Jag har tr\u00e4ffat ganska m\u00e5nga m\u00e4nniskor i mitt liv. M\u00e5nga har kommit n\u00e4ra trotts att jag nog mest kan betecknas som en ensamvarg. Ja, ensamvarg men en social s\u00e5dan. Hur g\u00e5r det ihop? Ja helt enkelt s\u00e5 att jag gillar m\u00e4nniskor, olikheterna, sv\u00e5righeterna, sorgerna, gl\u00e4djen, k\u00e4rleken. Jag kan sitta i timmar och observera m\u00e4nniskor. Fantisera om historierna alla b\u00e4r p\u00e5, var dom \u00e4r p\u00e5 v\u00e4g, vilka dom i sin tur m\u00f6ter.\u00a0 Jag gillar att lyssna p\u00e5 m\u00e4nniskor, att bli stimulerade av m\u00e4nskor, att f\u00e5 stimulera m\u00e4nskor. Tycker det \u00e4r sp\u00e4nnande med varje nytt m\u00f6te och att f\u00e5 \u00f6ppna den bok som varje m\u00e4nniska med sitt liv besitter. Samtidigt har jag ett stort behov av att vara f\u00f6r mig sj\u00e4lv. L\u00e5t mig f\u00f6rklara. <\/p>\n
Jag trivs med att sitta och lyssna p\u00e5 mitt eget. Fundera lite. F\u00f6rs\u00f6ka f\u00f6rst\u00e5. L\u00e4gga ihop ett och ett och f\u00e5 \u00e5tta och tycka det \u00e4r OK fast \u00e4n det \u00e4r fel. Jag t\u00e4nker ofta p\u00e5 sv\u00e5ra grejer fast jag inte \u00e4r ett geni. Jag k\u00e4nner mig n\u00f6jd \u00e4nd\u00e5 med dom naiva svar jag lyckas resonerar mig fram till. Jag tycker om mig sj\u00e4lv. OK fr\u00e5n utsidan m\u00e5 jag vara dryg, sj\u00e4lvgod, fet, gammal, d\u00e5lig och usel p\u00e5 massor av andra s\u00e4tt. Det inser jag ju sj\u00e4lv. Men hur det \u00e4n \u00e4r s\u00e5 \u00e4r jag v\u00e4n med den d\u00e4r som finns inne i mig.\u00a0 “Vi” pratar och vi trivs ihop f\u00f6r det mesta. Ibland \u00f6verraskar “vi” till och med varandra genom att g\u00f6ra saker som ingen av oss f\u00f6rv\u00e4ntade sig. D\u00e4r ligger min trygghet. Om allt annat \u00e4r fel s\u00e5 kan jag alltid g\u00e5 in i mig sj\u00e4lv och d\u00e5 blir det alltid OK. D\u00e4r p\u00e5 insidan \u00e4r mina l\u00e5tar lika bra som andras l\u00e5tar, d\u00e4r \u00e4r ocks\u00e5 jag v\u00e4rd att lyssna p\u00e5. Ja ni f\u00f6rst\u00e5r s\u00e4kert. Men det finns ocks\u00e5 en bl\u00e5 ton i allt detta. D\u00e4r inne finns en ensamhet d\u00e4rf\u00f6r att dit kan ingen annan komma. Det finns ett avst\u00e5nd till dom d\u00e4r m\u00e4nniskorna som m\u00e5ste finnas f\u00f6r att livet skall vara v\u00e4rt att leva. Ett helvetesgap som inte g\u00e5r att \u00f6verbrygga ens med den l\u00e4ngsta brokonstruktion.\u00a0 Dagens kaffe \u00e4r f\u00f6r m\u00e4nniskor och nya m\u00f6ten och tryggheten d\u00e4r djupt inom oss. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jag har tr\u00e4ffat ganska m\u00e5nga m\u00e4nniskor i mitt liv. M\u00e5nga har kommit n\u00e4ra trotts att jag nog mest kan betecknas som en ensamvarg. Ja, ensamvarg men en social s\u00e5dan. Hur g\u00e5r det ihop? Ja helt enkelt s\u00e5 att jag gillar m\u00e4nniskor, olikheterna, sv\u00e5righeterna, sorgerna, gl\u00e4djen, k\u00e4rleken. Jag kan sitta i timmar och observera m\u00e4nniskor. Fantisera […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser","category-swedish"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":34452,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=34452","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":0},"title":"Gubbar","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2020-02-12","format":false,"excerpt":"Det \u00e4r gubbarna och jag, d\u00e4r p\u00e5 gubbhyllan p\u00e5 Coop,.. n\u00e4\u00e4\u00e4\u00e4.... v\u00e4nta nu... Det \u00e4r VI gubbar p\u00e5 gubbhyllan p\u00e5 Coop i Ljusdal. Jag t\u00e4nker S E M L A n\u00e4r jag g\u00e5r f\u00f6r att best\u00e4lla min kaffe. Suget finns d\u00e4r. Men jag har bara trettio sp\u00e4nn och semla med\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Swedish"","block_context":{"text":"Swedish","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/IMG_20200212_110643166_HDR.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":48199,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=48199","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":1},"title":"G\u00e4vle – Stadsfest","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2024-08-08","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag har alltid valt det ensamma f\u00f6re m\u00e4nniskorna. \u00c4n idag sitter jag 98% sj\u00e4lv och trivs med det. Och skulle jag beh\u00f6va v\u00e4lja s\u00e5 hade jag valt ensamheten. \u00c4ven om den niv\u00e5n av interaktion med andra m\u00e4nniskor varierat genom \u00e5ren s\u00e5 har den alltid under mitt liv legat m\u00e5nga, m\u00e5nga\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_20240807_185454-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_20240807_185454-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_20240807_185454-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_20240807_185454-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_20240807_185454-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_20240807_185454-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16959,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=16959","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":2},"title":"Europa och livet","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-03-11","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag skjutsar K till jobbet vid pass sju h\u00e4r p\u00e5 morgonen. Det \u00e4r som en solh\u00e4lsning. