![\"Screenshot](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Screenshot-from-2016-08-11-172933.png?resize=330%2C589\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
En bra dag. Jobbm\u00e4ssigt. \u00c4ntligen. Men ont i lungorna. Japp.Sen regn. Syndaflod. N\u00e4ra nog. Men huset st\u00e5r kvar p\u00e5 kullen. Jag med inuti. Och K med. Tror jag. Det var en stund sedan jag s\u00e5g efter. Men tror.<\/p>\n
Men h\u00f6st. Skith\u00f6st. N\u00e4ra nu. Lite v\u00e4rme som n\u00e4stan n\u00e5r hit upp i slutet av veckan. Men det hj\u00e4lper s\u00e5klart inte ett skit. Jag beh\u00f6ver svettas, lida och beklaga mig \u00f6ver hur j\u00e4vla varmt det \u00e4r. Jo, beh\u00f6ver det f\u00f6r att klara av en l\u00e5ng vinter. Nu snart September. Ingenting att hoppas p\u00e5 d\u00e4r mer \u00e4n att tr\u00e4den gulnar och h\u00f6ststormarna n\u00e4rmar sig.<\/p>\n
Usch!<\/p>\n
Tvi!<\/p>\n
Resa bort! Vill jag. L\u00e4nge och l\u00e5ngt! Men kan s\u00e5klart inte det.<\/p>\n
Ja annars bra d\u00e5 allts\u00e5. S\u00e5klart. Varf\u00f6r skulle det inte vara det? Om man nu lever. S\u00e5 otacksam f\u00e5r man \u00e4nd\u00e5 inte vara. Inte i min \u00e5lder. Inte i n\u00e5gon annan \u00e5lder heller om jag f\u00e5r best\u00e4mma.<\/p>\n
Skall snart natta mig sj\u00e4lv. Med en timmes l\u00e4sande innan s\u00f6mn. L\u00e4ser lokal f\u00f6rfattare. F\u00f6rv\u00e5nansv\u00e4rt bra. Hatar mig sj\u00e4lv f\u00f6r att jag f\u00f6rutsatte att det skulle vara d\u00e5ligt. F\u00f6r det \u00e4r det inte. Nyper mig sj\u00e4lv i armen, h\u00e5rt, f\u00f6r att straffa mig f\u00f6r det. Egentligen borde jag ha en sm\u00e4ll. En h\u00e5rd! Uselt att nedv\u00e4rdera n\u00e5got innan man vet. Man m\u00e5ste t\u00e4nka tv\u00e4rt om. Om man \u00e4r n\u00e5got annat \u00e4n en liten bajskorv. Ja och det vill man v\u00e4l inte vara?<\/p>\n
Men l\u00e4gga sig var det. F\u00f6r att det \u00e4r som det \u00e4r. Klockan \u00e4r bara kvart \u00f6ver elva. Egentligen har jag en timme bra arbetstid kvar. Men det har inte fungerat \u00e4nda sedan i v\u00e5ras n\u00e5gon g\u00e5ng. Den d\u00e4r k\u00e4nslan av att vilja mer fattas mig. Jag har ingen som kan ge mig den tillbaks heller. Vem skulle det vara?<\/p>\n
Skulle velat ha tid att skriva… Men hur skulle jag kunna det. Med n\u00e5got slags sj\u00e4lvrespekt. Avundsjukans bittra sp\u00f6ke skulle \u00e4ta upp mig. Fast det aldrig fanns n\u00e5got att vara avundsjuk p\u00e5. S\u00e5klart. Men lika bra det kanske. Ja antagligen. Jag klappar mig sj\u00e4lv p\u00e5 ryggen och vandrar vidare. \u00c4nd\u00e5. Liksom. Som jag alltid gjort.<\/p>\n
Allt g\u00e5r om man vill. Man kan tro p\u00e5 det. Eller inte.<\/p>\n
Jag vet inte. L\u00e4ngre.<\/p>\n
Eller ocks\u00e5 g\u00f6r jag det.<\/p>\n
En del ber till gud.<\/p>\n
Och f\u00e5r svar.<\/p>\n
T\u00e4nk s\u00e5 det kan vara.<\/p>\n
Sj\u00e4lv g\u00e5r jag och l\u00e4gger mig. Ja och hoppas att jag vaknar i skaplig form under morgondagen. Det \u00e4r min enda \u00f6nskan. Kanske skulle man \u00f6nska mer…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
En bra dag. Jobbm\u00e4ssigt. \u00c4ntligen. Men ont i lungorna. Japp.Sen regn. Syndaflod. N\u00e4ra nog. Men huset st\u00e5r kvar p\u00e5 kullen. Jag med inuti. Och K med. Tror jag. Det var en stund sedan jag s\u00e5g efter. Men tror. Men h\u00f6st. Skith\u00f6st. N\u00e4ra nu. Lite v\u00e4rme som n\u00e4stan n\u00e5r hit upp i slutet av veckan. Men […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21280","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17174,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17174","url_meta":{"origin":21280,"position":0},"title":"Buttkotte","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-03-23","format":false,"excerpt":"Man har det lyxigt. \u00c4ldste sonen lagar god lunch. Sj\u00e4lv \u00e4r det bara att g\u00e5 upp och s\u00e4tta sig och \u00e4ta. Supergott, veganskt, starkt och nyttigt. Tack f\u00f6r det. Annars stressar jag. Skall leverera grejer och s\u00e5 fungerar inte en bootloader. Fr\u00e5gan \u00e4r varf\u00f6r och jag har st\u00e4llt den fr\u00e5gan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"220px-Pigne_Landes","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/220px-Pigne_Landes.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":36615,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=36615","url_meta":{"origin":21280,"position":1},"title":"Bolln\u00e4s","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-10-30","format":false,"excerpt":"Bolln\u00e4s avklarat. Handlat f\u00f6r en m\u00e5nad. Bara som mest veckovisa sm\u00e5handlingar \u00e5terst\u00e5r. Mj\u00f6lk, fil yoghurt. Kanske lite frukt. Lite gr\u00f6nt. Lite godis. Men avklarat nu d\u00e5 allts\u00e5. Lika sk\u00f6nt varje g\u00e5ng. Det h\u00e4nder att folk kommenterar v\u00e5r kundvagn. Idag ocks\u00e5. Som om det var n\u00e5got underligt att fylla den