{"id":17045,"date":"2015-03-14T10:32:29","date_gmt":"2015-03-14T09:32:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/?p=17045"},"modified":"2015-03-14T10:32:29","modified_gmt":"2015-03-14T09:32:29","slug":"sigh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=17045","title":{"rendered":"Sigh"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"003\"<\/a><\/p>\n

L\u00f6rdag. Halv tio. Morgon. Jag g\u00e5r f\u00f6rbi studion som bara st\u00e5r d\u00e4r och samlar damm. Jag skulle stannat d\u00e4r om jag kunde. Jag tror jag har en talang f\u00f6r det d\u00e4r \u00e4nd\u00e5. Hur som helst finns en stor lust. Den som \u00e4r det enda viktiga. Men jag g\u00e5r f\u00f6rbi. In f\u00f6rbi det som f\u00f6rst var t\u00e4nkt som stora studiorummet men nu…, ja det f\u00e5r bli n\u00e5got annat. Har s\u00e4nkt ambitionerna d\u00e4r. Hinner inte med allt. L\u00e5ter musiken ligga p\u00e5 skojkontot. Tror det \u00e4r riktigt och r\u00e4tt. Att spela in andra inte min grej. F\u00f6rst\u00e5r det.<\/p>\n

G\u00e5r vidare in p\u00e5 kontoret. Ja, jag l\u00e4ngtar ofta hit. Till de h\u00e4r rummen. \u00c4nd\u00e5 har jag frusit h\u00e4r s\u00e5 jag skakat och hj\u00e4rnan n\u00e4ra nog stannat. Ja, farit illa h\u00e4r. Tagit beslut h\u00e4r som f\u00f6r\u00e4ndrat livet f\u00f6r alltid. \u00c4nd\u00e5 har jag den d\u00e4r gok\u00e4nslan i magen n\u00e4r jag kommer in i de h\u00e4r lokalerna. K\u00e4nslan av att allt tamefan \u00e4r m\u00f6jligt just h\u00e4r. ALLT. Det beh\u00f6vs bara tid. Jag tvekar aldrig d\u00e4r.<\/p>\n

Men att jobba en l\u00f6rdag n\u00e4r solen skiner d\u00e4r ute… Vem som helst fattar att det kanske inte \u00e4r det optimalt i livet. Men det \u00e4r s\u00e5klart fler egna f\u00f6retagare \u00e4n jag som sitter d\u00e4r p\u00e5 sina arbetsplatser idag. En del som g\u00f6r stora pengar p\u00e5 den d\u00e4r l\u00f6rdagssittningen, andra inte.Det \u00e4r f\u00f6retagarliv i b\u00e5da fallen. Bara att inse. Det man m\u00e5ste \u00f6verleva om man nu vill finnas i det h\u00e4r.<\/p>\n

Vi skall titta p\u00e5 melodifestivalen ikv\u00e4ll. M\u00e5ns Zelmerl\u00f6v skall tydligen vinna s\u00e4ger de som alltid vet. Jaq vet inte och skiter i vilket. Men skall allts\u00e5 titta. Med blocket i hand. L\u00e5ngt borta i tankarna. F\u00f6rsta mellon i \u00e5r om det nu blir s\u00e5. Egentligen tr\u00f6tt p\u00e5 skiten. Urtr\u00f6tt. Tr\u00f6tt som en pysl\u00e4ckande fotboll p\u00e5 ytligheter av alla de slag. M\u00e5ste ha substans nu h\u00e4r i livet. Eller kanske har det n\u00e4stan alltid varit s\u00e5. Vill ha mer. Har inte tid med allt det d\u00e4r f\u00f6r enkla. Har man blivit en snobb d\u00e5? Om mello och buskis g\u00e5r bort? Ja f\u00e5r vara s\u00e5 d\u00e5. Jag s\u00e4ger i alla fall inte att de som gillar det d\u00e4r \u00e4r mindre v\u00e4rda. Man f\u00e5r vara olika. Ogillar “vi och dom”. Gillar “vi”. Fast vi \u00e4r olika.<\/p>\n

M\u00e5ste koncentrera mig nu. Ge mig in i det som \u00e4r jobb och skoj p\u00e5 samma g\u00e5ng. Mitt liv. Ja det som blev det. Man tror att man planerar s\u00e5 j\u00e4vla bra. M\u00e4ter ut det d\u00e4r livet och vet vad som skall bli bra. Men inte blir det s\u00e5 \u00e4nd\u00e5. Det blir bara som det blir. Som om man var en barkb\u00e5t rusande fram och ner\u00e5t\u00a0 i en stark fors. Man kastats hit och dit och sl\u00e5r i stenar ibland. Ja om man lever \u00e4r det s\u00e5d\u00e4r. D\u00e5 finns inget annat s\u00e4tt \u00e4n det d\u00e4r s\u00e4tet att leva ett liv p\u00e5. Att ge sig ut i forsen. Visst. Man kan v\u00e4lja att inte ta sig utf\u00f6r. Stanna i en lugn vik. H\u00e5lla sig h\u00e5rt fast.\u00a0 Men d\u00e5 lever man inte heller. Trygghet tar ofta d\u00f6d p\u00e5 en ocks\u00e5. Man m\u00e5ste fatta det. Som forsen. Men det vilda v\u00e4cker det man inte visste fans. Sen kan man (och skall antagligen) s\u00e5klart balansera det d\u00e4r. Inte br\u00e4nna s\u00e5 m\u00e5nga av broarna bak\u00e5t. Ha n\u00e5gra s\u00e4kerhetsniv\u00e5er s\u00e5 man inte faller s\u00e5 h\u00f6gt n\u00e4r man faller. Om man faller. Men ut ur sina trygghetszonerna skall man. M\u00e5ste man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

L\u00f6rdag. Halv tio. Morgon. Jag g\u00e5r f\u00f6rbi studion som bara st\u00e5r d\u00e4r och samlar damm. Jag skulle stannat d\u00e4r om jag kunde. Jag tror jag har en talang f\u00f6r det d\u00e4r \u00e4nd\u00e5. Hur som helst finns en stor lust. Den som \u00e4r det enda viktiga. Men jag g\u00e5r f\u00f6rbi. In f\u00f6rbi det som f\u00f6rst var […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":23442,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=23442","url_meta":{"origin":17045,"position":0},"title":"Sn\u00f6fall","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2017-02-22","format":false,"excerpt":"Sn\u00f6fall, ett helt normalt sn\u00f6v\u00e4der, men pressen ropar ut \"SN\u00d6KAOS\" med sina stora rubriker. 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Mannen med den svarta slokhatten och trenchcoaten. Svarta Italienska handsydda skor har han p\u00e5 f\u00f6tterna och han g\u00e5r lite flickaktigt f\u00f6rsiktigt d\u00e4r p\u00e5 barret och de v\u00e5ta l\u00f6ven efter stigen. 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Jag t\u00e4nkte ta tag i \u00f6vervikten det h\u00e4r \u00e5ret men av naturliga sk\u00e4l blev det inte s\u00e5. Det f\u00e5r ist\u00e4llet bli n\u00e4sta \u00e5rs l\u00f6fte. Att g\u00e5 ner n\u00e5gra kilo. B\u00f6rja r\u00f6ra p\u00e5 sig lite mer. Det \u00e4r sannerligen dags att verkst\u00e4lla det d\u00e4r l\u00f6ftet. 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