{"id":24627,"date":"2017-06-12T08:19:40","date_gmt":"2017-06-12T07:19:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24627"},"modified":"2017-06-12T12:45:04","modified_gmt":"2017-06-12T11:45:04","slug":"orkar-inte-mer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24627","title":{"rendered":"“Orkar inte mer”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Jag gr\u00e4ver d\u00e4r det \u00e4r t\u00e4nkt att v\u00e4xthus skall st\u00e5. Men det tar inte s\u00e5 l\u00e5ng stund innan jag f\u00e5r ge upp. Det g\u00e5r inte med axeln. Det g\u00f6r f\u00f6r ont.\u00a0 S\u00e5 ist\u00e4llet startar min fru gr\u00e4sklipparen (bara det…) som jag far runt med i regnv\u00e5t gr\u00e4smatta en stund… tills den pajar. “Orkar inte mer” \u00e4r k\u00e4nslan.<\/p>\n

P\u00e5 kv\u00e4llen ont i axeln d\u00e5 s\u00e5klart. S\u00e5 ont att jag ger upp l\u00e5tsasjobbet. Idag h\u00e5ller det i sig. Nu \u00e4r det inte det d\u00e4r onda som st\u00f6r mig mest. Jag har vant mig vid det i olika grader. Men det h\u00e4r att inte klara av sm\u00e5saker l\u00e4ngre som st\u00f6r mig oerh\u00f6rt. Gr\u00e4va. Starta en gr\u00e4sklippare. Spika. H\u00e4lsa p\u00e5 n\u00e5gon utan att grimasera (r\u00e4das dem som h\u00e4lsningsskakar). G\u00f6ra n\u00e5got som hest men en h\u00f6gerarm \u00f6ver br\u00f6sth\u00f6jd. Det d\u00e4r \u00e4r skit liksom. F\u00f6rlorad livskvalitet. V\u00e4rdel\u00f6st.<\/p>\n

Men det \u00e4r s\u00e5klart som det \u00e4r. Man kunde vara d\u00f6d. Ja och det finns andra som har ondare. S\u00e5 nu ordar vi inte mer om det.<\/p>\n

M\u00e5ndag. En hel vecka framf\u00f6r sig har man. Krypterade VSCP paket fl\u00f6dar fritt h\u00e4r i huset just nu. Det \u00e4r \u00e5tminstone en bra sak. \u00c5terst\u00e5r en s\u00e4ker nyckelhantering. Precis som med den generella krypteringen \u00e4r inte det heller en bagatell.\u00a0 Man f\u00e5r l\u00e4sa p\u00e5. Fundera. Gillar.<\/p>\n

Men m\u00e5ndag. Gillar (igen) det hur som helst ocks\u00e5. Just h\u00e4r och nu p\u00e5 morgonen n\u00e4r det h\u00e4r skrivs k\u00e4nns det som det finns eoner av tid att g\u00f6ra stord\u00e5d p\u00e5. Ja sm\u00e5saker ocks\u00e5 s\u00e5klart. Eller helt enkelt l\u00e4gga sten p\u00e5 sten. Det allt f\u00f6r det mesta \u00e4nd\u00e5 handlar om. Det d\u00e4r andra, de korta stunderna av eufori, storhetsvansinne, gl\u00e4dje, lycka, sorg \u00e4r \u00e4nd\u00e5 undantagen mot det d\u00e4r eviga hjulet som skall snurra.Det \u00e4r till slut hjulens varv, s\u00e5 o\u00e4ndligt lika varandra, men aldrig riktigt helt lika, som man m\u00e5ste l\u00e4ra sig \u00e4lska f\u00f6r att orka leva. Tack och lov s\u00e5 k\u00e4nner jag fortfarande den d\u00e4r fascinationen \u00f6ver det som \u00e4r bara \u00e4r vanlig gr\u00e5 vardag.<\/p>\n

