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Dom st\u00e5r d\u00e4r tallarna i motljuset. \u00c4r man tall kan man v\u00e4l inte annat. Det \u00e4r ju s\u00e5. Jag tar in den d\u00e4r tavlan med hela mitt sinne f\u00f6rst, sen fotograferar jag den. F\u00f6rr gjorde jag tv\u00e4rt om. Jag har n\u00e5gra \u00e5r av mitt liv d\u00e5 jag s\u00e5g och upplevde allt genom en rektangul\u00e4r ruta och en lins. En hel v\u00e4rld av fototeknik. Man gl\u00f6mmer l\u00e4tt verkligheten och nuet n\u00e4r man \u00e4r d\u00e4r. Men inte nu allts\u00e5. Jag \u00e4r h\u00e4r. St\u00e5r d\u00e4r. Ett med skogen och den planet den v\u00e4xer p\u00e5. Ett korn i universum.<\/p>\n
F\u00e5glarna sjunger. Dom vet, jag vet, det \u00e4r v\u00e5r. Fast det kanske inte verkar s\u00e5 varje dag \u00e4r det f\u00f6r\u00e4ndring i luften. Den eviga f\u00f6r\u00e4ndringen. Inget \u00e4r mer konstant \u00e4n lagarna om f\u00f6r\u00e4ndring. \u00c4nd\u00e5 finns det dom som k\u00e4mpar emot med allt de har. Alltid.<\/p>\n
H\u00e4r ute \u00e4r jag precis som alla andra jag med. Varje storgubbe, stortant, riking, m\u00e4stare \u00e4r det dom med. Just h\u00e4r. Det g\u00e5r liksom inte p\u00e5 annat s\u00e4tt. S\u00e5 jag \u00e4r “normal”, en som alla andra, \u00e5tminstone h\u00e4r. Ja och jag h\u00f6r till. \u00c4r en del av motljuset, tallarna, sn\u00f6n och det d\u00e4r lilla kornet av planet som rusar fram i universum. Ingen annan \u00e4r f\u00f6rmer. Jag \u00e4r inte f\u00f6rmer \u00e4n n\u00e5gon annan. Sk\u00f6nt. Frid.<\/p>\n
P\u00e5 v\u00e4gen tillbaks fr\u00e5n min promenad m\u00f6ter jag en joggare. Han kan b\u00e5de springa och prata. Imponerande. Jag knappt g\u00e5. Men “haja, heja” liksom. Han \u00e5t sitt h\u00e5l. Jag \u00e5t mitt. Axeln v\u00e4rker som vanligt n\u00e4ra gr\u00e5tgr\u00e4nsen n\u00e4r jag g\u00e5r, jag v\u00e4ntar i v\u00e5rdk\u00f6ernas ringlande linje, kan inte annat, har inget emot det heller. Det \u00e4r ingen br\u00e5dska. Det \u00e4r lugnt. Viktigt f\u00f6rst. Gamla gubbar sen. Funderar jag. I backen upp\u00e5t, hem\u00e5t.<\/p>\n
Hemma f\u00e5r ett mikrofonstativ arbeta som tv\u00e4tth\u00e4ngare i studion. I brist p\u00e5 musicerande g\u00f6r det nytta \u00e4nd\u00e5. Om man nu kan kalla min musik och mitt musikskapande f\u00f6r musik. Inte vet jag. Epitet k\u00e4nns inte viktigt. Inte f\u00f6r mig. Jag g\u00f6r det jag g\u00f6r. \u00c4lskar det ganska ofta. Den k\u00e4nslan tror jag p\u00e5. Japp, riktigt mycket. Att “roligt” och “\u00e4lskar” \u00e4r r\u00e4tt v\u00e4g att g\u00e5 \u00e5t.<\/p>\n
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Dom st\u00e5r d\u00e4r tallarna i motljuset. \u00c4r man tall kan man v\u00e4l inte annat. Det \u00e4r ju s\u00e5. Jag tar in den d\u00e4r tavlan med hela mitt sinne f\u00f6rst, sen fotograferar jag den. F\u00f6rr gjorde jag tv\u00e4rt om. Jag har n\u00e5gra \u00e5r av mitt liv d\u00e5 jag s\u00e5g och upplevde allt genom en rektangul\u00e4r ruta […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27856","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":21512,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=21512","url_meta":{"origin":27856,"position":0},"title":"Fyra timmar","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-09-14","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag g\u00e5r som vanligt varvet runt Kyrksj\u00f6n det f\u00f6rsta jag g\u00f6r d\u00e4r i Ljusdal. K \u00e4r p\u00e5 m\u00f6te, kulm\u00f6te. Det som skall ta tre timmar, men som tar fyra. Finns det m\u00f6ten som n\u00e5gonsin blir kortare \u00e4n vad det \u00e4r t\u00e4nkt? Men allts\u00e5 timmar som jag har att f\u00f6rdriva. Hitta\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"20160824_0920041","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/20160824_0920041-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/20160824_0920041-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/20160824_0920041-1024x576.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":10975,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=10975","url_meta":{"origin":27856,"position":1},"title":"“i l\u00e4genheten ropen skalla, jag skall d\u00f6 f\u00f6rst av dom alla.”","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-11-14","format":false,"excerpt":"Traste (med jag tror det \u00e4r Per Persson faktiskt) st\u00e5r d\u00e4r och sjunger - i l\u00e4genheten ropen skalla, jag skall d\u00f6 f\u00f6rst av dom alla. varje g\u00e5ng jag vaknar i natt. Ja jag vet att l\u00e5ten g\u00e5r - i l\u00e4genheten ropen skalla jag skall d\u00f6 sist av dom alla. men\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"3117309791_2c80a21a1a_90857148","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/3117309791_2c80a21a1a_90857148.