![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/IMG_20180607_121528943-576x1024.jpg?resize=576%2C1024\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Tjoffar ned till Edsbyn. Det l\u00e5ter som ett hjullager har g\u00e5tt h\u00f6ger bak. Grrrrrrrr l\u00e5ter det liksom b\u00e5de fr\u00e5n det och fr\u00e5n mig. Men tar mig b\u00e5de dit och hem igen. K\u00e4nde en viss oro \u00f6ver de m\u00f6jligheterna. S\u00e5klart.<\/p>\n
Ser knappt Edsbyn. V\u00e4nder och \u00e5ker tillbaks n\u00e4stan direkt. \u00c4nd\u00e5 t\u00e4nker jag “\u00c5ka hem” d\u00e4r precis innan jag skall sticka iv\u00e4g ned fr\u00e5n kullen. Innan jag kommer p\u00e5 mig sj\u00e4lv allts\u00e5, japp, det var l\u00e4ngesedan det var s\u00e5. Att Edsbyn var “hemma”. ens n\u00e4ra det. Men \u00e4nd\u00e5 finns den d\u00e4r byn kvar i mitt hj\u00e4rta ocks\u00e5 s\u00e5klart. Men st\u00f6rre delen av min tid d\u00e4r l\u00e4ngtade jag d\u00e4rifr\u00e5n, som h\u00e4r allts\u00e5. Men det d\u00e4r \u00e4r v\u00e4l just det d\u00e4r att fly fr\u00e5n sig sj\u00e4lv. Det g\u00e5r liksom inte. \u00c5tminstone inte utan att p\u00e5 n\u00e5got s\u00e4tt f\u00f6rg\u00f6ra sig sj\u00e4lv.<\/p>\n
Kollar gravarna. Allt bra. Det \u00e4r bara att s\u00e4ga hej och hallloj till en sten och \u00e5ka. Fast egentligen \u00e4r det ju m\u00e5nga stenar nu f\u00f6r tiden s\u00e5klart. Men jag bes\u00f6ker bara morsan och farsans.<\/p>\n
Stephen Kings “Skriva” \u00e4r bra. \u00c4r man en blivande f\u00f6rfattare b\u00f6r man skaffa sig ett ex. Mycket uppmuntran, m\u00e5nga bra tips och n\u00e5gra sidor om adverb som ger en s\u00e5dan som mig g\u00e5shud. Sj\u00e4lv vet jag inte om jag \u00e4r en blivande f\u00f6rfattare. Kanske vet jag det n\u00e4r jag blir stor. Det visar sig. Skriver g\u00f6r jag i alla fall. F\u00f6r att jag m\u00e5ste.<\/p>\n
Hemma, promenad. Den tyngsta jag n\u00e5gonsin varit med om. Orkar n\u00e4stan inte runt. Undrar vad det beror p\u00e5? N\u00e5got skit i kroppen kanske?\u00a0 Fast jag tar mig runt. Tar mig hem. Men n\u00e4stan inte upp till lunchen. F\u00e5r pusta uppf\u00f6r trappstegen som en hundra\u00e5ring. Men ocks\u00e5 det g\u00e5r till slut. Fillunch.<\/p>\n
Nu sitter jag allts\u00e5 h\u00e4r igen. Kaffe \u00e4r bryggt. Smakar skit som vanligt. Tv\u00e5hundrasjuttio mail i mailkorgen. Mest skit det ocks\u00e5. En donation ramlar in. Hj\u00e4lper en del i det d\u00e4r pusslet att f\u00e5 ett open source projekt att g\u00e5 ihop. Livet f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker rullar p\u00e5.<\/p>\n
F\u00f6r att\u00a0 denna torsdag inte skall vara allt f\u00f6r merry g\u00f6r axeln ondare \u00e4n den brukar g\u00f6ra idag. Oklart varf\u00f6r. Vill v\u00e4l p\u00e5minna om sin existens. Vi vill alla synas. Tydligen ocks\u00e5 axlar. Men lider lite g\u00f6r jag allts\u00e5. Men st\u00e5r d\u00e4r i k\u00f6. En dag \u00e4r det min tur att fara ned till G\u00e4vle och fixa det d\u00e4r. Sen kan det bli b\u00e4ttre eller bli s\u00e4mre. Fr\u00e5n mitt perspektiv \u00e4r det som krona eller klave. Man hoppas, men har kanske inte v\u00e4rldens st\u00f6rsta hopp.<\/p>\n
Men gott att leva. Dokumenterar lite f\u00f6r att j\u00e4mna ut och mildra den k\u00e4nslan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tjoffar ned till Edsbyn. Det l\u00e5ter som ett hjullager har g\u00e5tt h\u00f6ger bak. Grrrrrrrr l\u00e5ter det liksom b\u00e5de fr\u00e5n det och fr\u00e5n mig. Men tar mig b\u00e5de dit och hem igen. K\u00e4nde en viss oro \u00f6ver de m\u00f6jligheterna. S\u00e5klart. Ser knappt Edsbyn. V\u00e4nder och \u00e5ker tillbaks n\u00e4stan direkt. \u00c4nd\u00e5 t\u00e4nker jag “\u00c5ka hem” d\u00e4r precis […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":34819,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=34819","url_meta":{"origin":28827,"position":0},"title":"Ov\u00e4ntat","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-04-06","format":false,"excerpt":"Man skulle kanske ha stretchat innan hostan infann sig. Fast jag har klarat mig r\u00e4tt bra. Det \u00e4r f\u00f6rst de sista dagarna som magmuskler gav sig till k\u00e4nna. Allts\u00e5 v\u00e4rker. Talar om att de finns d\u00e4r under allt \"magfluff\". Jag inbillar mig att den egentligen \u00e4r ganska snygg den d\u00e4r\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/d88b7374-2d67-46e2-aefe-464a276a531b.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/d88b7374-2d67-46e2-aefe-464a276a531b.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/d88b7374-2d67-46e2-aefe-464a276a531b.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/d88b7374-2d67-46e2-aefe-464a276a531b.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/d88b7374-2d67-46e2-aefe-464a276a531b.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/d88b7374-2d67-46e2-aefe-464a276a531b.