{"id":24590,"date":"2017-06-08T08:06:24","date_gmt":"2017-06-08T07:06:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24590"},"modified":"2017-06-08T08:06:24","modified_gmt":"2017-06-08T07:06:24","slug":"dodens-byracka-nafsar-en-i-halarna","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24590","title":{"rendered":"D\u00f6dens byracka nafsar en i h\u00e4larna."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Det finns morgnar n\u00e4r man kanske bara skulle ligga kvar i s\u00e4ngen, eller om man tar sig upp d\u00e4rifr\u00e5n, stanna i duschen, ja, och nog blir det en l\u00e5ng dusch idag alltid. Varmt vatten som spolar sk\u00f6nt \u00f6ver en gammal mans kropp. Man st\u00e5r d\u00e4r och d\u00e5sar. Tv\u00e5lar in sig. Men sliter sig ur alla duschdemoners grepp till slut. Man kan ju inte st\u00e5 d\u00e4r hela dan. Eller kan man det?<\/p>\n

Men torsdagstr\u00f6tt allts\u00e5. M\u00e5ste sitta en stund. Bara finnas ett tag. Samla ihop sig. Det d\u00e4r tillst\u00e5ndet som m\u00e4ngderna tillgriper kaffe f\u00f6r att ta sig ur, det som andra joggar sig bort ifr\u00e5n. Sj\u00e4lv beh\u00f6ver jag sitta ett tag. Fundera \u00f6ver livet, dagen som ligger framf\u00f6r mig.<\/p>\n

Skriva blogg hj\u00e4lper alltid lite i de h\u00e4r l\u00e4gena. Det blir en mjukstart av de h\u00e4r orden. “Hej dagbok” liksom. Fast n\u00e5gon ana mening finns det s\u00e5klart inte med det. M\u00f6jligen som utloppsventil f\u00f6r en som saknar arbetskamrater. Men det b\u00f6rjar v\u00e4l bli femton\/tjugo \u00e5rs skrivande h\u00e4r ocks\u00e5. Dag l\u00e4ggs till dag.<\/p>\n

\u00c4ntligen finns en l\u00f6dpasta som man kan f\u00f6rvara i rumstemperatur<\/a>. Det \u00e4r s\u00e5dan v\u00e4rlden borde hurra \u00e5t. Men alla kanske inte bryr sig om den revolutionen s\u00e5klart.<\/p>\n

De som tror det \u00e4r enkelt att leva p\u00e5 existensminimum kan ju g\u00e5 och tro det. Det \u00e4r det inte. Men det g\u00e5r och det g\u00e5r mycket b\u00e4ttre n\u00e4r man har ett slutdatum framf\u00f6r sig<\/a>. Etthundranittio dagar har ramlat iv\u00e4g idag. Dagar som l\u00e4ggs till dagar. Det som gr\u00e4mer mig \u00e4r detta sittande i ett limboland. Jo visst, man kan jobba f\u00f6r den d\u00e4r den d\u00e4r dan, 2 november 2021, n\u00e4r det \u00e4r \u00f6ver (ja det \u00e4r min f\u00f6delsedag f.\u00f6.) men orkar man k\u00f6ra p\u00e5 d\u00e5. Som 65 \u00e5ring. Eller har alla k\u00f6rt f\u00f6rbi i full fart d\u00e5. Men det kanske man inte skall vara orolig f\u00f6r f\u00f6rresten, f\u00f6r det har jag f\u00f6rv\u00e4ntat mig under de tjugo \u00e5r som passerat ocks\u00e5. S\u00e5 imponerande \u00e4r inte projekten och alliansernas arbete. Fast m\u00e5let ligger d\u00e4r \u00e4nd\u00e5. M\u00e5ste ju g\u00f6ra det. Hur skall jag kunna leva annars. Jag m\u00e5ste ha n\u00e5got att sikta mot annat \u00e4n pension. Pensionsliv \u00e4r inte jag. Nope.<\/p>\n

Fast vem vet. Den dan. N\u00e4r pensionen betalas ut. D\u00e5 kanske man bara vill vara pension\u00e4r. Eller ocks\u00e5 \u00e4r man d\u00f6d. K\u00e4nns lite lika fr\u00e5n mitt perspektiv just nu. Vi f\u00e5r se hur man ser p\u00e5 det d\u00e4r d\u00e5.<\/p>\n

Hmmmm… aprop\u00e5 d\u00f6d… Borde kanske be och f\u00e5 en s\u00e5dan d\u00e4r ultltraljud f\u00f6r kroppspuls\u00e5derbrock. Skulle visst kolla den med tre \u00e5rs intervaller. Ja ta psa prov igen ocks\u00e5 kanske. Ha ha ja gammelgubbesyndromet det d\u00e4r. Man k\u00e4nner att d\u00f6dens byracka nafsar en i h\u00e4larna. Den d\u00e4r jycken har f\u00e5tt fart p\u00e5 mer \u00e4n en gubbe som annars stannat p\u00e5 sofflocket.<\/p>\n

