{"id":17074,"date":"2015-03-16T23:41:30","date_gmt":"2015-03-16T22:41:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/?p=17074"},"modified":"2015-09-15T09:22:22","modified_gmt":"2015-09-15T08:22:22","slug":"det-var-tamefan-varre","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17074","title":{"rendered":"Det var tamefan v\u00e4rre."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/23763011-origpic-e12ffe.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17075 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/23763011-origpic-e12ffe.jpg?resize=580%2C435\" alt=\"23763011-origpic-e12ffe\" width=\"580\" height=\"435\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>F\u00e5r till en bootloader ocks\u00e5 ikv\u00e4ll. D\u00e5 kanske man t\u00f6rs b\u00f6rja tillverka och skicka ut. Till Indien och USA g\u00e5r de f\u00f6rsta. Lite Columbus \u00f6ver det d\u00e4r. Var m\u00e4rkv\u00e4rdigt d\u00e5. Inte idag.<\/p>\n<p>Men klockan \u00e4r bara kvart \u00f6ver elva. Jag \u00e4r tr\u00f6tt som en plastdocka som \u00e4r utan h\u00e5r och som har ena armen bortryckt av sin vansinnige dock\u00e4gare. Jod\u00e5 har gnetat p\u00e5 idag. P\u00e5 allvar. Fast det \u00e4r ju ingen skillnad mot andra dagar. Det \u00e4r inte m\u00e5nga dagar gnetandet inte fungerar. Men natten. Jag reds av maran i stort sett hela natten. Sov lite, vaknade, somnade igen, dr\u00f6mde ot\u00e4cka konstiga dr\u00f6mmar, vaknade igen, svettades och s\u00e5 d\u00e4r h\u00f6ll det p\u00e5. Ja typiskt n\u00e4r maran rider en i full galopp. Febermaran. Sjukmaran.\u00a0 Inte ens lillkatten som brukar dela med sig av sin v\u00e4rme och mjukhet till mig under t\u00e4cket och som g\u00e4rna vill vara n\u00e4ra i nattens insomning klarade av att finnas n\u00e4ra mig. Tr\u00f6tt nu allts\u00e5. Jag. Katten verkar pigg. Beh\u00f6ver en natt utan marans ritt. En natt i lugn och ro med lagom v\u00e5ldsamma och lagom underliga dr\u00f6mmar. Man kan be om det h\u00e4r vi denna tid allts\u00e5. Hoppas. N\u00e4r man snart f\u00e5r sova. Om man f\u00e5r det.<\/p>\n<p>En g\u00e5ng l\u00e5g jag en hel natt i Hudiksvall och s\u00e5g f\u00e4rgglada ormar krypa p\u00e5 tak och v\u00e4ggar. St\u00e4ngde jag \u00f6gonen s\u00e5 slingrade de sig och kr\u00f6p de alla mot mig. Ot\u00e4ckt som fan. S\u00e5 jag v\u00e5gade inte st\u00e4nga \u00f6gonen p\u00e5 hela natten. L\u00e5g vaken och svettades och pl\u00e5gades och nojjade till morgonen. N\u00e4r de blev blekare. Ormarna. N\u00e4stan osynliga. Men kvar. Jag hade precis blivit opererad i axeln. F\u00e5tt en \u00f6verdos morfin. Ja det fattade man ju. Nattsk\u00f6terskan hade g\u00e4rna givit mig b\u00e5de en och tv\u00e5 sprutor till men tack tack tack men nej tack. Jag har hellre ont. Kan liksom inte begripa hur n\u00e5gon vill uts\u00e4tta sig f\u00f6r det d\u00e4r frivilligt. Jod\u00e5 det har funnits tillf\u00e4llen jag har varit r\u00e4ddare i mitt liv men det r\u00e4ckte och blev \u00f6ver den d\u00e4r g\u00e5ngen ocks\u00e5.<\/p>\n<p>Men det \u00e4r s\u00e5klart enda g\u00e5ngen jag legat p\u00e5 sjukhus. Hittills. Hoppas att det \u00e4r sista g\u00e5ngen f\u00f6r f\u00f6r alltid kan man ju. Tio dagar sj\u00e4lv. L\u00e4ngtade hem s\u00e5 jag h\u00e4ll p\u00e5 bryta ihop. Men tio dagar. Taxi. Hem och jobba. Deadline p\u00e5 resultattavlor till OS arenan i Zurich. Ja den hade passerat. Men bara med n\u00e5gra dagar. Jag stoppade i mig v\u00e4rktabletter och lyfte upp den skadade armen p\u00e5 tangentbordet och k\u00f6rde. Debuggade skiten och levererade. Svimf\u00e4rdig hela tiden. S\u00e5 man skall v\u00e4l inte gn\u00e4lla f\u00f6r att man \u00e4r lite tr\u00f6tt. Det d\u00e4r var v\u00e4rre.<\/p>\n<p>Fast nu kvart i tolv. L\u00e4ggdags. L\u00e4sdags. Sovdags. Godnatt v\u00e4rlden. Med lite tur ses vi imorgon.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>F\u00e5r till en bootloader ocks\u00e5 ikv\u00e4ll. D\u00e5 kanske man t\u00f6rs b\u00f6rja tillverka och skicka ut. Till Indien och USA g\u00e5r de f\u00f6rsta. Lite Columbus \u00f6ver det d\u00e4r. Var m\u00e4rkv\u00e4rdigt d\u00e5. Inte idag. Men klockan \u00e4r bara kvart \u00f6ver elva. Jag \u00e4r tr\u00f6tt som en plastdocka som \u00e4r utan h\u00e5r och som har ena armen bortryckt [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2466,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=2466","url_meta":{"origin":17074,"position":0},"title":"Falskspel","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2012-12-20","format":false,"excerpt":"Somnade i soffan till nyheterna ikv\u00e4ll. Ibland blir man tr\u00f6tt fast man inte g\u00f6r n\u00e5gra storverk eller avtryck i v\u00e4rlden. Somnade med tekoppen i handen och vaknade n\u00e4r jag h\u00e4llde ut den \u00f6ver soffan och \u00f6ver mig sj\u00e4lv. Turligt nog hade inneh\u00e5llet svalnat s\u00e5 det var ungef\u00e4r som att kissa\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20423,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20423","url_meta":{"origin":17074,"position":1},"title":"En dag att minnas, fel, att gl\u00f6mma.