u00e5 mycket mer \u00e4r det inte att g\u00f6ra \u00e5t det just nu. Jag anv\u00e4nder energin \u00e5t att komma h\u00e5g medicininmatartillf\u00e4llena under dygnet. Men snart har \u00e4nd\u00e5 en m\u00e5nad g\u00e5tt sedan ingrepp. Tiden g\u00e5r d\u00e5 \u00e4nd\u00e5 allts\u00e5 fram\u00e5t. Ja och jag med den. Kl\u00e4mmer v\u00e4l de kommande fyra veckorna ocks\u00e5 s\u00e5 f\u00e5r […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41202,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=41202","url_meta":{"origin":31586,"position":0},"title":"Februaritr\u00f6tt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-02-03","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Februaritr\u00f6ttheten har tagit mig i ett fast grepp. Jag till och med sitter och sover, n\u00e5ja halvsover, framf\u00f6r datorn idag (igen). Jod\u00e5 det g\u00e5r. Huvudet bak\u00e5t mot stolen. Stolen i uppr\u00e4tt l\u00e4ge. Sen sover man om man \u00e4r tillr\u00e4ckligt tr\u00f6tt. Ja och det \u00e4r jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"alone bed bedroom blur","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-271897.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-271897.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-271897.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-271897.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-271897.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-271897.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15288,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=15288","url_meta":{"origin":31586,"position":1},"title":"Heligt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-11-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Fredagar \u00e4r s\u00e5klart fortfarande heliga. Det \u00e4r bara s\u00e5. Det skall g\u00e4lla liv och d\u00f6d f\u00f6r att jag skall g\u00f6ra avkall p\u00e5 lediga fredags kv\u00e4llar. S\u00e5 halv sju st\u00e4nger jag ner, skickar koden till USA, startar backuper och st\u00e4nger sedan ner h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kontoret. Jag \u00e4r s\u00e5 tr\u00f6tt och slut\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"960306-01, 6x9 dia, 01-11OrionUppland","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/orion-960306-01.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/orion-960306-01.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/orion-960306-01.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":42990,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=42990","url_meta":{"origin":31586,"position":2},"title":"Reflow","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-10-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Alexander Dummer on Pexels.com H\u00e4r snurrar ugnen p\u00e5 eftermiddagen. Reflow. L\u00f6dning av komponenter allts\u00e5. En ugn som luktar illa. Mycket illa. Men som i alla fall blivit b\u00e4ttre efter m\u00e5nga k\u00f6rningarna. Antagligen kommer den att f\u00f6rkorta mitt liv lika mycket som de cigarretter jag dragit i mig genom\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"person using appliance","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/pexels-photo-132700.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/pexels-photo-132700.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/pexels-photo-132700.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/pexels-photo-132700.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/pexels-photo-132700.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/pexels-photo-132700.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":31154,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=31154","url_meta":{"origin":31586,"position":3},"title":"Trevligt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-12-23","format":false,"excerpt":"Egentligen skulle jag v\u00e4l s\u00e4tta mig och skriva en sp\u00f6khistoria. Eller en saga. De passar v\u00e4l nu i dessa tider. Men jag g\u00f6r inte det. Det vore f\u00f6r l\u00e4tt. I alla fall just i natt. Det enkla och l\u00e4ttvindiga har aldrig varit min v\u00e4g. N\u00e4r jag kommer fr\u00e5n aff\u00e4ren idag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Screenshot-from-2018-11-23-08-57-24.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Screenshot-from-2018-11-23-08-57-24.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Screenshot-from-2018-11-23-08-57-24.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":36858,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=36858","url_meta":{"origin":31586,"position":4},"title":"M\u00e5ste","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-11-18","format":false,"excerpt":"Slut. Sitter och stirrar p\u00e5 sk\u00e4rm ett. Borde inhandla kraft f\u00f6r att g\u00e5 upp och l\u00e4gga mig. Men gjorde av med det sista genom att fylla pellets i Hulkens st\u00e4ndigt hungriga mage f\u00f6r en liten stund sedan. 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Jag vaknar vid fem. M\u00e4rker att det inte finns n\u00e5gra utsikter om att somna om. Sl\u00e5r lite motvilligt p\u00e5 det jag pretenti\u00f6st kallar tankar. 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