{"id":29748,"date":"2018-09-08T22:25:19","date_gmt":"2018-09-08T21:25:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=29748"},"modified":"2018-09-08T22:25:27","modified_gmt":"2018-09-08T21:25:27","slug":"stanger-igen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=29748","title":{"rendered":"St\u00e4nger igen"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/9.jpg?w=580\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-28897\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Jag st\u00e4nger igen. Nu. Snart. Vad annat kan man g\u00f6ra? F\u00f6rslag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Men det \u00e4r OK. \u00c4r riktigt f\u00f6rkyld. Inte ens whisky biter p\u00e5 den h\u00e4r satans besten. Bara tiden eller d\u00f6den kan m\u00f6jligen f\u00e5 den att ge sig till slut gissar jag. Man hoppas allts\u00e5 p\u00e5 det f\u00f6rsta. F\u00e5r acceptera, motvilligt, det andra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dragspelaren, p\u00e5p\u00e4lsad som om det \u00e4r minus fyrtiotv\u00e5, kommer till mig inatt. Han \u00e4r arg. Mycket arg. Anfaller mig. Jag har ingen aning om varf\u00f6r? Vaknar. Boxandes h\u00e5rt i luften med n\u00e4varna f\u00f6r att h\u00e5lla honom borta.\u00a0 Otrevligt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Men sjuk allts\u00e5. Det \u00e4r d\u00e5 de d\u00e4r konstiga dr\u00f6mmarna kommer, eller som man minns dem. Jag har en hel barndom med hemska mardr\u00f6mmar bakom mig.\u00a0 Vet allt om dem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">K \u00e4r valf\u00f6rr\u00e4ttare imorgon h\u00e4r i Los. \u00c4ldste sonen i Uppsala. B\u00e5da vide ordf\u00f6randen. Bra. Duktiga. Sj\u00e4lv ligger jag nog kvar p\u00e5 soffan och l\u00e4ser. Men jag sover nog ocks\u00e5 en skv\u00e4tt. N\u00e4r \u00f6gonen tr\u00f6ttas av textmassor.\u00a0 Min r\u00f6st har jag n\u00e4mligen redan lagt. Mer kan jag inte g\u00f6ra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Det regnar ett h\u00e5rt h\u00f6stregn h\u00e4r ute. Det \u00e4r ocks\u00e5 mycket riktigt h\u00f6stdimma och h\u00f6stm\u00f6rkt. Mysigt n\u00e4r man befinner sig inne. Av alla \u00e5rstider \u00e4r det h\u00f6sten jag \u00e4lskar mest. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Men nu allts\u00e5. Ge sig. L\u00e4mna en snorig l\u00f6rdag till arkiven och med det till dem som lever i det f\u00f6rg\u00e5ngna och av det f\u00f6rg\u00e5ngna. Sj\u00e4lv, d\u00e4remot,\u00a0 t\u00e4nker jag r\u00f6ra mig fram\u00e5t \u00e4nda tills det inte g\u00e5r l\u00e4ngre.\u00a0 Jag s\u00e4ger inte att det \u00e4r b\u00e4ttre eller s\u00e4mre. Bara att det \u00e4r min v\u00e4g. Jag har haft fullt sj\u00e5 att hitta den d\u00e4r v\u00e4gen som jag kallar min. Det \u00e4 v\u00e4lr knappast n\u00e5gon dessutom som skulle fr\u00e5ga om r\u00e5d i avseendet v\u00e4gval, ja eller annat f\u00f6r den delen, och rikta fr\u00e5gan till mig. Men inget av det d\u00e4r st\u00f6r mig.\u00a0 Inte det minsta. M\u00e4nniskan \u00e4r blind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">God natt!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jag st\u00e4nger igen. Nu. Snart. Vad annat kan man g\u00f6ra? F\u00f6rslag? Men det \u00e4r OK. \u00c4r riktigt f\u00f6rkyld. Inte ens whisky biter p\u00e5 den h\u00e4r satans besten. Bara tiden eller d\u00f6den kan m\u00f6jligen f\u00e5 den att ge sig till slut gissar jag. Man hoppas allts\u00e5 p\u00e5 det f\u00f6rsta. F\u00e5r acceptera, motvilligt, det andra. Dragspelaren, p\u00e5p\u00e4lsad [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29748","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16282,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=16282","url_meta":{"origin":29748,"position":0},"title":"Sportlov","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-01-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Sn\u00f6slungad och klar. Klockan \u00e4r tio. Uppe vid sex och st\u00e4nger av Hulken eftersom sotaren kommer men v\u00e5r k\u00e4re pelletsbr\u00e4nnare har redan stannat. Bra timing. Jag kan g\u00e5 och l\u00e4gga mig en timme, dra mig, har sovit d\u00e5lig i natt. S\u00e4llan det h\u00e4nder. 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Jod\u00e5, f\u00e5r Sushi. N\u00f6jd allts\u00e5. Har varit d\u00e5lig i magen n\u00e5gra dagar. Det \u00e4r den d\u00e4r stenen i bukspottsk\u00f6rteln. Den sl\u00e5r liksom till ibland. Pl\u00e5gar mig. Men bara lite. Allts\u00e5 f\u00e5r jag skita i Bolln\u00e4s. Ja\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"motivational sticky note on purple background","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/pexels-photo-35261890.