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-05-18","format":false,"excerpt":"Vissa dagar vill man inte minnas. Det h\u00e4r \u00e4r en s\u00e5dan. Ja och jag visste det redan n\u00e4r jag vaknade. Snart bortforslad och avf\u00f6rd nu. Tack och lov. Men vet att det kommer fler. En hel r\u00e4cka. Det \u00e4r jag s\u00e4ker p\u00e5. Men d\u00e4refter bara bra dagar. In i evigheten.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"BugsLifeWallpaper800","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/BugsLifeWallpaper800.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/BugsLifeWallpaper800.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/BugsLifeWallpaper800.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/BugsLifeWallpaper800.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3911,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=3911","url_meta":{"origin":17074,"position":2},"title":"S\u00e5 vaknar jag d\u00e5 igen","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2013-03-10","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag vaknade i natt. Jag g\u00f6r det. Klockan \u00e4r strax efter tv\u00e5. Alla sover. Jag \u00e4r ganska pigg. Det finns n\u00e5gra chips kvar i en p\u00e5se. Jag knycker en colaburk av sonen. Iskall. St\u00e4ller mig i \u00f6sterf\u00f6nstret. Dricker och \u00e4ter en hand chips. Fett fr\u00e5n chips i munnen n\u00e4r jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"stj\u00e4rna (1)","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/stj%C3%A4rna-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":40340,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40340","url_meta":{"origin":17074,"position":3},"title":"M\u00f6rker","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2021-11-17","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Mot natt. M\u00f6rker. Fullm\u00e5ne f\u00f6rst p\u00e5 fredag. Varulven i oss de galna h\u00e5ller sig lugn tills dess. Sen f\u00e5r ni se upp. Vargar och varulvar vr\u00e5lande, ylande p\u00e5 bergen, ja och intensivt jagande efter blod d\u00e4r i natten ner mot dalg\u00e5ngarna. Utan sn\u00f6 inget bl\u00e5ljus.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"photo of moon","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/full-moon-moon-bright-sky-47367.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/full-moon-moon-bright-sky-47367.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/full-moon-moon-bright-sky-47367.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/full-moon-moon-bright-sky-47367.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/full-moon-moon-bright-sky-47367.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12982,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=12982","url_meta":{"origin":17074,"position":4},"title":"Tr\u00f6tt som en soptunna.","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-04-26","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r en smal rand av ljus p\u00e5 himlen v\u00e4sterut nu n\u00e4r jag tittar ut och klockan snart \u00e4r elva. En s\u00e5dan d\u00e4r sommarrand som bara finns p\u00e5 sommaren, men som \u00e4r d\u00e4r nu tv\u00e5 m\u00e5nader f\u00f6r tidigt, fast den rimligen inte borde vara d\u00e4r. Jag \u00e4r tr\u00f6tt som en\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"soptunna-stor","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/soptunna-stor.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1658,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=1658","url_meta":{"origin":17074,"position":5},"title":"2012-09-12","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2012-09-19","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag skulle ha gett allt f\u00f6r att bli rockstj\u00e4rna under 70-talet. Nej, inte kompromissa med min musik. Det var h\u00e5rdrock som g\u00e4llde. Stolthet. Spela i dansband var grejen under 70-talet. D\u00e5 fick man massor med spelningar och kunde ofta leva p\u00e5 musiken. Dom flesta tog den. Kompromissade. Inte jag! Jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-4ro","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17074","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17074"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17074\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18603,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17074\/revisions\/18603"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17074"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17074"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17074"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}