{"id":11897,"date":"2014-02-03T15:00:14","date_gmt":"2014-02-03T14:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eurosource.se\/akhe\/wordpress\/?p=11897"},"modified":"2014-02-03T15:59:58","modified_gmt":"2014-02-03T14:59:58","slug":"tankarpannan-tilltar-i-samma-takt-som-magen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=11897","title":{"rendered":"T\u00e4nkarpannan tilltar i samma takt som magen."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"groda\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Hur m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger har man tittat p\u00e5 sig sj\u00e4lv i spegeln genom \u00e5ren, nu detta \u00e5r, 2014? Det har blivit n\u00e5gra g\u00e5nger. Fanns det en tid n\u00e4r man tyckte om det man s\u00e5g? N\u00e4r man trodde att n\u00e5gon annan gjorde det? Om det nu var s\u00e5, s\u00e5 var det l\u00e4nge sedan. Nu \u00e4r det en \u00e4ldre man som ser tillbaks p\u00e5 en d\u00e4r i spegeln. En som inte beh\u00f6ver dra in magen n\u00e4r de s\u00f6ta tjejerna g\u00e5r f\u00f6rbi eller g\u00f6ra sig till p\u00e5 annat vis. Allt det d\u00e4r har passerat och det \u00e4r v\u00e4l egentligen ganska sk\u00f6nt. Men han ser ganska sliten ut tycker jag, det har h\u00e4nt saker i det d\u00e4r livet. Bra och d\u00e5ligt. Men \u00f6gonen \u00e4r fortfarande r\u00e4tt pigga. Det finns hopp i alla fall d\u00e4r. N\u00e5got lever d\u00e4r innanf\u00f6r en yta som \u00e4r p\u00e5 v\u00e4g utf\u00f6r.<\/p>\n

Fast egentligen har det v\u00e4l aldrig varit mycket bev\u00e4nt med det d\u00e4r yttre p\u00e5 det hela taget. Det var egentligen bara p\u00e5 ett lager i Leicester, England som flickorna flockades. D\u00e4r man var uttalat “handsome” och bara tjugotre \u00e5r. Har jag n\u00e5gonsin blommat s\u00e5 m\u00e5ste det ha varit d\u00e5. F\u00f6rsta dan stod de d\u00e4r bakom hyllorna, en femton, tjugo stycken och kollade p\u00e5 n\u00e4r jag packade tr\u00e5drullarna. Log \u00e4nda upp till \u00f6ronen gjorde de n\u00e4r man m\u00f6tte dem i korridorer och mellan hyllor. Men Engelska tjejer vet v\u00e4l inte b\u00e4ttre och i allt annat m\u00e4rktes inte den d\u00e4r eventuella blomningen d\u00e4r i livet s\u00e5 j\u00e4kla mycket.<\/p>\n

I banden jag spelade i fanns det alltid n\u00e5gon snygg kille. De d\u00e4r som log mot en tjej och sen h\u00e4ngde b\u00e5de de och deras kompisar om deras halsar. Ofta i klasar och ibland ovetande om varandra och att andra delade samma s\u00e4ngar. Det slog aldrig fel. Vi andra ratades f\u00f6r det mesta. Somliga av oss inte alltid. Men det var alltid det b\u00e4sta som blev kvar, utan, de som ingen ville ha. Fattar det inte. Det \u00e4r fortfarande s\u00e5. De bland mina kompisar som borde vara de verkligt kapen, de sn\u00e4lla, de uppm\u00e4rksamma, de sitter d\u00e4r ensamma och kvar. Ingen vill ha dem. En stor miss flickor!<\/p>\n

De damer som varit har valt mig. Inte jag dem. Men det blev ju bra \u00e4nd\u00e5 till slut. Vi har varit tillsammans en massa \u00e5r Karin och jag nu. \u00c5ngrar inte ett enda ett av dem. Hon kunde ha valt b\u00e4ttre den d\u00e4r g\u00e5ngen p\u00e5 en korridorfest i Uppsala p\u00e5 \u00e5ttiotalet. Det har hon nog insett vid det h\u00e4r laget. Men hon valde som hon gjorde och s\u00e5 sv\u00e5r\u00f6vertalad var jag visst inte heller, om jag minns r\u00e4tt. Tacksam \u00e4r jag f\u00f6r det.<\/p>\n