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/pexels-photo-35261890.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/pexels-photo-35261890.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/pexels-photo-35261890.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":30953,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=30953","url_meta":{"origin":29748,"position":2},"title":"En morgondag","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-12-08","format":false,"excerpt":"Fredag.Jag somnar en stund s\u00e5klart. 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F\u00f6rr skulle\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Swedish&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/ake_20180727.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/ake_20180727.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/ake_20180727.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18714,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18714","url_meta":{"origin":29748,"position":3},"title":"Fredag i &#8220;paradiset&#8221;","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-10-02","format":false,"excerpt":"Fredag igen. Den g\u00e5r f\u00f6r snabbt. Tiden. Jag hinner inte med. Tisdag hade varit b\u00e4ttre. Japp. Helvetes klocka. Sakta ner. Livet rinner ut. Snart sextio och s\u00e5 mycket kvar att g\u00f6ra. Men fredag allts\u00e5. Jag m\u00e5ste st\u00e4da innan jag forts\u00e4tter med det som m\u00e5ste g\u00f6ras. Som om jag hade tid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Jorden2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Jorden2.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Jorden2.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Jorden2.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Jorden2.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":10000,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=10000","url_meta":{"origin":29748,"position":4},"title":"Johanna i studion idag.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-09-22","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r o-ljusnatt i natt ocks\u00e5. Starkt fast \u00e4n m\u00e5nen bara \u00e4r i 85%. Men p\u00e5 morgonen kommer regnet. Ja vi sitter d\u00e4r och segar till det, s\u00e5 morgonen blir v\u00e4l inte f\u00f6rr\u00e4n vid tolvtiden om man skall g\u00e5 efter den normalt p\u00e5j\u00e4ktande klockan. Vi fastnar d\u00e4r i soffan ganska\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"004","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/004-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/004-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/004-1024x768.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16956,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=16956","url_meta":{"origin":29748,"position":5},"title":"Inga tranor h\u00e4r inte","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-03-10","format":false,"excerpt":"Nyhetssomnar ikv\u00e4ll. Rapportpowernap. Skall skriva en bok om det. V\u00e4rldens el\u00e4nde d\u00e4r p\u00e5 rutan. Lisbeth. Sj\u00e4lv sover men bortkopplad fr\u00e5n allt det d\u00e4r utstr\u00e4ckt p\u00e5 soffan. Eller utstr\u00e4ckt f\u00f6rresten. Mer som i n\u00e5gon slags fosterst\u00e4llning. Eller en variant av det. Framstupa sidol\u00e4get. Tr\u00f6tt allts\u00e5. Har k\u00f6rt h\u00e5rt idag. Koncentrerat. Sen\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"trana02_original","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/trana02_original.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/trana02_original.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/trana02_original.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/trana02_original.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-7JO","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29748","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29748"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29748\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29749,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29748\/revisions\/29749"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29748"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29748"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29748"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}