en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/IMG_20200827_135714-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/IMG_20200827_135714-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/IMG_20200827_135714-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/IMG_20200827_135714-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/IMG_20200827_135714-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/IMG_20200827_135714-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":40026,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40026","url_meta":{"origin":21280,"position":2},"title":"Som en skruvdragare","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2021-10-09","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by JESHOOTS.com on Pexels.com Jag vilar. Finns v\u00e4l inget ont i det. Med spade och grep visserligen. Men vila \u00e4r det. Det \u00e4r underligt hur skallen fungerar. F\u00e5r den bara annat att g\u00f6ra s\u00e5 \u00e4r det OK. Det \u00e5terh\u00e4mtas. F\u00f6r ig\u00e5r hade nog allt d\u00e4r uppe t\u00f6mts ur som\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"floor plan on table","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-photo-834892.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-photo-834892.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-photo-834892.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-photo-834892.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-photo-834892.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/pexels-photo-834892.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":34324,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=34324","url_meta":{"origin":21280,"position":3},"title":"A eller B, vad man nu menar med D?","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-01-31","format":false,"excerpt":"F\u00f6rkyld. Hostig. Ont i lungorna. Visste v\u00e4l att den d\u00e4r tr\u00f6ttheten i b\u00f6rjan av veckan hade sitt ursprung i n\u00e5got. Men snart helgvila. Bra att ha n\u00e5got att skylla p\u00e5 n\u00e4r man v\u00e4grar kliva upp ur soffan d\u00e5. Japp, den \u00e4r fortfarande gr\u00f6n och kommer fr\u00e5n IKEA. Lungor f\u00f6rresten. Jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20200129_145926597_HDR-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20200129_145926597_HDR-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20200129_145926597_HDR-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20200129_145926597_HDR-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20200129_145926597_HDR-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/IMG_20200129_145926597_HDR-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":40844,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40844","url_meta":{"origin":21280,"position":4},"title":"Tid f\u00f6r dom tappra","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-01-10","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Ricardo Esquivel on Pexels.com Oxdragarveckor f\u00f6r\u00f6ver. Femton veckor till p\u00e5sk. Extra ledig tid f\u00f6rst d\u00e5. Sen kristi (propeller)flygare i maj. En dag. Nationaldag i juni. En dag. Kanske kan en del ocks\u00e5 smita ifr\u00e5n p\u00e5 midsommarafton. I alla fall tj\u00e4nstem\u00e4nnen. De privilegierade. H\u00e5rda veckor f\u00f6r alla. Jag v\u00e4lkomnar.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Screenshot-from-2022-01-10-08-42-27.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Screenshot-from-2022-01-10-08-42-27.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Screenshot-from-2022-01-10-08-42-27.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Screenshot-from-2022-01-10-08-42-27.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13560,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13560","url_meta":{"origin":21280,"position":5},"title":"Stj\u00e4rnstopp p\u00e5 skrytarenan.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-06-14","format":false,"excerpt":"Sommaren har sk\u00e4mt bort mig och min familj med lite grillat, kaffe och \u00a0n\u00e5gra skopor glass ute i tr\u00e4dg\u00e5rden. En m\u00e4nniska beh\u00f6ver inte mer \u00e4n det d\u00e4r. Gemenskap och lite mat och en sol som tinar upp en gammal kropp efter en l\u00e5ng vinter. Vi har en fantastisk tr\u00e4dg\u00e5rd h\u00e4r\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"bjorktrast02_original","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/bjorktrast02_original.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/bjorktrast02_original.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/bjorktrast02_original.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/bjorktrast02_original.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-5xe","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21280","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21280"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21280\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21281,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21280\/revisions\/21281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21280"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21280"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21280"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}