{"id":15992,"date":"2015-01-04T22:47:15","date_gmt":"2015-01-04T21:47:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/?p=15992"},"modified":"2020-06-03T22:01:56","modified_gmt":"2020-06-03T21:01:56","slug":"dra-at-helvete","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=15992","title":{"rendered":"“Dra \u00e5t helvete”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"herr-dra-aat-helvete-voltaire_design\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Det \u00e4r f\u00f6rst imorgon det \u00e4r fullm\u00e5ne. Men jag m\u00e5ste \u00e4nd\u00e5 g\u00e5 ut en sv\u00e4ng p\u00e5 baksidan av huset. Jod\u00e5 nog lyser oljuset starkt d\u00e4r ute allt och nog knarrar det behagligt under f\u00f6tterna n\u00e4r man g\u00e5r d\u00e4r. Det \u00e4r inte mycket sn\u00f6 men den som \u00e4r kvar \u00e4r isigare nu, knarrigare. Allt det pudrade \u00e4r borta. Men det kommer p\u00e5fyllning. Man kan vara helt s\u00e4ker p\u00e5 det n\u00e4r man bor s\u00e5h\u00e4r p\u00e5 +400 meter. De enda jag \u00f6nskar n\u00e4r jag g\u00e5r d\u00e4r, i det som \u00e4r koltrasts\u00e5ngens paradis om sommaren, \u00e4r att allt det h\u00e4r var l\u00e4ngre bort fr\u00e5n m\u00e4nniskorna, l\u00e5ngt ut i skogen n\u00e5gonstans, eller mitt ute i havet d\u00e4r inget ljus fr\u00e5n andra bos\u00e4ttare n\u00e5r den plats d\u00e4r jag st\u00e5r. Det \u00e4r n\u00e4mligen f\u00f6rst d\u00e5, l\u00e5ngt bort fr\u00e5n m\u00e4nniskorna man verkligen k\u00e4nner att man \u00e4r ett med universum n\u00e4r man st\u00e5r d\u00e4r oskyddad som ett nyf\u00f6tt barn\u00a0 under stj\u00e4rnorna. Den k\u00e4nslan beh\u00f6ver en s\u00e5dan som jag k\u00e4nna ofta. F\u00f6r det \u00e4r bara i det jag p\u00e5 riktigt h\u00f6r till och \u00e4r en del av n\u00e5got.<\/p>\n

Jag har l\u00e4rt mig en viktig l\u00e4xa under det h\u00e4r \u00e5ret. Man skall kasta iv\u00e4g m\u00e4nniskorna som inte ger n\u00e5got tillbaks utan bara kostar energi. Det svider n\u00e4r man g\u00f6r det, man k\u00e4nner sig taskig men livet blir enklare att leva utan dem som h\u00e4nger som barlaster runt ens ben och f\u00f6tter och hela tiden drar en ner\u00e5t som o\u00f6nskad gravitation. Man \u00e4r i sin fulla r\u00e4tt att klippa av de d\u00e4r t\u00e5tarna till barlasterna. S\u00e4ga aj\u00f6ss och hej och goodby till dom som h\u00e4nger d\u00e4r. Be dem rakt p\u00e5 sak fara \u00e5t helvete om inget annat hj\u00e4lper. Ja jag b\u00f6rjade med det d\u00e4r p\u00e5 prov f\u00f6rra julen. Skickade inte ut den d\u00e4r julh\u00e4lsningen jag brukade skicka annars. Hur m\u00e5nga skulle h\u00f6ra av sig tillbaks \u00e4nd\u00e5? Inte m\u00e5nga gjorde det s\u00e5klart. De som h\u00f6rde av sig gick enkelt att r\u00e4kna p\u00e5 en halv hand. S\u00e5 jag plockade bort dem fr\u00e5n adressboken. Sen de d\u00e4r som gn\u00e4ller och klagar men aldrig\u00a0 kommer med n\u00e5got positivt. Jag bad dem fara och flyga. Dra \u00e5t helvete helt enkelt. Sen bort med kontot p\u00e5 fejjan. Ett svart h\u00e5l som bara \u00e5t energi. Som s\u00e4llan gav en enda Joule tillbaks. De som s\u00e4ger “Saknar dig p\u00e5 fejjan” numera men som inte orkar klicka in en annan url f\u00f6r att l\u00e4sa samma saker som jag skrev d\u00e4r \u00e4r ju s\u00e5klart inget att ha. L\u00e5t dem f\u00f6lja med vattnet ut i havet och f\u00f6rsvinna.<\/p>\n

S\u00e5 adressboken blir ganska tunn d\u00e5 s\u00e5klart. Telefonsamtalen blir f\u00e5. Man sitter d\u00e4r ensam kvar som en gammal sur gubbe. Men man m\u00e5r b\u00e4ttre. M\u00e5r riktigt gott.\u00a0 Orkar lite till n\u00e4r man slipper all den d\u00e4r negativa energin. F\u00f6r \u00e4r man nu \u00e4nd\u00e5 bara en n\u00f6rd som sitter d\u00e4r och g\u00f6r det man m\u00e5ste g\u00f6ra s\u00e5 s\u00e5 \u00e4r det till slut \u00e4nd\u00e5 b\u00e4st om man f\u00e5r g\u00f6ra just det. Jag tycker jag har blivit modig nu som kan be folk dra \u00e5t helvete. Jag har alltid varit f\u00f6r sn\u00e4ll f\u00f6r det f\u00f6rr i mitt liv. F\u00f6r feg och f\u00f6r r\u00e4dd. Blivit utnyttjad. Men inte l\u00e4ngre allts\u00e5. Fuck off \u00e4r det som g\u00e4ller. H\u00e4r slickas inga brunsliskiga rumpor l\u00e4ngre. S\u00e5dets\u00e5!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Det \u00e4r f\u00f6rst imorgon det \u00e4r fullm\u00e5ne. Men jag m\u00e5ste \u00e4nd\u00e5 g\u00e5 ut en sv\u00e4ng p\u00e5 baksidan av huset. Jod\u00e5 nog lyser oljuset starkt d\u00e4r ute allt och nog knarrar det behagligt under f\u00f6tterna n\u00e4r man g\u00e5r d\u00e4r. Det \u00e4r inte mycket sn\u00f6 men den som \u00e4r kvar \u00e4r isigare nu, knarrigare. Allt det pudrade […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15992","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":21996,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=21996","url_meta":{"origin":15992,"position":0},"title":"Slutet","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-11-03","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag trodde aldrig jag skulle bli sextio. Men s\u00e5 blir man det. Men blir man nu sextio kan man i princip leva hur l\u00e4nge som helst. S\u00e5 t\u00e4nkte jag i alla fall innan femtio. Vi f\u00e5r se hur det blir. I den h\u00e4r \u00e5ldern g\u00e5r man inte s\u00e4ker. 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En nackdel med veckopendlandet \u00e4r att det \u00e4r jobbigt att sticka iv\u00e4g p\u00e5 s\u00f6ndagskv\u00e4llen eller m\u00e5ndagsmorgonen. Men det d\u00e4r jobbiga v\u00e4gs l\u00e4tt upp av att komma hem p\u00e5 fredagskv\u00e4llen. F\u00f6rst de H\u00e4lsingska bergen. Man s\u00e5g dem d\u00e5. 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