{"id":20562,"date":"2016-05-30T09:33:19","date_gmt":"2016-05-30T08:33:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20562"},"modified":"2016-05-30T09:33:19","modified_gmt":"2016-05-30T08:33:19","slug":"for-alltid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20562","title":{"rendered":"F\u00f6r alltid"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone  wp-image-20404\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/5688582-kaffe-1024x838.jpg?resize=363%2C298\" alt=\"5688582-kaffe\" width=\"363\" height=\"298\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Det \u00e4r v\u00e4ldigt intensiv f\u00e5gels\u00e5ng d\u00e4r ute i \u00e5r. Har man sv\u00e5rt att sova om morgonen kan jag t\u00e4nka mig att det \u00e4r ett gissel. Jag har inte det. Oftast inte pga f\u00e5gels\u00e5ng i alla fall. F\u00e5gels\u00e5ng lugnar mig. I alla dess varianter, ja utom m\u00f6jligen d\u00e5 i hackspettsungeform. Det blir f\u00f6r skr\u00e4nigt, f\u00f6r entonigt, f\u00f6r ih\u00e5llande.<\/p>\n<p>Jag brygger en kopp kaffe h\u00e4r p\u00e5 morgonen. I brist p\u00e5 te. Slut n\u00e4mligen. F\u00e5r fyllas p\u00e5 imorgon. Risken blir att jag blir som en Duracellkanin under dan. Inte van kaffe s\u00e5 tidigt. F\u00f6rr hade man druckit den f\u00f6rsta kanna innan tio och l\u00e4ngtade efter n\u00e4sta. Icke s\u00e5 idag allts\u00e5. Tar ett Mariekex, en kopia av originalet s\u00e5klart, billigt, transfetter, ett som stabiliserar. Ja om sanningen skall fram handlar det nog snarare om tjugotalet kex. Jag tror p\u00e5 sanningen.<\/p>\n<p>Regn. Programmerarv\u00e4der. Men mina tankar fladdrar omkring. Har sv\u00e5rt att koncentrera mig. Men skall g\u00f6ra ett allvarligt f\u00f6rs\u00f6k att dyka in i koden idag. D\u00e4r inne d\u00e4r min sj\u00e4lvterapi finns. D\u00e4r jag gl\u00f6mmer v\u00e4rlden utanf\u00f6r. D\u00e4r det \u00e4r lugn och ro. Egentligen passar jag nog inte i v\u00e4rlden h\u00e4r utanf\u00f6r. Skulle v\u00e4l stanna d\u00e4r inne. F\u00f6r alltid. G\u00e5 in och aldrig komma ut igen.<\/p>\n<p>Bokslutsmaterial iv\u00e4g idag. Ja p\u00e4rmar skall k\u00f6ras \u00f6ver senare under veckan. Det \u00e4r i alla fall sk\u00f6nt. &#8220;Ordning och reda med l\u00f6ning p\u00e5 fredag.&#8221; Ja inte s\u00e5 mycket l\u00f6n f\u00f6r m\u00f6dan. Inte enligt g\u00e4ngse normer i alla fall. Massor av bel\u00f6ningar utanf\u00f6r normsystemet. Men f\u00f6r en utomst\u00e5ende betraktare? Knappast en succ\u00e9 s\u00e5klart.\u00a0 Det kr\u00e4vs priser f\u00f6r det. Ja och det duger med egenp\u00e5hittade och handritade diplom. S\u00e5 l\u00e5gt sjunker inte jag. Men f\u00e5r s\u00e5klart inte dom heller. Inget att oroa sig f\u00f6r allts\u00e5.<\/p>\n<p>Gr\u00e4smattan forts\u00e4tter sin explosion h\u00e4r utanf\u00f6r. Man m\u00e5ste snart ut igen. Vandra fram och tillbaks och tillbaks och fram och runt och upp och ner. Kanske klarar den sig till helgen. Kanske inte. Vi f\u00e5r se. Det \u00e4r n\u00e4r k\u00e4nslan av att det ser f\u00f6r j\u00e4vligt ut \u00f6verstiger den negativa k\u00e4nslan att anv\u00e4nda god arbetstid mitt i veckan till gr\u00e4sklippning som man m\u00e5ste ge sig ut. \u00c4nd\u00e5. Annars f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker jag l\u00e4gga det d\u00e4r p\u00e5 helgerna. Skilja p\u00e5 de olika uppgifterna. M\u00f6jligen blir det annat n\u00e4r man blir pension\u00e4r. Enklare. Blandliv. \u00c5terst\u00e5r att se. Om man lever. Tills dess.<\/p>\n<p>Kortmeningar.<\/p>\n<p>Gillar.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c4nnu.<\/p>\n<p>Kan inte hj\u00e4lpa det.<\/p>\n<p>Trettiofyra personer kvar innan man b\u00f6rjar bygga fiber h\u00e4r i byn. K\u00e4nns o\u00f6verstigligt. Men det gjorde de 78 som redan anm\u00e4lt sig ocks\u00e5. 52% Byn i tv\u00e5 l\u00e4ger. Jag trodde aldrig p\u00e5 det intresset. Om jag skall vara \u00e4rlig. Den framsyntheten. Men de som \u00e4r kvar? Kan de se vad det h\u00e4r betyder f\u00f6r dom sj\u00e4lva och f\u00f6r den by de lever i? Jag \u00e4r inte helt s\u00e4ker p\u00e5 det. Men vi f\u00e5r se. Det m\u00e5ste v\u00e4l ta ett \u00e5r till innan n\u00e5got h\u00e4nder. Om alls.<\/p>\n<p>Dags att dyka ner i \u00c5kes v\u00e4rld. D\u00e4r finns inga troll som kan ta mig och alla \u00e4r sn\u00e4lla, goda och glada. Ja till och med jag \u00e4r en att r\u00e4kna med. Kodningsdags allts\u00e5.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Det \u00e4r v\u00e4ldigt intensiv f\u00e5gels\u00e5ng d\u00e4r ute i \u00e5r. Har man sv\u00e5rt att sova om morgonen kan jag t\u00e4nka mig att det \u00e4r ett gissel. Jag har inte det. Oftast inte pga f\u00e5gels\u00e5ng i alla fall. F\u00e5gels\u00e5ng lugnar mig. I alla dess varianter, ja utom m\u00f6jligen d\u00e5 i hackspettsungeform. Det blir f\u00f6r skr\u00e4nigt, f\u00f6r entonigt, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":24871,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=24871","url_meta":{"origin":20562,"position":0},"title":"Man f\u00e5r f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka l\u00f6sa det innan","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-07-09","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag somnar i soffan p\u00e5 fredagen. Ja jag \u00e4r