ps<\/p>\n

Den h\u00e4r l\u00e5ten<\/a> spelar jag ofta<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
Don\u2019t Give Up<\/strong><\/div>\n
Ane Brun\/Kate Bush<\/a>, Peter Gabriel<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
In this proud land we grew up strong
\nWe were wanted all along
\nI was taught to fight, taught to win
\nI never thought I could fail<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
No fight left or so it seems
\nI am a man whose dreams have all deserted
\nI’ve changed my face, I’ve changed my name
\nBut no one wants you when you lose<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Don’t give up
\n‘Cause you have friends
\nDon’t give up
\nYou’re not beaten yet
\nDon’t give up
\nI know you can make it good<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Though I saw it all around
\nNever thought I could be affected
\nThought that we’d be the last to go
\nIt is so strange the way things turn<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Drove the night toward my home
\nThe place that I was born, on the lakeside
\nAs daylight broke, I saw the earth
\nThe trees had burned down to the ground<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n
Don’t give up
\nYou still have us
\nDon’t give up
\nWe don’t need much of anything
\nDon’t give up
\n‘Cause somewhere there’s a place
\nWhere we belong<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Rest your head
\nYou worry too much
\nIt’s going to be alright
\nWhen times get rough
\nYou can fall back on us
\nDon’t give up<\/div>\n
Please don’t give up<\/div>\n
‘Got to walk out of here
\nI can’t take anymore
\nGoing to stand on that bridge
\nKeep my eyes down below
\nWhatever may come
\nAnd whatever may go
\nThat river’s flowing
\nThat river’s flowing<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Moved on to another town
\nTried hard to settle down
\nFor every job, so many men
\nSo many men no-one needs<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Don’t give up
\n‘Cause you have friends
\nDon’t give up
\nYou’re not the only one
\nDon’t give up
\nNo reason to be ashamed
\nDon’t give up
\nYou still have us
\nDon’t give up now
\nWe’re proud of who you are
\nDon’t give up
\nYou know it’s never been easy
\nDon’t give up
\n‘Cause I believe there’s the a place
\nThere’s a place where we belong<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
L\u00e5tskrivare: Peter Gabriel<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jag gr\u00e4ver d\u00e4r det \u00e4r t\u00e4nkt att v\u00e4xthus skall st\u00e5. Men det tar inte s\u00e5 l\u00e5ng stund innan jag f\u00e5r ge upp. Det g\u00e5r inte med axeln. Det g\u00f6r f\u00f6r ont.\u00a0 S\u00e5 ist\u00e4llet startar min fru gr\u00e4sklipparen (bara det…) som jag far runt med i regnv\u00e5t gr\u00e4smatta en stund… tills den pajar. “Orkar inte mer” […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18341,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18341","url_meta":{"origin":24627,"position":0},"title":"Hela hj\u00e4rtat skall med","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-08-01","format":false,"excerpt":"Min vecka av jobb har landat i helg men det som skulle vara den f\u00f6rsta jobbveckan blev S\u00f6rmland och landsbygd och en sv\u00e4rfar p\u00e5 intensiven. Livet hinner fatt en. Alltid \u00e4r det s\u00e5 och det \u00e4r s\u00e5klart s\u00e5 det skall vara ocks\u00e5. Men hemma nu. Skulle g\u00f6ra s\u00e5 mycket idag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"heartapple_119500478","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/heartapple_119500478.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13903,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13903","url_meta":{"origin":24627,"position":1},"title":"Jag \u00e4r bara lite tr\u00f6g i huvudet och blir tr\u00f6gare f\u00f6r varje \u00e5r som g\u00e5r.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-07-11","format":false,"excerpt":"I min \u00e5lder vaknar man upp p\u00e5 morgonen och s\u00e5 har man antingen mindre eller mer ont \u00e4n vid samma tid dagen f\u00f6re. Ja det kan visserligen vara ett slags status que ocks\u00e5 men ont g\u00f6r det, n\u00e5gonstans. 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K \u00e4r p\u00e5 m\u00f6te, kulm\u00f6te. Det som skall ta tre timmar, men som tar fyra. Finns det m\u00f6ten som n\u00e5gonsin blir kortare \u00e4n vad det \u00e4r t\u00e4nkt? Men allts\u00e5 timmar som jag har att f\u00f6rdriva. Hitta\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"20160824_0920041","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/20160824_0920041-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/20160824_0920041-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/20160824_0920041-1024x576.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":35351,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=35351","url_meta":{"origin":24627,"position":3},"title":"Tystnaden","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-06-24","format":false,"excerpt":"En f\u00e5gel och jag. Det \u00e4r s\u00e5 det k\u00e4nns. Jag f\u00f6rbereder mig f\u00f6r att ge upp l\u00e5tsasjobbbet f\u00f6r den h\u00e4r dan och f\u00e5geln funderar v\u00e4l p\u00e5 natts\u00f6mn den med. Den sjunger hur som helst sorgligt men vackert d\u00e4r en bit upp mot berget och jag sitter p\u00e5 f\u00f6rsta parkett lyssnandes\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-24-22-27-00.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-24-22-27-00.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-24-22-27-00.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-24-22-27-00.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Screenshot-from-2020-06-24-22-27-00.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15399,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=15399","url_meta":{"origin":24627,"position":4},"title":"Det d\u00e4r trycket \u00f6ver br\u00f6stet","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-11-24","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag l\u00e4gger mig n\u00e5gon g\u00e5ng efter tolv p\u00e5 s\u00f6ndagskv\u00e4llen efter en helg i vilol\u00e4ge, ja en s\u00e5dan med lite sm\u00e5fix och annat men med mycket fika och l\u00e5ngsamma mornar. Det g\u00e5r s\u00e5ledes inte att beklaga sig det minsta. Jag l\u00e4ser en timme om den Nigerianska kvinnans liv i Amerika och\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/minimum-monument-ice-sculptures-first-world-war-commemoration-nele-azevedo-3.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/minimum-monument-ice-sculptures-first-world-war-commemoration-nele-azevedo-3.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/minimum-monument-ice-sculptures-first-world-war-commemoration-nele-azevedo-3.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/minimum-monument-ice-sculptures-first-world-war-commemoration-nele-azevedo-3.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23934,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=23934","url_meta":{"origin":24627,"position":5},"title":"En heldag","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-03-31","format":false,"excerpt":"S\u00e5, Ljusdal, r\u00f6ntgen, har protesen i axeln lossnat mer? Ja jag vet. Ingen \u00e4r intresserad av andras sjukdomar, var det g\u00f6r ont f\u00f6r andra, man \u00e4r, precis som jag, mest intresserad av sina egna kr\u00e4mpor. S\u00e5 jag skall inte n\u00e4mna mer om det d\u00e4r. Men fr\u00e5gan \u00e4r om man skall\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/ny_axelled.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/ny_axelled.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/ny_axelled.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-6pd","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24627","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24627"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24627\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24631,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24627\/revisions\/24631"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24627"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24627"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24627"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}