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":36891,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=36891","url_meta":{"origin":27856,"position":2},"title":"N\u00e4r jag g\u00e5r f\u00f6rbi","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-11-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Ute, fast inne \u00e4nd\u00e5, i det jag fortfarande kallar \"studion\", h\u00e4nger dom. Gitarrerna. Ost\u00e4mda. Oanv\u00e4nda. L\u00e4mnade. Ensamma. Ledsna. Rummet \u00e4r kallst\u00e4llt. H\u00e4r \u00e4r det inte ombonat. H\u00e4r hamnar allt som inte anv\u00e4nds. Jag ser dom varje kv\u00e4ll n\u00e4r jag g\u00e5r och l\u00e4gger mig. Det d\u00e4r suget i magen suger alltid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18968,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18968","url_meta":{"origin":27856,"position":3},"title":"En bel\u00f6ning i sig","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-11-09","format":false,"excerpt":"Det kan inte hj\u00e4lpas. Jag l\u00e4ngtar till veckans f\u00f6rsta arbetsdag. Som den h\u00e4r morgonen n\u00e4r jag knappt kan h\u00e5lla mig fr\u00e5n att rusa ner till kontoret innan frukosten \u00e4r upp\u00e4ten. Att flinande f\u00e5 g\u00e5 ner till kontoret och b\u00f6rja veckan \u00e4r ett av gl\u00e4dje\u00e4mnena i mitt liv. Att g\u00f6ra mina\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"337492","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/337492.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/337492.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/337492.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/337492.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18714,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18714","url_meta":{"origin":27856,"position":4},"title":"Fredag i “paradiset”","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-10-02","format":false,"excerpt":"Fredag igen. Den g\u00e5r f\u00f6r snabbt. Tiden. Jag hinner inte med. Tisdag hade varit b\u00e4ttre. Japp. Helvetes klocka. Sakta ner. Livet rinner ut. Snart sextio och s\u00e5 mycket kvar att g\u00f6ra. Men fredag allts\u00e5. Jag m\u00e5ste st\u00e4da innan jag forts\u00e4tter med det som m\u00e5ste g\u00f6ras. Som om jag hade tid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Jorden2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Jorden2.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Jorden2.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Jorden2.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Jorden2.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":38852,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=38852","url_meta":{"origin":27856,"position":5},"title":"Ja eller Nej","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2021-05-19","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by PNW Production on Pexels.com Jag st\u00e4ller mig sj\u00e4lv ofta den d\u00e4r fr\u00e5gan s\u00e5h\u00e4r strax innan klockan sex p\u00e5 morgonen. \u00c4r det det h\u00e4r jag vill g\u00f6ra? Hittills har jag alltid svarat ja. Tvekat kanske n\u00e5gra g\u00e5nger. Priset k\u00e4nns h\u00f6gt ibland fast det utifr\u00e5n s\u00e5klart ser ut som en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"people sitting on a cliff","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/pexels-photo-7625310.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/pexels-photo-7625310.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/pexels-photo-7625310.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/pexels-photo-7625310.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s68PL2-tallarna","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27856","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27856"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27856\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27863,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27856\/revisions\/27863"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27856"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27856"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}