Men den d\u00e4r bilden i spegeln b\u00e4ttras inte p\u00e5 med \u00e5ren allts\u00e5. Jag \u00e4r iof inte gr\u00e5h\u00e5rig \u00e4nnu, \u00e4ven om frun ser gr\u00e5a h\u00e5rstr\u00e5n s\u00e4ger hon, men tunnas ut det g\u00f6r kalufsen helt s\u00e4kert. T\u00e4nkarpannan tilltar i samma takt som magen. Men det \u00e4r v\u00e4l som det \u00e4r. Man bryts ner bit f\u00f6r bit s\u00e5 att man blir enklare att elda upp den dag det \u00e4r dags. Har det inte slagit slint \u00e4nnu s\u00e5 skall det v\u00e4l inte tillf\u00f6ras tup\u00e9, guld om halsen, h\u00e5rigt br\u00f6st och ung \u00e4lskarinna nu heller. Man k\u00e4nner sig liksom n\u00f6jd \u00e4nd\u00e5 med vem man \u00e4r, vem man ser i spegeln, och i hur det varit. Nog s\u00e5, helt enkelt. F\u00f6r sent att \u00e4ndra p\u00e5 n\u00e5tt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hur m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger har man tittat p\u00e5 sig sj\u00e4lv i spegeln genom \u00e5ren, nu detta \u00e5r, 2014? Det har blivit n\u00e5gra g\u00e5nger. Fanns det en tid n\u00e4r man tyckte om det man s\u00e5g? N\u00e4r man trodde att n\u00e5gon annan gjorde det? Om det nu var s\u00e5, s\u00e5 var det l\u00e4nge sedan. Nu \u00e4r det en […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11897","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-betraktelser"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32590,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=32590","url_meta":{"origin":11897,"position":0},"title":"Tiden","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2019-07-24","format":false,"excerpt":"Att l\u00e5ta tiden g\u00e5, att bara l\u00e5ta klockan ticka p\u00e5 utan h\u00e5llpunkter \u00e4r egentligen inte jag. Men nu, just nu, h\u00e4r p\u00e5 en kulle i H\u00e4lsingland \u00e4r det just s\u00e5. Tiden bara g\u00e5r. Man f\u00f6ljer bara med. Det \u00e4r inte ens oangen\u00e4mt. 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Gitarrerna. Ost\u00e4mda. Oanv\u00e4nda. L\u00e4mnade. Ensamma. Ledsna. Rummet \u00e4r kallst\u00e4llt. H\u00e4r \u00e4r det inte ombonat. H\u00e4r hamnar allt som inte anv\u00e4nds. Jag ser dom varje kv\u00e4ll n\u00e4r jag g\u00e5r och l\u00e4gger mig. Det d\u00e4r suget i magen suger alltid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20201120_232818-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":47063,"url":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?p=47063","url_meta":{"origin":11897,"position":2},"title":"Torsdag","author":"\u00c5ke Hedman","date":"2024-02-01","format":false,"excerpt":"Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com Helvete. Redan torsdag. Veckan \u00e4r snart slut. Ja f\u00f6r frun \u00e4r det redan slut. Hon jobbar inte p\u00e5 fredagar. Det \u00e4r sedan gammalt. En princip. Men jag, jo jag jobbar p\u00e5 fredagar. Men inte p\u00e5 fredagskv\u00e4llar. Det \u00e4r ocks\u00e5 sedan gammalt. 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Vi brukar bara ha en nu f\u00f6r tiden. Lagad n\u00e5gra g\u00e5nger s\u00e5klart. Det mesta h\u00e4nger med p\u00e5 \u00f6vertid h\u00e4r. Inget att gr\u00e5ta \u00f6ver. Men nu idag, den fungerar utan ytterligare fixande. \"Grattis\" s\u00e4ger jag till mig sj\u00e4lv. Skall passa p\u00e5 att s\u00e4tta upp den innan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse"","block_context":{"text":"Betraktelser & Ber\u00e4ttelse","link":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/?cat=24"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20171025_145045345.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20171025_145045345.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/IMG_20171025_145045345.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68PL2-35T","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11897","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11897"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11897\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11905,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11897\/revisions\/11905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11897"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11897"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.akehedman.se\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11897"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}