{"id":12893,"date":"2014-04-19T22:17:26","date_gmt":"2014-04-19T21:17:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/?p=12893"},"modified":"2014-04-19T22:17:26","modified_gmt":"2014-04-19T21:17:26","slug":"paskafton-och-cancerbesked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=12893","title":{"rendered":"P\u00e5skafton och cancerbesked"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/appelskrutt.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/appelskrutt.jpg?resize=580%2C580\" alt=\"appelskrutt\" width=\"580\" height=\"580\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-12596\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>En v\u00e4n ber\u00e4ttar idag att han f\u00e5tt prostatacancer. Eller v\u00e4n? Har jag v\u00e4nner? R\u00e4ttelse. N\u00e5gon jag tycker bra om i alla fall. N\u00e5gra m\u00e5nader kvar till pension. Sorgligt ocks\u00e5 just d\u00e4rf\u00f6r. Men det g\u00e5r bra f\u00f6r de flesta s\u00e5klart ocks\u00e5 fast man f\u00e5r de d\u00e4r beskeden. Man blir friskf\u00f6rklarad och lever (oftast mer fullt ut dessutom, med mindre tjafs) tills man d\u00f6r. Jag hoppas vid gud att det g\u00e5r bra i det h\u00e4r fallet. Det \u00e4r or\u00e4ttvist s\u00e5klart. Det borde vara skitar som jag som \u00e5ker p\u00e5 s\u00e5nt d\u00e4r. S\u00e5dana som ingen skulle sakna. Men vi n\u00e5r bara n\u00e4stan dit. Klarar oss p\u00e5 marginalerna till ingens gl\u00e4dje.  <\/p>\n<p>S\u00e5 h\u00e4r \u00e4r jag. Vi har ett avtal han\/hon\/det\/gud och jag. Jag lever tills jag d\u00f6r. Vandrar hela v\u00e4gen utan att fuska eller avsluta i f\u00f6rtid. En dag har jag gjort klart det jag lovat att g\u00f6ra. Men jag \u00e4lskar varje dag s\u00e5klart. Sl\u00e5r upp \u00f6gonen p\u00e5 morgon och \u00e4r glad att vara en av de levande \u00e4nnu en dag. Varenda dag k\u00e4nner jag s\u00e5. Varenda en. Finns det en mots\u00e4gelse d\u00e4r? <\/p>\n<p>Men det \u00e4r slitigt att vandra p\u00e5 efter sina egna v\u00e4gar ist\u00e4llet f\u00f6r att f\u00f6lja i andras fotsp\u00e5r. Ibland \u00e4r djungeln framf\u00f6r en t\u00e4t och sv\u00e5rgenomtr\u00e4nglig och macheten sl\u00f6 och v\u00e4rdel\u00f6s. Man vill s\u00e4tta sig ner och sluta g\u00e5. Ge upp. Hoppas p\u00e5 att han\/hon\/det\/gud har f\u00f6rbarmande \u00f6ver en och att det \u00e4r slut, f\u00e4rdigt, just d\u00e4r och d\u00e5. Cancerbeskeden \u00e4r v\u00e4l s\u00e5d\u00e4r ocks\u00e5 antar jag. Men de flesta vill ju leva vidare, bara n\u00e5gra stycken stackare nickar och accepterar tyst n\u00e4r de framf\u00f6rs. De som har tr\u00e4tt upp de dagar de f\u00e5tt som g\u00e5vor i form av p\u00e4rlor p\u00e5 ett radband som i vilket \u00f6gonblick som helst k\u00e4nns l\u00e5ngt nog, d\u00e4rf\u00f6r att man levt livet fullt ut, inte hafsat med det, fuskat och l\u00e5tit det passera medans man suttit d\u00e4r framf\u00f6r tv&#8217;s t\u00e4vlingsprogram. Det \u00e4r i ytlighetens foskeltvshower som de d\u00f6dsr\u00e4dda skapas. Ocks\u00e5 de sv\u00e5ra tankarna m\u00e5ste f\u00e5 ta plats i v\u00e5ra hj\u00e4rnor. F\u00f6r till slut m\u00e5ste alla ta st\u00e4llning till dem. Alla utan undantag.<\/p>\n<p>Men jag blev nedst\u00e4md av att h\u00f6ra det d\u00e4r idag s\u00e5klart. Jag \u00f6nskar ingen, inte ens de som skulle ha kunnat vara mina ov\u00e4nner, att f\u00e5 cancerbeskedet.  Men \u00e4nd\u00e5 \u00e4r det var tredje av oss som f\u00e5r dem. M\u00e5nga fler \u00e4n det mesta annars om man funderar p\u00e5 det. N\u00e4r man v\u00e4l \u00e4r d\u00e4r g\u00e4ller det bara att inte bli &#8220;C A N C E R N&#8221; utan att forts\u00e4tta var den man \u00e4r. L\u00e4tt att s\u00e4ga f\u00f6r n\u00e5gon som \u00e4nnu har klarat sig, jag vet. Men att bli ett offer hj\u00e4lper inte en enda j\u00e4vla endaste m\u00e4nniska. Offer \u00e4r zombies. Levande d\u00f6da som \u00e4r sitt eget el\u00e4nde och inget, minsta lilla endaste annat. De blir ickem\u00e4nniskor i samma \u00f6gonblick som de blir sin sjukdom, sina motg\u00e5ngar eller sina handikapp. Livet \u00e4r ett helvete och det \u00e4r det som g\u00f6r det v\u00e4rt att leva. S\u00e5 j\u00e4vligt taskigt \u00e4r det ordnat och det f\u00e5r man tugga i sig men man kan g\u00f6ra det till en och annan underbar Koltrasts\u00e5ng om man bara orkar stilla sig och lyssna ist\u00e4llet f\u00f6r att gr\u00e4ma sig \u00f6ver sitt eget el\u00e4nde, helvete och f\u00f6rbannade otur. Det som \u00e4r samma f\u00f6r alla trotts allt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>En v\u00e4n ber\u00e4ttar idag att han f\u00e5tt prostatacancer. Eller v\u00e4n? Har jag v\u00e4nner? R\u00e4ttelse. N\u00e5gon jag tycker bra om i alla fall. N\u00e5gra m\u00e5nader kvar till pension. Sorgligt ocks\u00e5 