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm l\u00e5ter jag d\u00e4r i bilen n\u00e4r jag bl\u00e4ndas av \u00e5rets hittills starkaste sol. Yoga. Jod\u00e5 70-talet. Yoga och jag. De som h\u00e5ller p\u00e5 nu \u00e4r s\u00e5klart bara efterf\u00f6ljare. Efterapare. P\u00e5 hemv\u00e4gen sl\u00e5r jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"2015-03-11_09-03-08","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/2015-03-11_09-03-08.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/2015-03-11_09-03-08.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/2015-03-11_09-03-08.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/2015-03-11_09-03-08.png?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":48869,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=48869","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":3},"title":"En julhistoria","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2024-12-23","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Tim Mossholder on Pexels.com Jag g\u00e5r p\u00e5 mitt jobb p\u00e5 kv\u00e4llen f\u00f6re julafton. Dan f\u00f6re dan. Jag jobbar extra p\u00e5 ett hospice. Inte som sjukv\u00e5rdspersonal, utan som en hand att h\u00e5lla, eller ett \u00f6ra som lyssnar n\u00e4r det beh\u00f6vs. Ja och det g\u00f6r\u00a0 det ofta. Folk f\u00f6rtr\u00e4nger g\u00e4rna\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"bokeh photography of lights","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/pexels-photo-383646.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/pexels-photo-383646.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/pexels-photo-383646.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/pexels-photo-383646.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/pexels-photo-383646.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/pexels-photo-383646.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1646,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=1646","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":4},"title":"2012-09-01","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2012-09-19","format":false,"excerpt":"F\u00f6rlossningen tar tid. Karin f\u00e5r ryggm\u00e4rgsbed\u00f6vning. Det g\u00f6r s\u00e5 ont att hon skriker som ett djur.\u00a0 Tr\u00f6tt. Varit vaken i snart 48-timmar. S\u00e5 kommer dom sista krystv\u00e4rkarna och barnet kommer ut. En sk\u00f6terska tar honom med sig och rusar ut. Karin s\u00e4ger \u00e5t mig att f\u00f6lja med. Han ligger d\u00e4r\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40920,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=40920","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":5},"title":"Hulkar, pellets och ensamf\u00e5r","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2022-01-13","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com B\u00e4r in pellets. Orkar bara en pall. Sl\u00f6fock. Men f\u00e5r ta den andra imorgon. Med straffrunda. Man \u00e4r inte lika alert som f\u00f6rr. Ja om sanningen skall fram s\u00e5 var man v\u00e4l inte s\u00e5 alert d\u00e5 heller n\u00e4r man de facto och per definition\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"gray husky","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-photo-918596.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-photo-918596.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-photo-918596.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-photo-918596.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-photo-918596.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/pexels-photo-918596.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-qk","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1632","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1632"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1632\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4590,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1632\/revisions\/4590"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1632"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1632"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1632"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}