{"id":31152,"date":"2018-12-22T18:34:22","date_gmt":"2018-12-22T17:34:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=31152"},"modified":"2018-12-22T18:34:29","modified_gmt":"2018-12-22T17:34:29","slug":"lugnet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=31152","title":{"rendered":"Lugnet"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Det har l\u00e4grat sig n\u00e5got slags lugn \u00f6ver kullen. Jod\u00e5, jod\u00e5, jod\u00e5 \u00e4n finns det att g\u00f6ra, inte minst K sliter i k\u00f6ket, men \u00e4nd\u00e5, n\u00e5gon slags l\u00e5ngsam puls tickar i allt som lever h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen just nu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ungarna stj\u00e4l en gran traditionsenligt i “Nisses skog”. Sj\u00e4lv \u00e4r jag egentligen inte mycket f\u00f6r det d\u00e4r “d\u00f6da en gran och se p\u00e5 medans den d\u00f6r” men st\u00e4mningsfullt \u00e4r det s\u00e5klart n\u00e4r den st\u00e5r d\u00e4r med kulor och glitter och lyser. Fast i mitt inre hade den blivit vacker som en stor st\u00e5tlig gran som mindes det som h\u00e4nt h\u00e4r uppe p\u00e5 kullen under hundra \u00e5r ocks\u00e5. Men \u00e5 andra sidan kunde den lika v\u00e4l fallit f\u00f6r en hungrande r\u00f6js\u00e5gsklinga, ja det \u00e4r v\u00e4l kanske till och med troligt just d\u00e4r den v\u00e4xte. Man kan i alla fall t\u00e4nka de d\u00e4r tankarna att et inte \u00e4r att bara ta. Allt som finns \u00e4r inte till f\u00f6r m\u00e4nniskan. De har ett ber\u00e4ttigande utanf\u00f6r oss i m\u00e4nniskosl\u00e4ktet ocks\u00e5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag handlar f\u00e5gelmat, tjugo kilo, som r\u00e4cker en m\u00e5nad. Gl\u00f6mmer s\u00e5klart att k\u00f6pa \u00e4pplen till \u00e4lg och r\u00e5djur. F\u00e5r v\u00e4l \u00e5ka ner imorgon igen och skaffa det. Aff\u00e4rerna \u00e4r alltid \u00f6ppna i den nya tiden. F\u00f6rr skulle det var gr\u00f6t med sm\u00f6rklick till tomten ocks\u00e5, men n\u00e5gonstans under n\u00e5got \u00e5r s\u00e5 f\u00f6rsvann han h\u00e4rifr\u00e5n. Ville inte bo kvar h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen. Ville bo hos andra. S\u00e5 han flyttade. Ja och jo och javisst, jag saknar honom. Honom och den d\u00e4r speciella st\u00e4mningen han spred i julnatten. Den som gjorde att till och med fyllandet av pellets k\u00e4ndes som en magisk handling den dagen. Sen han flyttade s\u00e5 \u00e4r allt det d\u00e4r borta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

En pall pellets sl\u00e4par jag in med v\u00e4nsterarmsfattning. En pall \u00e4r vad jag klarar i ett pass numera. Sen \u00e4r styrarmen slut. Har tv\u00e5 pallar koncentrerad v\u00e4rme till att f\u00e5 in, men det skall v\u00e4l ordna sig imorgon. D\u00e4rifr\u00e5n n\u00e5gonstans kan man koppla p\u00e5 full julefrid. n\u00e4mligen. Notera att jag v\u00e4ljer att inte se alla st\u00e5tliga tallar och granar som d\u00f6ljer sig i pelletsbitarna. Men hyckleriets m\u00e4stare \u00e4r inte bara jag, det \u00e4r hela m\u00e4nskligheten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag undrar hur farfars jular var. Nestor Nilsson<\/a>. De var nog inte alltid s\u00e5 l\u00e4tta d\u00e4r p\u00e5 Stockholms gator. Men kanske t\u00e4nker man inte ens p\u00e5 julen om man b\u00e4r en kr\u00e4vande och v\u00e5ldsam demon p\u00e5 sina axlar. Kanske r\u00e4cker det med att b\u00e4ra p\u00e5 den b\u00f6rdan. Men jag vet ju inte ens hur han levde. Ingen annan i sl\u00e4kten heller. Vad jag vet. Men man anar att han inte levde ordnat innan han hamnade p\u00e5 sjukhus. Ja och d\u00e4r var v\u00e4l kanske inte jularna b\u00e4ttre heller. Institutionsjular. Det l\u00e5ter inte kul. Undantagen fr\u00e5n samh\u00e4llet och sen mer eller mindre bortgl\u00f6md till jag v\u00e4cker minnet av honom till liv igen. Tvingar upp det till ytan. F\u00e5r en farfar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men det \u00e4r klart. Jag hycklar d\u00e4r ocks\u00e5. Hade jag m\u00f6tt honom d\u00e5 hade jag v\u00e4l antagligen inte bjudit in honom att delta i julfirandet. F\u00f6r besv\u00e4rlig. Antagligen. Vad vet man? Jag skall i alla fall h\u00e5lla hans minne levande s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge jag lever. F\u00f6r s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge n\u00e5gon minns en \u00e4r man inte riktigt d\u00f6d. M\u00f6jligen blir jag den siste d\u00e4r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu skal jag \u00e4ta en bit och sen g\u00f6ra lite senap. Ja sen soffan s\u00e5klart. En film eller tv\u00e5. Man skall inte anstr\u00e4nga sig f\u00f6r mycket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Det har l\u00e4grat sig n\u00e5got slags lugn \u00f6ver kullen. Jod\u00e5, jod\u00e5, jod\u00e5 \u00e4n finns det att g\u00f6ra, inte minst K sliter i k\u00f6ket, men \u00e4nd\u00e5, n\u00e5gon slags l\u00e5ngsam puls tickar i allt som lever h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen just nu. Ungarna stj\u00e4l en gran traditionsenligt i “Nisses skog”. Sj\u00e4lv \u00e4r jag egentligen inte mycket f\u00f6r det […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-swedish"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":39945,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=39945","url_meta":{"origin":31152,"position":0},"title":"Dagar som g\u00e5r","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2021-09-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r m\u00e5ndag. Den som f\u00f6reg\u00e5tts av s\u00f6ndag. Nope. Inte helt f\u00f6rv\u00e5nande \u00e4r v\u00e4l den ordningen. Det \u00e4r oftast s\u00e5 det brukar g\u00e5 till. Ja, man skulle rent av bli riktigt f\u00f6rv\u00e5nad om ordningen blev den omv\u00e4nda. Men h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kullen \u00e4r allt lugnt. Veckan b\u00f6rjade s\u00e5klart ig\u00e5r. Den bara\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/vlcsnap-2021-06-08-14h28m17s496.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/vlcsnap-2021-06-08-14h28m17s496.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/vlcsnap-2021-06-08-14h28m17s496.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/vlcsnap-2021-06-08-14h28m17s496.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":31154,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=31154","url_meta":{"origin":31152,"position":1},"title":"Trevligt","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-12-23","format":false,"excerpt":"Egentligen skulle jag v\u00e4l s\u00e4tta mig och skriva en sp\u00f6khistoria. Eller en saga. De passar v\u00e4l nu i dessa tider. Men jag g\u00f6r inte det. Det vore f\u00f6r l\u00e4tt. I alla fall just i natt. Det enkla och l\u00e4ttvindiga har aldrig varit min v\u00e4g. N\u00e4r jag kommer fr\u00e5n aff\u00e4ren idag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Screenshot-from-2018-11-23-08-57-24.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Screenshot-from-2018-11-23-08-57-24.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Screenshot-from-2018-11-23-08-57-24.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":29845,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=29845","url_meta":{"origin":31152,"position":2},"title":"Nada","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-09-16","format":false,"excerpt":"Det blir inte mycket den h\u00e4r helgen. Inte mycket alls faktiskt. Jag skyller p\u00e5 f\u00f6rkylning. Snorm\u00e4ngderna. Men det \u00e4r v\u00e4l kanske bara ett svepsk\u00e4l. En feg undanflykt. L\u00e4ser. \u00c4ter jordn\u00f6tter. Sover. Sen upprepar jag proceduren igen. Jod\u00e5 b\u00e4r lite plankor. 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Allts\u00e5 passar jag p\u00e5 att sova till halv tio som en ton\u00e5ring. Jod\u00e5 K med. 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