{"id":19373,"date":"2015-12-23T22:53:20","date_gmt":"2015-12-23T21:53:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=19373"},"modified":"2015-12-23T22:53:20","modified_gmt":"2015-12-23T21:53:20","slug":"julafton-snart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=19373","title":{"rendered":"Julafton, snart."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"gran18\"<\/p>\n

Julmaten avsmakad. Julwhiskyn \u00f6ppnad. Allt tillfyllest. Det d\u00e4r m\u00e4tta som skall f\u00f6lja en hela v\u00e4gen fram till trettondagen \u00e4r redan d\u00e4r. Jag hatar k\u00e4nslan redan nu men kommer naturligtvis bara att underh\u00e5lla den hela v\u00e4gen dit. Galenskap. D\u00f6dsdans.<\/p>\n

Men jag gillar den h\u00e4r k\u00e4nslan av att nu r\u00e4cker det med att bara finnas till ett par dagar. Lyx. Oftare l\u00e5ter jag jobbpiskan vina ist\u00e4llet f\u00f6r att njuta. F\u00f6dd son. Uppv\u00e4xt med det. Men det \u00e4r s\u00e5klart bara sjukt.<\/p>\n

F\u00f6rs\u00f6ker se lite tv p\u00e5 kv\u00e4llen. N\u00e5gon ny serie. Det fungerar s\u00e5klart inte. Skit. Inte uppesittarkv\u00e4ll heller. Inte f\u00f6r mig. S\u00e4kert f\u00f6r andra. Antagligen \u00e4r jag f\u00f6r dum f\u00f6r det d\u00e4r. Man beh\u00f6ver ha h\u00f6gre IQ f\u00f6r att f\u00f6rst\u00e5. Som resten av befolkningen. Jag ger upp ist\u00e4llet. L\u00e4mnar in. Mest bara f\u00f6r att jag vet att jag har en f\u00f6rbannat bra bok liggande p\u00e5 nattduksbordet. En som s\u00f6g in mig i sig efter tv\u00e5 sidor. Jojo M. Oja! S\u00e4ger jag. Underbart. Den f\u00f6rsta julboken.<\/p>\n

Men tr\u00f6tt ocks\u00e5. Upp tidigt i morse och iv\u00e4g och st\u00e5ngas med alla andra som ocks\u00e5 steg upp tidigt och gav sig ut f\u00f6r att fylla sk\u00e5p och l\u00e5dor.\u00a0 Galna \u00f6gon. Svettiga armh\u00e5lor. Vassa armb\u00e5gar och ingen h\u00f6gerregel eller f\u00f6r den skull en best\u00e4md sida att f\u00e4rdas p\u00e5. Tr\u00f6ttar ut. V\u00e4gen ner \u00e4r dessutom hal som fan. V\u00e4gen upp halare. En bil ligger p\u00e5 taket n\u00e4r vi n\u00e4rmar oss Lo(o)s. Ser ut som om det var en stund sedan det h\u00e4nde. Men vi stannar och kollar f\u00f6r s\u00e4kerhets skull. Inga skadade. Inga lik. Bara en demolerad bil p\u00e5 taket i ett dike. En julvurpa. F\u00f6rhoppningsvis ramlar inte n\u00e5gon f\u00f6rvirrad m\u00e4nniska omkring i skogen med sladda-av-v\u00e4gen-och rulla-runt-syndrom. Det kan s\u00e4nka den starkaste. Speciellt f\u00f6re jul. Sj\u00e4lva kommer vi i alla fall hem helskinnade. Lugn f\u00e4rd, andra lugna ute \u00e4r vad man kan tacka f\u00f6r det.<\/p>\n

Men julafton allts\u00e5. Snart.<\/p>\n

Jag sover d\u00e5ligt i natt. Vaknar flera g\u00e5nger. M\u00e5ste kissa. Dr\u00f6mmer mardr\u00f6m. M\u00f6rdare vill \u00e5t oss. Den styckande typen. S\u00e4llan jag dr\u00f6mmer s\u00e5dant. Eller \u00f6ver huvud taget kommer ih\u00e5g en dr\u00f6m. Men jag kom p\u00e5 motmedel. Det var n\u00e5got med elektrifierade zoner. D\u00f6dliga f\u00f6r v\u00e5ldsm\u00e4n. Ja, dr\u00f6mmar har sin egen logik.<\/p>\n

