{"id":21035,"date":"2016-07-14T20:08:03","date_gmt":"2016-07-14T19:08:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=21035"},"modified":"2016-07-14T20:08:03","modified_gmt":"2016-07-14T19:08:03","slug":"jamvikten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=21035","title":{"rendered":"J\u00e4mvikten"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-21036\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/anonymous-Screenshot-from-2016-07-14-160335.png?resize=420%2C505\" alt=\"anonymous-Screenshot from 2016-07-14 16:03:35\" width=\"420\" height=\"505\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/anonymous-Screenshot-from-2016-07-14-160335.png?w=420&amp;ssl=1 420w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/anonymous-Screenshot-from-2016-07-14-160335.png?resize=250%2C300&amp;ssl=1 250w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 420px) 100vw, 420px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Idag, f\u00f6rv\u00e5nad, en f\u00f6re detta arbetskamrat skickar mig ovanst\u00e5ende. Hen idrottsl\u00e4rare, ung, vi \u00e4r s\u00e5 olika, och jag tror att det \u00e4r just d\u00e4rf\u00f6r jag blir s\u00e5 glad av att f\u00e5 det d\u00e4r meddelandet. Ja jag beh\u00f6vde h\u00f6ra det d\u00e4r ocks\u00e5 idag. Det har varit tungt och uppf\u00f6rsbacke ett tag och jag har f\u00e5tt gneta dit varje kodrad in i min editor under n\u00e5gra veckor. D\u00e5 v\u00e4rmer s\u00e5dana h\u00e4r ord (\u00e4ven om de g\u00e4ller en av mina texter inte min kod). Ord som inte hade beh\u00f6vt s\u00e4gas, som det ofta \u00e4r, men som sas \u00e4nd\u00e5 f\u00f6r att g\u00f6ra gott. Just det, det sista, gillar jag mest, att n\u00e5gon v\u00e4ljer att g\u00f6ra gott, skicka iv\u00e4g det d\u00e4r positiva. Speciellt om det, som h\u00e4r allts\u00e5, kommer fr\u00e5n ett helt ov\u00e4ntat h\u00e5ll.<\/p>\n<p>Jag sparar de d\u00e4r orden i en folder p\u00e5 min backupdisk. En folder f\u00f6r s\u00e4mre tider. Jag har hittills aldrig tittat igenom den igen men den inneh\u00e5ller v\u00e4l ett hundratal liknande kommentarer om olika texter jag skrivit vid det h\u00e4r laget. N\u00e4r och om allt blir m\u00f6rker s\u00e5 har jag den i beredskap f\u00f6r att lyfta upp min sj\u00e4l upp i ljuset igen. Som sj\u00e4lvhj\u00e4lp &#8211; kanske som en livr\u00e4ddare.<\/p>\n<p>Nej &#8220;skriv en bok&#8221; kommentarerna hamnar inte d\u00e4r.<\/p>\n<p>I sammanhanget skall man ocks\u00e5 bet\u00e4nka att jag har en hel v\u00e4gg h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kontoret med det negativa. Det som skulle kunna dra ner mig till hagelb\u00f6ssan i munnen och tryck av niv\u00e5n. Men som inte g\u00f6r det. &#8220;<strong><em>N\u00e4r man bryr sig lika mycket om ber\u00f6mmet som man g\u00f6r om det negativa s\u00e5 \u00e4r man framme<\/em><\/strong>&#8221; sa n\u00e5gon. Ja ungef\u00e4r s\u00e5. Jag har kommit en bit p\u00e5 den v\u00e4gen. Den sv\u00e4nger inte s\u00e5 j\u00e4vla mycket den d\u00e4r sj\u00e4lvk\u00e4nslan l\u00e4ngre n\u00e4r man h\u00f6r \u00e5sikter om det man g\u00f6r. Men helt klarar men det s\u00e5klart inte. Ja om det var s\u00e5 s\u00e5 skulle jag ju s\u00e5klart aldrig ha skrivit det h\u00e4r blogginl\u00e4gget. Eller f\u00f6r den skull fortfarande ha den bl\u00f6dande taggen kvar i br\u00f6stet efter PO Tidholm&#8217;s: &#8220;<strong>pladder<\/strong>&#8220;.<\/p>\n<p>I min familj var man s\u00e4llan uppmuntrande. Men man var till\u00e5tande vilket gjorde att det fungerade i alla fall. Men jag minns att jag ofta var avundsjuk p\u00e5 kompisarna i bandet som hade f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar och syskon som satt d\u00e4r i publiken n\u00e4r det var en spelning (p\u00e5 dagtid). F\u00f6r att uppmuntra helt enkelt. Det skulle aldrig ha h\u00e4nt i min familj. Man fick liksom gissa sig till den d\u00e4r uppmuntran, ja och man visste att den fanns d\u00e4r, helt s\u00e4kert, bergfast, men det uttalades aldrig. Ingen sa &#8220;BRA&#8221;. Aldrig n\u00e5gonsin. Man f\u00f6rv\u00e4ntade sig inte det heller. Det fanns d\u00e4r indirekt eftersom ingen sa &#8220;d\u00e5ligt&#8221; heller. D\u00e4rf\u00f6r blev jag oerh\u00f6rt f\u00f6rv\u00e5nad n\u00e4r min bror sa att han gillade det jag skriver f\u00f6r n\u00e5gra \u00e5r sedan. Paff rent ut av.\u00a0 Det var ungef\u00e4r p\u00e5 samma niv\u00e5 som dagens positiva \u00f6verraskningsbakelse. Helt ov\u00e4ntat.<\/p>\n<p>Nu glad allts\u00e5. Lagom glad. Jobbar vidare som vilken annan dag som helst. S\u00e5klart. Skyldig att ge n\u00e5gon annan en liknade kommentar f\u00f6r att bli kvitt och n\u00e5 j\u00e4mvikt. Den jag tror mest p\u00e5.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Idag, f\u00f6rv\u00e5nad, en f\u00f6re detta arbetskamrat skickar mig ovanst\u00e5ende. Hen idrottsl\u00e4rare, ung, vi \u00e4r s\u00e5 olika, och jag tror att det \u00e4r just d\u00e4rf\u00f6r jag blir s\u00e5 glad av att f\u00e5 det d\u00e4r meddelandet. Ja jag beh\u00f6vde h\u00f6ra det d\u00e4r ocks\u00e5 idag. Det har varit tungt och uppf\u00f6rsbacke ett tag och jag har f\u00e5tt gneta [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2569,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=2569","url_meta":{"origin":21035,"position":0},"title":"Jag t\u00e4nker &#8220;negerboll&#8221;","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-01-04","format":false,"excerpt":"N\u00e4r Astrid Lindgren blir rasist med sin \"negerkung\" s\u00e5 \u00e4r jag det ocks\u00e5. Tyv\u00e4rr \u00e4r det bara s\u00e5. Samma med TinTin. Belgien har sin historia i Kongo (Kung Leopold) som \u00e4r hemskare \u00e4n hemsk men den \u00e4r och b\u00f6r vara en del av Belgien. Den skall aldrig gl\u00f6mmas. Jo, man\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Chokladbollar","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Chokladbollar.