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":43331,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=43331","url_meta":{"origin":28827,"position":1},"title":"Att l\u00e4ngta bort","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-11-11","format":false,"excerpt":"Ibland s\u00e5 l\u00e4ngtar jag \"hem\" till Edsbyn. F\u00f6r att jag k\u00e4nner folk d\u00e4r mest. F\u00f6r att jag fortfarande kallar det d\u00e4r st\u00e4lle \"hemma\" fast det inte varit det sedan 78 och knappt innan. Men sen minns jag s\u00e5klart hur mycket jag hatade det religi\u00f6sa och allt fuskspel som florerade d\u00e4r\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/IMG_20221111_095329-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/IMG_20221111_095329-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/IMG_20221111_095329-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/IMG_20221111_095329-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/IMG_20221111_095329-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/IMG_20221111_095329-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":27126,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=27126","url_meta":{"origin":28827,"position":2},"title":"Det \u00e4r gott","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2018-02-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r gott. Jod\u00e5 det skulle s\u00e4kert kunnat vara p\u00e5 n\u00e5got annat s\u00e4tt. Men det \u00e4r som det \u00e4r. Gott eller el\u00e4ndigt kan man best\u00e4mma sj\u00e4lv. F\u00f6r det mesta. S\u00e5 jag best\u00e4mmer mig f\u00f6r gott. F\u00f6r att det k\u00e4nns s\u00e5. Sn\u00f6n singlar inte ned l\u00e4ngre.\u00a0 Det \u00e4r bra. M\u00e5ste ut\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Screenshot-from-2018-02-13-10-14-23-1024x688.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Screenshot-from-2018-02-13-10-14-23-1024x688.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Screenshot-from-2018-02-13-10-14-23-1024x688.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11415,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=11415","url_meta":{"origin":28827,"position":3},"title":"Det som inte h\u00f6rs","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-12-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag smyger in p\u00e5 systemet i Edsbyn. Skall ha tv\u00e5 flaskor snaps fr\u00e5n Teve Destilleri (http:\/\/www.tevsjodestilleri.se\/). H\u00e4lsingland n\u00e4r det \u00e4r som b\u00e4st finns numera ocks\u00e5 tappat p\u00e5 flaska. Ser ingen jag inte ens anar att jag kanske k\u00e4nner s\u00e5 jag lugnar ner mig och hinner ut innan n\u00e5gon ropar \"Tjena\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"grogglasen_large (1)","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/grogglasen_large-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13375,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13375","url_meta":{"origin":28827,"position":4},"title":"Man m\u00e5ste slita av sig…","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-06-05","format":false,"excerpt":"Vi \u00e4ter mat, frun har tr\u00e4ningsv\u00e4rk efter idrottsdag, hon har m\u00e4tt l\u00e4ngdhopp, jag har inte tr\u00e4ningsv\u00e4rk men \u00e4r tr\u00f6tt \u00e4nd\u00e5. Varsin tekopp b\u00e4rs rutinm\u00e4ssigt\u00a0ut till gr\u00f6na soffan. Nyhetstimme. Vi somnar djupt d\u00e4r i den soffan b\u00e5da tv\u00e5 innan rapport har b\u00f6rjat. Vaknar till v\u00e4dret. Mitt te \u00e4r i det n\u00e4rmaste\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Liten_ngel_till_dj_vul","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/Liten_ngel_till_dj_vul.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/Liten_ngel_till_dj_vul.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/Liten_ngel_till_dj_vul.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/Liten_ngel_till_dj_vul.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12253,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=12253","url_meta":{"origin":28827,"position":5},"title":"Ungdomsg\u00e5rden S\u00f6dran och korset jag har att b\u00e4ra.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-02-27","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag hade en lycklig barndom, tror jag. Jag minns inte s\u00e5 mycket fr\u00e5n den. Mina minnen klarnar faktiskt v\u00e4ldigt sent. L\u00f6jligt sent. Men lycklig var den nog \u00e4nd\u00e5 den d\u00e4r barndomen. Annars har jag nog kommit ih\u00e5g mer. F\u00f6r vad jag vet s\u00e5 finns det ingen traumatisk upplevelse d\u00e4r borta\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"sodran","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/sodran.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-7uX","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28827","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28827"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28827\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30652,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28827\/revisions\/30652"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}