{"id":17578,"date":"2015-04-16T13:51:23","date_gmt":"2015-04-16T12:51:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/?p=17578"},"modified":"2016-11-20T17:23:04","modified_gmt":"2016-11-20T16:23:04","slug":"norf-och-noff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17578","title":{"rendered":"N\u00f6rf och n\u00f6ff"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Glad-gris\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Det bl\u00e5ser. Men den l\u00f6sa pl\u00e5ten sitter kvar. Vinkar i vinden. En riktig k\u00e4mpe. Ja jag borde g\u00e5 upp och befria den som bel\u00f6ning f\u00f6r god kamp. Men \u00e4r f\u00f6r feg. F\u00f6r h\u00f6gt. Man kan d\u00f6. Vill leva.<\/p>\n

Jag sitter och v\u00e4ntar p\u00e5 att kaffet skall bli klart. Det puttrar, fr\u00e4ser och luktar gott. Strax s\u00e5 rinner det ner i min strupe. Ut i blodet med giftet som v\u00e4cker som socker. S\u00f6ver sen. S\u00e5 att man beh\u00f6ver mer gift. Men bara lunchkaffe h\u00e4r. Resten av g\u00e5ngerna blir det te n\u00e4r det skall h\u00e4llas varm v\u00e4tska ner i halsen. Morgon och kv\u00e4ll. Bergamott \u00e4r min v\u00e4n.<\/p>\n

N\u00e4r kaffet \u00e4r klart dags att vara pick-and-place maskin, Det g\u00e5r sakta n\u00e4r ocoola gubbar \u00e4r det. En riktig maskin st\u00e5r h\u00f6gt p\u00e5 listan. Dyr. Men om sanningen skall fram s\u00e5 beh\u00f6ver jag v\u00e4l ingen \u00e4n. Ocool gubbe duger. Ja man skulle kunna skriva suger d\u00e4r. Om man inte passat sig. Men det fungerar. Timpenning \u00e4r inget man tittar p\u00e5 som f\u00f6retagare. Hur man \u00e4n r\u00e4knar s\u00e5 ligger de flesta f\u00f6retagare l\u00e5ngt under l\u00e4gsta l\u00f6ner. Ja fast de kanske tj\u00e4nar bra pengar just nu s\u00e5 finns det \u00e5r av 16h\/dag p\u00e5 skitl\u00f6n som ocks\u00e5 skall tas med i ber\u00e4kningarna. Det kr\u00e4vs passion ocks\u00e5. Annars kan man lika g\u00e4rna skita i det.<\/p>\n

Citrontr\u00e4det st\u00e5r i biblioteket och l\u00e4ngtar ut. Det som vi har kidnappat. Placerat i en v\u00e4rld det inte borde beh\u00f6va finnas i. Men vackert. Jag brukar smeka det med mjuka fingrar \u00f6ver stammen, bladen och de gr\u00f6na citronerna s\u00e5 fort jag kommer \u00e5t. Som en k\u00e4rlekshandling. Vi l\u00e4ngtar b\u00e5da s\u00f6derut. Vill k\u00e4nna salt fr\u00e5n havet i vindarna. Ja det har vi gemensamt. Men vintern har varit sv\u00e5rt mot citrontr\u00e4d st\u00e5endes inomhus i bibliotek. Sol och v\u00e4rme beh\u00f6vs det nu. Massor. S\u00e5 att det f\u00e5r komma ut p\u00e5 gr\u00f6nbete. Men vintern har varit sv\u00e5r p\u00e5 mina pelargoner h\u00e4r p\u00e5 kontoret ocks\u00e5. Aldrig har s\u00e5 m\u00e5nga d\u00f6tt. Har haft sv\u00e5rt att f\u00e5 fart p\u00e5 sticklingar med. Det som brukar vara s\u00e5 l\u00e4tt annars. Det var n\u00e5got med o-liv och den h\u00e4r vintern tydligen.<\/p>\n

N\u00f6ter v\u00e4garna med mina skor fortfarande. L\u00e4ngtar ut i skogen. Vill sitta vid en skogsj\u00f6 och bara lyssna p\u00e5 tystnaden. Fast helt tyst \u00e4r det s\u00e5klart aldrig. Storlommen, prasslet i buskarna, klucket av sm\u00e5 v\u00e5gor mot stenen som man sitter p\u00e5. Ja det d\u00e4r \u00e4r tystnadens ljud. Ljud som inte tar sig in i ett huvud som befinner sig i lugnet bortom allt. Jag d\u00e4r kan jag sitta en stund. Tills myggorna blir f\u00f6r sv\u00e5ra eller till kv\u00e4llen kommer eller tills hungern griper tag i mig. Jag och stenen, himlen och sj\u00f6n. Tillsammans som pusselbitar av universum.<\/p>\n