N\u00e4 nu s\u00e5. Det g\u00e5r inte sitta h\u00e4r bara. N\u00e5got m\u00e5ste man ju g\u00f6ra. Livet \u00e4r gott!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Det finns morgnar n\u00e4r man kanske bara skulle ligga kvar i s\u00e4ngen, eller om man tar sig upp d\u00e4rifr\u00e5n, stanna i duschen, ja, och nog blir det en l\u00e5ng dusch idag alltid. Varmt vatten som spolar sk\u00f6nt \u00f6ver en gammal mans kropp. Man st\u00e5r d\u00e4r och d\u00e5sar. Tv\u00e5lar in sig. Men sliter sig ur alla […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13900,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13900","url_meta":{"origin":24590,"position":0},"title":"D\u00e5 f\u00e5r man ta f\u00f6rsta buss h\u00e4rifr\u00e5n med samma sura min i ansikten som n\u00e4r man kom.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-07-10","format":false,"excerpt":"V\u00e4rmen, v\u00e4rmen, v\u00e4rmen besegrar mig n\u00e4stan men jag t\u00e4nker inte klaga. Nopp. Ute kan vi sitta och \u00e4ta lunch i alla fall. Det \u00e4r undret av alla under. Inne p\u00e5 kontoret \u00e4r det varmt som i en keramikugn. Ute med, fast det bl\u00e5ser en del vindar fr\u00e5n n\u00e5got ok\u00e4nt h\u00e5ll.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"h\u00e4lsingeberg.jpg-for-web-large","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/h%C3%A4lsingeberg.jpg-for-web-large.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/h%C3%A4lsingeberg.jpg-for-web-large.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/h%C3%A4lsingeberg.jpg-for-web-large.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12694,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=12694","url_meta":{"origin":24590,"position":1},"title":"Han sk\u00f6t sig in i evigheten p\u00e5 samma kontor","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-04-04","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag ber om urs\u00e4kt, men jag m\u00e5r gott f\u00f6r det mesta. Ocks\u00e5 sj\u00e4lv eller ensam. \"Lonely\" men inte \"lonesome\". F\u00f6rn\u00f6jsamhet. Kan man vara n\u00f6jd fast man inte \u00e4r n\u00e5gon alls, har ett bankkonto som f\u00f6r det mesta \u00e4r tomt, st\u00e4ndigt l\u00e4ngtar bort, jobbar mer \u00e4n vad man borde. Kan man\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"001","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/001-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/001-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/001-1024x768.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17303,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17303","url_meta":{"origin":24590,"position":2},"title":"Oron","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-04-01","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag har en oro i kroppen som g\u00f6r att jag inte kan kryp ner i den fullst\u00e4ndiga koncentrationen idag. Var kommer den ifr\u00e5n? Varf\u00f6r \u00e4r den h\u00e4r just nu? Jag ser n\u00e4mligen ingen anledning att den finns d\u00e4r. Jag borde lugnt kunna dyka ner och finnas i mitt. Men det\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"smiley-confused_60572421","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/smiley-confused_60572421.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17531,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17531","url_meta":{"origin":24590,"position":3},"title":"En ny morgon","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-04-14","format":false,"excerpt":"En ny morgon. Man kan ta den f\u00f6r given eller inte. Jag har aldrig tagit en ny dag f\u00f6r given. Att jag kan stiga upp, att jag kan \u00f6ppna \u00f6gonen, att m\u00f6jligheter att uppt\u00e4cka nytt finns kvar. Inte ens mina bl\u00e5aste \u00f6gonblick kan \u00e4ndra p\u00e5 det, de som gr\u00e4nsar till\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"BohrPAR2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/BohrPAR2.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/BohrPAR2.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/BohrPAR2.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20154,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20154","url_meta":{"origin":24590,"position":4},"title":"Freden","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-04-08","format":false,"excerpt":"Fredag. Kv\u00e4ll. Heligt. Alltid ledig. I alla fall d\u00e5. En kv\u00e4ll vikt \u00e5t det. Har alltid varit s\u00e5. Alltid tr\u00f6tt. Men \u00f6vertr\u00f6tt. Somnar inte. Tittar p\u00e5 d\u00e5lig film om Walt Disney. Sen serie. Egentligen f\u00e5r jag inte ut ett endaste dugg av n\u00e5got av det d\u00e4r. Men \u00e4r det fredag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"oliv","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/oliv.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19490,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=19490","url_meta":{"origin":24590,"position":5},"title":"Sn\u00e5lskjuts med livet","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-01-19","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag drar mig en extra timme p\u00e5 morgonen. Hulken har j\u00e4vlats tv\u00e5 n\u00e4tter i rad nu och i natt gick det inte s\u00e5 l\u00e4tt att somna efter fixandet. Jo man m\u00e5ste ta tag i en avstannad v\u00e4rmeanl\u00e4ggning n\u00e4r det \u00e4n intr\u00e4ffar. G\u00f6r man inte det letar sig kylan in i\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"camels_in_tunisia","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/camels_in_tunisia.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-6oC","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24590"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24590\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24592,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24590\/revisions\/24592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24590"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24590"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}