just d\u00e4rf\u00f6r. Men det g\u00e5r bra f\u00f6r de flesta s\u00e5klart ocks\u00e5 fast man f\u00e5r de d\u00e4r beskeden. Man blir friskf\u00f6rklarad och lever (oftast mer fullt ut [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12893","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":15266,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=15266","url_meta":{"origin":12893,"position":0},"title":"Tror jag p\u00e5 han\/hon\/det\/gud?","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-11-04","format":false,"excerpt":"Man kan tro p\u00e5 mycket. Tomten t.ex, eller p\u00e5 Gud, eller p\u00e5 Dj\u00e4vlar, eller p\u00e5 k\u00e4rleken eller p\u00e5 konton fyllda med st\u00e5lar. Ja en massa andra saker ocks\u00e5 s\u00e5klart. Sj\u00e4lv tror jag definitivt p\u00e5 tomten. Ja dj\u00e4vlar har man ju tr\u00e4ffat sin besk\u00e4rda del av under sina dagar ocks\u00e5. St\u00e5larna\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_20141023_093642","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/IMG_20141023_093642-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/IMG_20141023_093642-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/IMG_20141023_093642-1024x768.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":21184,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=21184","url_meta":{"origin":12893,"position":1},"title":"Carola","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-08-10","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag fick en inbjudan till ett event f\u00f6r 60-plussare ig\u00e5r. Helvete liksom. Sv\u00e5rt att ta till sig. Jag har inget gemensamt med \"dom d\u00e4r\". Men det har jag s\u00e5klart. Jag har lika mycket gemensamt med \"dom d\u00e4r\" som alla de andra i 60-\u00e5rs \u00e5ldern.Det g\u00e5r inte att bortse ifr\u00e5n. Fast\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Screenshot from 2016-08-10 08:21:38","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/Screenshot-from-2016-08-10-082138.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13750,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=13750","url_meta":{"origin":12893,"position":2},"title":"&#8220;Det paketet f\u00e4rdas \u00f6ver en hel v\u00e4rld och inneh\u00e5ller mina dr\u00f6mmar&#8221;","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2014-07-03","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag vaknar upp till \u00e4nnu en dag och k\u00e4nner som vanligt samma euforiska k\u00e4nsla \u00f6ver att f\u00e5 ynnesten att finnas till en dag till. En timme i taget, en minut till i r\u00f6relse fram\u00e5t, s\u00e5 forts\u00e4tter livet. Att \u00e4nnu en dag f\u00e5 bygga p\u00e5 mitt livsverk, min, \u00e4ven om jag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"Shenzhen_night_street","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Shenzhen_night_street.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16778,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=16778","url_meta":{"origin":12893,"position":3},"title":"Th\u00e5str\u00f6m \u00e4r kanske gud","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2015-03-02","format":false,"excerpt":"Dokumentation idag. 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Eller i s\u00e4msta fall som vanligt eller kanske lika bra. det skall i alla fall g\u00f6ras. och det \u00e4r jag som m\u00e5ste g\u00f6ra\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"dsc_0583","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/dsc_0583.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/dsc_0583.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/dsc_0583.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/dsc_0583.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20957,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=20957","url_meta":{"origin":12893,"position":4},"title":"Projiceringarna","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2016-07-07","format":false,"excerpt":"Jag bokf\u00f6r, den d\u00e4r sista bokf\u00f6ringen innan semester, ja fast det \u00e4r tv\u00e5 veckor till den, men \u00e4nd\u00e5. 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Avslutar kontot direkt s\u00e5klart men \u00e5ngrar mig, jo jag \u00e4r nyfiken, g\u00e5r in igen och kikar, allt \u00e4r\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser &amp; Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-3lX","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12893"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12893\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12894,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12893\/revisions\/12894"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}