Just det d\u00e4r lugna \u00e4r motvikten till stans larm. Ja och jag \u00e4lskar b\u00e5da p\u00e5 samma s\u00e4tt.\u00a0 Det lugna beh\u00f6ver jag f\u00f6r att \u00f6verleva. Det vill jag ha som grund i mitt liv. Staden f\u00e5r st\u00e5 f\u00f6r det andra. Tillsammans blir det jag. Precis som med jobb och vila. J\u00e4mvikt igen. Jag kan sjunga j\u00e4mviktens lov tills ni skrikandes ber om n\u00e5d. Tigger mig att sluta. G\u00f6r kanske det. Men det \u00e4r bara att sluta l\u00e4sa orden. Du best\u00e4mmer det. Inte jag. Jag bryr mig inte. Jag har f\u00f6r l\u00e4nge sedan gett upp<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Det bl\u00e5ser. Men den l\u00f6sa pl\u00e5ten sitter kvar. Vinkar i vinden. En riktig k\u00e4mpe. Ja jag borde g\u00e5 upp och befria den som bel\u00f6ning f\u00f6r god kamp. Men \u00e4r f\u00f6r feg. F\u00f6r h\u00f6gt. Man kan d\u00f6. Vill leva. Jag sitter och v\u00e4ntar p\u00e5 att kaffet skall bli klart. Det puttrar, fr\u00e4ser och luktar gott. Strax […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49603,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=49603","url_meta":{"origin":17578,"position":0},"title":"Hur m\u00e5nga fisar","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2025-05-08","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Alex P on Pexels.com Sitter och dricker kaffe och t\u00e4nker p\u00e5 d\u00f6den... nja... n\u00e5ja... nej... s\u00e5 illa \u00e4r det nu inte. Men dricker kaffe. Det st\u00e4mmer i alla fall. Befinner mig i \"g\u00f6ra klar\" fasen av mitt multicastdelprojekt. Den tr\u00e5kiga delen. Man vet att det fungerar. Man har\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"photo of grass field","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-1227513.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-1227513.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-1227513.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-1227513.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-1227513.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-1227513.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17825,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17825","url_meta":{"origin":17578,"position":1},"title":"Tisdag – en ny dag","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-05-12","format":false,"excerpt":"Man vaknar till en tisdag mitt i v\u00e5ren. Helt OK f\u00f6r min del. Det roligaste som h\u00e4nder idag enligt kalendern \u00e4r soph\u00e4mtning. Momsen har jag n\u00e4mligen redan klarat av. Men en Indisk v\u00e4n i New Dehli har sin f\u00f6rsta br\u00f6llopsdag idag. Hans fru och han sj\u00e4lv \u00e4r b\u00e5da f\u00f6dda p\u00e5\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"vedtr\u00e4-23919189","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/vedtr%C3%A4-23919189.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10048,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=10048","url_meta":{"origin":17578,"position":2},"title":"“Man f\u00e5r nog b\u00e4ra sj\u00e4lv som man alltid burit, bar och b\u00e4r.”","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-09-24","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag h\u00e5ller emot allt jag kan. Ingen panna startas f\u00f6rr\u00e4n i Oktober. Tamefan inte. Men skall man starta d\u00e5 s\u00e5 m\u00e5ste man ju best\u00e4lla pellets nu, s\u00e5 jag g\u00f6r det. Sitter d\u00e4r och fryser p\u00e5 ren vr\u00e5nghet mot h\u00f6st och vinter och v\u00e4ntar p\u00e5 leverans. 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Den f\u00f6rsta dan i\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_20180308_093919258-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_20180308_093919258-1024x576.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_20180308_093919258-1024x576.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15024,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=15024","url_meta":{"origin":17578,"position":4},"title":"Godmorgon godmorgon","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-10-03","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Godmorgon, gordmorgon\". Det g\u00e5r liksom inte att h\u00e5lla sig fr\u00e5n att uttala de d\u00e4r orden h\u00f6gt n\u00e4r jag kliver in p\u00e5 kontoret. Lite omv\u00e4nt \"Macken\" s\u00e5d\u00e4r. Klockan \u00e4r halv \u00e5tta. Det \u00e4r inte s\u00e5 l\u00e4nge sedan jag gick h\u00e4rifr\u00e5n. D\u00e5 var den n\u00e4stan ett n\u00e4r jag vandrade upp till s\u00e4ng\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"gral","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/gral.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":16103,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=16103","url_meta":{"origin":17578,"position":5},"title":"Sn\u00f6storm och vilol\u00e4ge","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-01-11","format":false,"excerpt":"Jod\u00e5, tre decimeter sn\u00f6. Man bor i helvetet. N\u00e5gon sn\u00f6slunga har man ju inte startat f\u00f6rut i \u00e5r trotts goda f\u00f6resatser att mixtra med den under sommaren s\u00e5 att den skall vara i toppskick n\u00e4r vintern \u00e4r h\u00e4r och den beh\u00f6vs. Men i med bensin, pumpa in den, dra en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Penna_Next-Clear-Chrome","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Penna_Next-Clear-Chrome-1024x769.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Penna_Next-Clear-Chrome-1024x769.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Penna_Next-Clear-Chrome-1024x769.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-4zw","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17578"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17578\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22189,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17578\/revisions\/22189"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}