nu \u00e4nd\u00e5 en gammal man och en pizza, K's hemlagade, ligger d\u00e4r i magen och blir till slut f\u00f6r mycket f\u00f6r mig. Ryggl\u00e4ge och snarkningar. L\u00e5tsasjobb kan t\u00e4ra p\u00e5 en gammal gubbe som mig ungef\u00e4r som riktigt arbete t\u00e4r p\u00e5 en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/poster-1cb84c07-8f89-48a2-be3b-b87d697bc4c3-683x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":20604,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20604","url_meta":{"origin":20562,"position":1},"title":"Lollipops","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-06-02","format":false,"excerpt":"En pojke. Fattig. Utan mat. Afrika. Han f\u00e5r tv\u00e5 klubbor av en soldat. Lollipops. Han stoppar den ena i munnen. Lyser upp. En fotograf g\u00e5r n\u00e4ra och tar en bild. Pojken erbjuder fotografen den andra klubban. Han har ju tv\u00e5... Lite av det d\u00e4r h\u00e4nde h\u00e4r ig\u00e5r. Som sm\u00e5 smultron\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"5918140-Colorful-lollipops-in-a-row-on-a-white-background-Stock-Photo-lollipops-lollipop","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/5918140-Colorful-lollipops-in-a-row-on-a-white-background-Stock-Photo-lollipops-lollipop-1024x581.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/5918140-Colorful-lollipops-in-a-row-on-a-white-background-Stock-Photo-lollipops-lollipop-1024x581.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/5918140-Colorful-lollipops-in-a-row-on-a-white-background-Stock-Photo-lollipops-lollipop-1024x581.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20135,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20135","url_meta":{"origin":20562,"position":2},"title":"Hur d\u00e5!?","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-04-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Torsdag. Jag har en hel oskriven blank dag framf\u00f6r mig. Jag har visserligen lite ont i v\u00e4nster sida men har haft det f\u00f6rut och \u00f6verlevt en s\u00e5dan dag. Det skall g\u00f6ra ont om man levat p\u00e5 riktigt. En blank dag \u00e4r ett l\u00f6fte om att kunna fylla den med n\u00e5got\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Screenshot from 2016-04-07 09:13:21","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Screenshot-from-2016-04-07-091321-1024x565.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Screenshot-from-2016-04-07-091321-1024x565.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Screenshot-from-2016-04-07-091321-1024x565.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20870,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20870","url_meta":{"origin":20562,"position":3},"title":"D\u00f6d eller levande.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-07-01","format":false,"excerpt":"Klockan \u00e4r strax halv sju h\u00e4r nere p\u00e5 kontoret. Jag har varit vaken n\u00e5gon timme. Fast inte suttit h\u00e4r d\u00e5. Sovit. Mest hela natten faktiskt. Ja och vaknat, uppt\u00e4ckt att jag vaknat till en ny dag, k\u00e4nt tacksamhet f\u00f6r det. Det g\u00f6r jag varje morgon. Tack tack. Sitter med en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"natur7","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/natur7.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/natur7.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/natur7.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/natur7.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12919,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=12919","url_meta":{"origin":20562,"position":4},"title":"Bangalore &#8211; Lo(o)s &#8211; Hasselt och lite Kina","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-04-21","format":false,"excerpt":"Klockan \u00e4r tv\u00e5 p\u00e5 natten i Bangalore d\u00e4r en av mina kontakter befinner sig. Ingen p\u00e5sk d\u00e4r s\u00e5 han har skickat trettio mail om dan hela helgen. V\u00e4rlden \u00e4r stor och det \u00e4r alltid n\u00e5gon som \u00e4r vaken eller som sover. 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Det \u00e4r fantastiskt. Fil, en h\u00e5rdmacka och ett stort glas los-vatten. Jo och s\u00e5 har jag papperstidning i fem veckor f\u00f6r femtio sp\u00e4nn. Svenskan. Det \u00e4r h\u00e4rligt att sitta d\u00e4r i solen och l\u00e4sa en stund.\u00a0 N\u00e4r jag blir 104 skall jag med darrande st\u00e4mma ber\u00e4tta\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180509_130611905-576x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180509_130611905-576x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/IMG_20180509_130611905-576x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-5lE","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20562","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20562"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20562\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20566,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20562\/revisions\/20566"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20562"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20562"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20562"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}