\u00c4lgtjur p\u00e5 \u00e5ker. St\u00e5tlig. Krona. Den sk\u00f6na joggande g\u00e5ngen. Det finns inget djur som kan r\u00f6ra sig s\u00e5 graci\u00f6st som en \u00e4lg. Det \u00e4r dans. Och det spelar ingen roll om det \u00e4r sly eller sten som \u00e4r dansgolv. Dom dansar lika graci\u00f6st fram \u00e4nd\u00e5. Underbart att se. Sv\u00e5rt att t\u00e4nka sig att n\u00e5gon kan s\u00e4tta en kula i ett s\u00e5 vacker djur. Man m\u00e5ste vara en speciell m\u00e4nniska f\u00f6r att klara det. Eller hungrig. D\u00e5 \u00e4r det l\u00e4tt att f\u00f6rst\u00e5. Men inte som m\u00e4tt. Nej, inte d\u00e5. Fast jag anar n\u00e5got slags han, hon, det, guds komplex hos dem som trycker av. De vill kontrollera v\u00e4rlden. Anser sig ha r\u00e4tt att g\u00f6ra det. Hur l\u00e5ngt fr\u00e5n mig befinner sig d\u00e5 inte dessa m\u00e4nniskor. Men allt det d\u00e4r \u00e4r s\u00e5klart bara urs\u00e4kter. F\u00f6r att man vill m\u00f6rda. De tr\u00e4der fram n\u00e4r annat skall bort ocks\u00e5. Var s\u00e5 s\u00e4ker. Jag \u00e4r r\u00e4dd f\u00f6r de d\u00e4r m\u00e4nniskorna. \u00c4lgarna med.<\/p>\n

Men boken ropar efter mig. Skriker genom golv och v\u00e4ggar. B\u00e4st att h\u00f6rsamma. Man m\u00e5ste lyda sin bok. Om den \u00e4r bra. S\u00e5 \u00e4r det- En universell lag det d\u00e4r. Whiskyn var f\u00f6rresten f\u00f6rtr\u00e4fflig. Livet g\u00e5r att leva.<\/p>\n

En riktigt god jul p\u00e5 er ni som l\u00e4ser det h\u00e4r. Jag vet vilka ni \u00e4r. NSA med. Beware!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Julmaten avsmakad. Julwhiskyn \u00f6ppnad. Allt tillfyllest. Det d\u00e4r m\u00e4tta som skall f\u00f6lja en hela v\u00e4gen fram till trettondagen \u00e4r redan d\u00e4r. Jag hatar k\u00e4nslan redan nu men kommer naturligtvis bara att underh\u00e5lla den hela v\u00e4gen dit. Galenskap. D\u00f6dsdans. Men jag gillar den h\u00e4r k\u00e4nslan av att nu r\u00e4cker det med att bara finnas till ett […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":22111,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=22111","url_meta":{"origin":19373,"position":0},"title":"F\u00f6rdelen med att vara halvblind","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-11-14","format":false,"excerpt":"Varmgrader ute. Bra, Hj\u00e4lper fryslortar som mig att leva. Fast konstigt nog blir man mer frusen just i det d\u00e4r skiftet runt nollan. Det m\u00e5ste v\u00e4ga \u00f6ver \u00e5t ena eller andra h\u00e5llet f\u00f6r att man skall m\u00e5 s\u00e5d\u00e4r inomhus-vinter-gott. Just nu \u00e4r jag d\u00e4r. Varmt h\u00e4r i mitt lilla rum.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"petite","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Petite.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Petite.jpeg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Petite.jpeg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Petite.jpeg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":34095,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=34095","url_meta":{"origin":19373,"position":1},"title":"Nu","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-01-12","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r inte ofta, men ibland \u00e4nd\u00e5, som f\u00f6r mig i l\u00f6rdags n\u00e4r jag sitter framf\u00f6r brasan med ett glas med julwhiskyn i handen, den som jag fick av J. i julklapp. K. grejar kv\u00e4llsmat i k\u00f6ket. Jag bara sitter d\u00e4r. Lite halvsjuk, har inte gjort mycket under dagen. F\u00f6rkylning.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191103_135930352_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191103_135930352_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191103_135930352_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191103_135930352_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG_20191103_135930352_HDR-EFFECTS.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16192,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=16192","url_meta":{"origin":19373,"position":2},"title":"The END, n\u00e4stan","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-01-17","format":false,"excerpt":"Egentligen t\u00e4nkte jag bara skriva \"The END\", inget mer, kanske l\u00e4gga till en l\u00e4nk till detta, men skiter i det. Ja ibland blir man tr\u00f6tt p\u00e5 att blogga. 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Ljuset har segrat. Det h\u00e5ller i sig det h\u00e4r till n\u00e5gra veckor efter midsommar, sen blir det m\u00f6rker igen, i augusti \u00e4r n\u00e4tterna redan svarta. Men inte nu allts\u00e5. 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Ocks\u00e5 sj\u00e4lv eller ensam. \"Lonely\" men inte \"lonesome\". F\u00f6rn\u00f6jsamhet. Kan man vara n\u00f6jd fast man inte \u00e4r n\u00e5gon alls, har ett bankkonto som f\u00f6r det mesta \u00e4r tomt, st\u00e4ndigt l\u00e4ngtar bort, jobbar mer \u00e4n vad man borde. 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