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Chokladbollar.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Chokladbollar.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Chokladbollar.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18054,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=18054","url_meta":{"origin":21035,"position":1},"title":"Studios\u00f6ndag","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-06-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Man m\u00e5ste bevisa f\u00f6r sig sj\u00e4lv ibland att man klarar det. Fredag kv\u00e4ll till s\u00f6ndag kv\u00e4ll utan att arbeta. Ja en s\u00e5dan helg har det varit. Nehejd\u00e5 jag har egentligen inte tid med det!\u00a0 Jod\u00e5 n\u00e5gra mail svarar jag p\u00e5 men definitivt inget mer jobborienterat blir gjort. Det m\u00e5las, klipps\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"studio","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/studio.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/studio.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/studio.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/studio.png?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":47573,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=47573","url_meta":{"origin":21035,"position":2},"title":"En suck fr\u00e5n kullen","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2024-04-25","format":false,"excerpt":"N\u00e4r vi flyttade hit fr\u00e5n T\u00e4by 1986 s\u00e5 sn\u00f6ade det s\u00e5h\u00e4r p\u00e5 midsommarafton. Att det var en varning och att man skulle dragit direkt det fattade man ju inte d\u00e5 - men fattar nu. Fast nu har man liksom bott in sig. Fast om man blir kvar och d\u00f6r h\u00e4r\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Swedish&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/IMG_20240425_063658-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/IMG_20240425_063658-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/IMG_20240425_063658-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/IMG_20240425_063658-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/IMG_20240425_063658-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/IMG_20240425_063658-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":25773,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=25773","url_meta":{"origin":21035,"position":3},"title":"&#8220;Godricka&#8221; och godhet","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-10-29","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag hinner knappt posta min senaste l\u00e4sta bok och g\u00e5 ut sen stannar en ok\u00e4nd bil och han vandrar ut. K och jag binder om v\u00e4xter som skydd inf\u00f6r vinterns r\u00e5djursattacker och \u00e4r d\u00e4rf\u00f6r ute. Jag ropar. Han viker av. Jag k\u00e4nner inte igen. Som vanligt. Jehovas vittne kanske? Men,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/IMG_20171029_134403997-768x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13750,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13750","url_meta":{"origin":21035,"position":4},"title":"&#8220;Det paketet f\u00e4rdas \u00f6ver en hel v\u00e4rld och inneh\u00e5ller mina dr\u00f6mmar&#8221;","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-07-03","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag vaknar upp till \u00e4nnu en dag och k\u00e4nner som vanligt samma euforiska k\u00e4nsla \u00f6ver att f\u00e5 ynnesten att finnas till en dag till. En timme i taget, en minut till i r\u00f6relse fram\u00e5t, s\u00e5 forts\u00e4tter livet. Att \u00e4nnu en dag f\u00e5 bygga p\u00e5 mitt livsverk, min, \u00e4ven om jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Shenzhen_night_street","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23779,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=23779","url_meta":{"origin":21035,"position":5},"title":"Ur mina h\u00e4nder&#8230;","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-03-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag noterar det d\u00e4r huset. Det som ligger d\u00e4r ute p\u00e5 \u00f6n. Ja och det finns el, en spis, ett hus. jag ser mig sj\u00e4lv i det d\u00e4r huset. Bortkopplad fr\u00e5n v\u00e4rlden. Fast lite mobilt bredband kanske man skulle kunna unna sig. Men, ja, jo, d\u00e4r borde jag leva resten\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20170321_220808-1024x576.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20170321_220808-1024x576.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20170321_220808-1024x576.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-5th","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21035"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21035\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21037,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21035\/revisions\/21037"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}